Mohamed Al-Fayed


Mohamed Al-Fayed was probably best known for his supporting role in the furore surrounding Princess Diana’s death. Perishing in the same crash was Di’s boyfriend and Al-Fayed’s son Dodi. A grief-stricken Al-Fayed uncovered the truth – that Prince Philip didn’t want Di to walk like an Egyptian and coordinated an assassination with the help of the MI6, JFK, Bigfoot, Elvis, and Jeanne Calment’s stunt double. All in all the ensuing catfight where Al-Fayed bitch slapped Phil was one of the biggest ratings grabs of the 1997 season of the British Keeping Up with the Kardashians.

Before all that, Al-Fayed built himself to billions through business ventures in his native Egypt and later the UK, and formed partnerships with the Sultan of Brunei and Papa Doc Duvalier. His most noted purchases included the Ritz Hotel in Paris, the Harrods luxury department store, and Fulham FC. Even with his riches, his boisterous personality never fully integrated into the British elite and he never got a UK passport (tanking the careers of a few bribed Tory ministers in the process). There was also a lingering cloud of sexual harassment allegations.

Al-Fayed was 94 and “the Phoney Pharoah” (a Private Eye nickname referencing the fact he added “Al-” to his name to sound more aristocratic) places 14 teams on the throne, including joker points for Bladerunner, Zombie Dance Party, and Passing of the Passed.

Mohamed Al-Fayed
27 January 1929 – 30 August 2023, aged 94
14 TEAMS (💀💀💀💀💀 5 POINTS, 🃏 (x3) 10 POINTS)