THE COWERING INFERNO
Golf champ Tom Weiskopf has died aged 79. Inspired to take up the sport after watching Sam Snead play, Ohio State University considered their promising upstart the next Nicklaus. This premonition was hampered by his playing career largely overlapping with that of the Golden Bear. Weiskopf nevertheless proved to be a strong player on the green, possessing one of the best swings in the game and a rare blend of power and control. He won 16 PGA Tours (most notably the 1973 Open) and was on two Ryder Cup-winning teams – and might have claimed further wins were it not for a hotheaded streak so notorious in golf circles that he was nicknamed “The Towering Inferno”. He later soothed his nerves with golf course design, where he frequently implemented the drivable par-4, whatever that is.
Weiskopf was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in late 2020, making him a solid prospect for the 2021 season. He was stable late last year, suckering numerous deadpoolers into the fatal belief that if someone survives one year with pancan, they’re the next Wilko Johnson. Despite this he remained popular enough to debut on the Drop 40, with The Living End, Pan Breed, Heading Nowhere, and Droller Coaster among the Weisguys to benefit. Golfers outfit The DOA Tour attains a joker hit. Smart Beta and The Sound of the Underground leapfrog into joint second, but the biggest winner is David Quantick’s Showbiz Pals who swings back from the ONJ miss to further his lead once more. The Drive For Five might not be 100% secure yet, but with a little over four months to go and a 27-point lead, the chasing pack probably feels like Weiskopf did having to share so many contests with Jack Nicklaus!
Tom Weiskopf
9 November 1942 – 20 August 2022, aged 79
40 TEAMS (💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 + 40 = 10 POINTS, 🃏 (x1) 20 POINTS)