THEY TOOK HIM AWAY, HA-HAAA!
Longtime insane asylum resident Napoleon XIV has met his Waterloo, aged 84. Fate was not kind to this man. The heir to the House of Bonaparte could’ve reigned over all of France with a different twist of history. The missed opportunity gnawed at him, and he barely kept himself sane by songwriting. The early 60s brought him some decent dough writing hits for Sammy Davis Jr. and Adam Wade (a store brand Johnny Mathis, for the uninitiated) under so-called birth name “Jerry Samuels”.
Then his dog ran away. He did all he could. Pleaded for her to stay. Warned her he’d go mad. Lavished her with all sorts of kind, unselfish, loving deeds. The escapee pooch completely unfurled our madman and left the nice young men in their clean white coats with no choice but to take him away to the funny farm. With little on his mind besides the dog, he channeled his inner turmoil into songwriting, and the autobiographical, siren-laden “They’re Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa!” was a surprise pop hit that peaked at #3 on the US charts and #4 on the UK charts. To add insult to injury, after he poured his heart out for the lost canine, his song was near-immediately expunged from US airplay due to fears that its portrayal of mental health was too insensitive.
He continued to delve into insanity themes for his oeuvre, including a reverse version of his big hit and an answer song recorded by Josephine XV, and became a favourite of Dr. Demento airplay and Donald Trump’s theme music for most of these past few years. First picked on a one hit wonders theme team in 2009, he had fled from the DDP asylum for many a year only for him to be straightjacketed back to these corridors just in time. And who has him? Oh yes, me. My first unique hit on TJS since the lady who sang “I Will Survive” to her breast tumour, it’s a clear sign that nutters are the way to go. Life is beautiful all the time…
Jerry Samuels/Napoleon XIV
3 May 1938 – 10 March 2023, aged 84
💀💀💀💀💀💀 + 👻 = 10 POINTS
*flips over 45*
STNIOP 01 = 👻 + 💀💀💀💀💀💀
48 dega ,3202 hcraM 01 – 8391 yaM 3
VIX noelopaN/sleumaS yrreJ
…emit eht lla lufituaeb si efiL .og ot yaw eht era srettun taht ngis raelc a s’ti ,ruomut tsaerb reh ot ”evivruS lliW I“ gnas ohw ydal eht ecnis SJT no tih euqinu tsrif yM .em ,sey hO ?mih sah ohw dnA .emit ni tsuj srodirroc eseht ot kcab detekcajthgiarts eb ot mih rof ylno raey a ynam rof mulysa PDD eht morf delf dah eh ,9002 ni maet emeht srednow tih eno a no dekcip tsriF .sraey wef tsap eseht fo tsom rof cisum emeht s’pmurT dlanoD dna yalpria otnemeD .rD fo etiruovaf a emaceb dna ,VX enihpesoJ yb dedrocer gnos rewsna na dna tih gib sih fo noisrev esrever a gnidulcni ,ervueo sih rof semeht ytinasni otni evled ot deunitnoc eH
.evitisnesni oot saw htlaeh latnem fo layartrop sti taht sraef ot eud yalpria SU morf degnupxe yletaidemmi-raen saw gnos sih ,eninac tsol eht rof tuo traeh sih deruop eh retfa ,yrujni ot tlusni dda oT .strahc KU eht no 4# dna strahc SU eht no 3# ta dekaep taht tih pop esirprus a saw ”!aaaH-aH ,yawA eM ekaT ot gnimoC er’yehT“ nedal-neris ,lacihpargoibotua eht dna ,gnitirwgnos otni liomrut renni sih delennahc eh ,god eht sediseb dnim sih no elttil htiW .mraf ynnuf eht ot yawa mih ekat ot tub eciohc on htiw staoc etihw naelc rieht ni nem gnuoy ecin eht tfel dna namdam ruo delrufnu yletelpmoc hcoop eepacse ehT .sdeed gnivol ,hsiflesnu ,dnik fo stros lla htiw reh dehsivaL .dam og d’eh reh denraW .yats ot reh rof dedaelP .dluoc eh lla did eH .yawa nar god sih nehT
.”sleumaS yrreJ“ eman htrib dellac-os rednu )detaitininu eht rof ,sihtaM ynnhoJ dnarb erots a( edaW madA dna .rJ sivaD ymmaS rof stih gnitirw hguod tneced emos mih thguorb s06 ylrae ehT .gnitirwgnos yb enas flesmih tpek ylerab eh dna ,mih ta dewang ytinutroppo dessim ehT .yrotsih fo tsiwt tnereffid a htiw ecnarF fo lla revo dengier ev’dluoc etrapanoB fo esuoH eht ot rieh ehT .nam siht ot dnik ton saw etaF .48 dega ,oolretaW sih tem sah VIX noelopaN tnediser mulysa enasni emitgnoL
!AAAH-AH ,YAWA MIH KOOT YEHT