IF I BIT IT
Cue the crabs and Windsor Davies, murderer O. J. Simpson has finally run out of juice, aged 76 . One of the NFL’s biggest superstars of the 70s, he truly transcended the sport to fit like a glove in other fields, like acting in all three The Naked Guns and killing his ex-wife Nicole Brown and her friend Ron Goldman. If his acting career was a little lacking, Johnnie Cochran coaxed the performance of a lifetime out of him when he was acquitted of the double murders he committed in “the trial of the century”. His Houdini-ing ran out – the Goldman family won rights to his tell-all and published it as if I DID IT, and an armed robbery sent him to nine years in the slammer. A prostate cancer announcement earlier this year would’ve likely made him a killer pick for the 2025 DDP had he gone that far. And we might still get the chance. Johnnie Cochran found a conveniently shrunken coffin and is bartering with Satan as we speak…
O. J. Simpson
9 July 1947 – 10 April 2024, aged 76
4 TEAMS (💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 7 POINTS)