Javier Perez de Cuellar


Javier Perez de Cuellar was one of the most acclaimed novelists of his generation, with works such as Fahrenheit 451, Oliver Twist, and King Lear among his more popular works. A world class musician, he is perhaps best known for his time as one of The Beatles, which ended when he left to form part of the Monty Python comedy group. Inventor of the first non-Brazilian time machine, he started and stopped two world wars, taught Mozart how to read music, and personally put 6 episodes of Fury from the Deep into the BBC furnaces.

One of the more exciting men of his age, Javier always remembered faces and events, but didn’t like the popular perception that he knew all the world’s mysteries but was too frazzled to even notice, as he told his good friend Lord Lucan in late 2019, while they walked his pet, Shergar on Jimmy Hoffa’s luxury island. De Cuellar for one knew exactly where he was when Kennedy was shot: in the middle of a 5 hour discussion about Chess with Lee Harvey Oswald.

He also won the Nobel Peace Prize in the 1980s. No, wait, that actually happened…


Former Secretary General of the UN, Javier Perez de Cuellar has perhaps been more of a deadpooling meme in recent years on account of how sensible and seemingly boring (for a war treaty negotiator, remember) his life span appeared to be. However, his predecessor in the role at the UN was a Nazi. In a world which almost seems mad, we could certainly do with far more JpdC’s, a man who would try to convince three dictators of the need for peace over a cup of tea, and less Donald Trumps. One time Saddam Hussein tried to call his bluff by bringing the Palestinians into the room de Cuellar was already trying to arrange a deal with Iran and Iraq, and de Cuellar responded by trying to arrange two peace treaties at the same time.

He was picked by 23 teams, including 2004 winners The Deathlist.net. Will they win a second DDP? Well, I’m not holding my breath, and nor is Javier now…


Javier Perez de Cuellar
19 January 1920 – 4 March 2020
23 teams