LOBINGER WON’T LINGER
Pole vaulting champ Tim Lobinger has died after a long bout with blood cancer, aged 50. He racked up multiple medals in the World Indoor Championships, European Championships, and European Indoor Championships, but underwhelmed at the Olympics. What could’ve been a canon cert with better Olympic fortunes instead left deadpoolers questioning if if he had it in him to launch past the QO bar. The Sun has duly obliged, vaulting a gaggle of teams up the scoreboard: former host The Sunday Supplement’s Premature Review of 2023, joker points for Germans theme Deutschland verabschiedet sich!, routine competitors like Once You Go Black and The Sound of the Underground, and taking pole position, Banana’s Peel Slippers.
Tim Lobinger
3 September 1972 – 16 February 2023, aged 50
8 TEAMS (💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 9 POINTS, 🃏 (x1) 18 POINTS)