There will be two immediate changes to the 2021 Derby Dead Pool.
The first is that picks deemed to be Famous For Being Ill Only WILL BE BANNED as of 1st January 2021. There have been far too many morally dubious picks in recent years, even by deadpooling standards, and we note the increasing wariness and weariness of DDP players about them. This will not stop you picking a team full of niche names, your Trinidadian historians and rare former European minor royals and the like. It will put a stop to the use of people who only appear in the news because they are about to die with no other notable achievements. All of us should know a bad pick when we see it, but here is a useful guide put together with the help of former DL poster Deathray (we hardly knew ye…)
1. Are they notable for anything other than being ill, at least at a local level? GOOD TO GO.
2. If not, they mostly notable for being ill? GO TO QUESTION 4
3. Are they not notable at all? REJECT
4. Have they achieved anything of note in spite of their illness? (ie did they raise shitloads for charity ala Jane Tomlinson, or now work for the BBC ala Deborah James, or got an OBE for their work ala Kate Granger, or helped topple a government ala Vicky Phelan). OK FOR NOW
5. Have they failed Questions 1, 3 and or 4, and thus aren’t in the slightest bit famous, even in some godforsaken heap like Detroit or Glasgow? REJECT
6. Are they known solely for articles in The Mirror or the Sun or what not saying “Terminally ill young mother faces final Christmas” or words to that extent? GONNAE NO DO THAT.
Now this wont please everyone who wanted stricter fireguards, but it’s a start which can be built on in the future if need be. For example, the parents and siblings of celebrities are technically a grey area, but I feel most of them can be run through the 6 check points above. [Sadly there is no ban on people who make their living off reality TV appearances.] The entry period for a new DDP is quite hectic and the last thing anyone involved needs to deal with is the number of cheeky sods who try and play to the whistle as much as possible (you all know who you are!) so the above guidelines reveal exactly who will and wont be accepted. And besides, we all know the type of picks that are going.
If you pick a person deemed to be ineligible they will be automatically swapped for your first sub. If such a thing exists. You will not be able to add new subs due to the nature of the game. And if you pick more than 3 FFBI picks, well, consider this a warning. Reptile is working on a suitable in-game disincentive as we speak. More on that later.
In other words, the days of those queasy picks who don’t get write ups on the front page because of their sensitive nature are soon to be over.
The other news concerns the theme team league. The Committee has decided not to get rid of the theme team league but there will be some new restrictions on teams added. Namely, you can no longer have a list of 20 perfectly normal men. 20 men with no linking theme is a DDP team, not a theme team. Another limitation is the Diana Rots Rule. We will not ban teams who exist solely to scavenge living picks from previous years, because it’s as valid a form of team making as any other. They will no longer be considered Theme Teams. A theme team should have a theme, however tenuous. 20 normal guys, 20 straight people or 20 folk from last years top 10 are just DDP teams, and will be treated as such. NOTE This does not ban such teams from the DDP as a whole, it just means they will no longer be counted in the theme team league. And it’s been worded as such to protect theme team pioneers like the Gray Panthers and the The British (D)i(e)sles.
Anyhow, that’s it for now. More tinkering, if need be, will be announced in good time.
The DDP Cmme