ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DURST!
Eccentric heir and murderer Robert Durst has fulfilled the annual niche of “suspected fraud who actually dies”, aged 78. Growing up in NYC, Durst repeatedly beat up his siblings, so it was little surprise he was a prime suspect in the mysterious disappearance of his wife in 1982. After his brother was selected by his father to chair the Durst Organization, family relations grew even chillier as Robert Durst sued. After the mysterious death of his friend Susan Berman in 2000, he hightailed to Galveston and borrowed a page from the Bugs Bunny playbook, disguising himself as a woman to throw the police astray. He then murdered and dismembered his neighbour in 2001, but a lack of forensic evidence acquitted him and he only spent months in prison for lesser charges. He seemed poised to get away with it all, as the rich are wont to do…
Then came the documentary. Durst agreed to be interviewed for HBO documentary The Jinx about the deaths in his life, against the advice of literally everyone else in his sphere. His most damning quote wasn’t from an interview, but from him rambling to himself that he “killed them all, of course”. Though the crew behind the documentary did cause controversy when it turns out his monologue was edited for extra drama, the most damning line was nevertheless said and saw him on trial once more. Though Durst attempted to use his health issues to Houdini his way out of punishment yet again, the court was as convinced as most of the DDP. He was sentenced to life in prison in October of last year, but a COVID diagnosis two days after his sentence exacerbated his preexisting health issues and he died mere months into his sentence.
Emphasis on most of the DDP in that paragraph above there. 10 teams did pick him, considerably off the Drop 40 position some were hoping for but what could nevertheless be a key differential as the year pans out. Among the beneficiaries are former champions The Living End and Salmon Mousse, Shaun of the Dead 69, and, with 3 hits in 10 days, DDP Tofoa. The mic’s off now, right? Ok, good. That Durst guy was an idiot, saying something like that. I’d never let anyone know I had hitmen take out those two unique hits of mine when I won the DDP, I needed that win…
It was still on? Feck.
12 April 1943 – 10 January 2022, aged 78
10 TEAMS (💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 7 POINTS)