BUNKERED AND BALDERDASH
Usually, conjoined twins die within hours of one another, but this one took a decade to follow his other half. Former Downing Street press secretary Bernard Ingham was long aligned with Labour causes (he was press secretary to Barbara Castle and Tony Benn early on) before switching sides with the changing political winds to become the well-browed, jowly attack dog for Thatcherism. His confrontational, blusterous style proved highly effective, grumbling “bunkum and balderdash” to press, parliament, and any cabinet ministers who questioned the Thatcher gospel, and was key to keeping Maggie T in power for the next decade.
He stuck as Thatcher’s mouthpiece for the entirety of her tenure, although his abetting of a letter leaking during the Westland affair briefly imperiled his position. Unwilling to be a mouthpiece for anyone else, he left his post the same time as his boss, though not before being knighted. Post-Thatcher, he lambasted the spin artform he had previously mastered, spatted with a neighbour while kicking their car, and blamed the Hillsborough disaster on “tanked up yobs”. Even after official inquiries absolved the fans of any blame, he refused to renege. He’s now tanked down aged 90, and takes three teams closer to the brow of the scoreboard.
Bernard Ingham
21 June 1932 – 24 February 2023, aged 90
3 TEAMS (💀💀💀💀💀 5 POINTS)