The summer bloodbath continues unrelenting with another eight departees to the afterlife to report:
Military
Two wartime veterans that escaped the List of the Lost start us off this week. First to go was Hugo Broch, the former Luftwaffe ace finally getting his other wings back in May. Stationed on the Eastern Front during World War 2, he was the bane of the Allied forces there with over 80 confirmed aerial victories. He was the last living recipient of the KC of the Iron Cross, and even got a ride in a Spitfire later in life to show there was no hard feelings about the whole fighting for/being a Nazi! He’s one of the two most popular hits of the week, with The Times coming to the rescue for five teams.
Fortunately our other daring military escapee from the Lost list is much less morally dubious. Nothing controversial about Vietnam! Bruce P. Crandall made his claim to fame at the Battle of Ia Drang. He and his wingman, Ed Freeman, carried out medical evacuations and supply runs over fourteen hours, fourteen flights and three different choppers under intense gunfire and all he got to show for it was a measly Distinguished Service Cross. He went into the civil service after his military career was ended by a stroke, but he was frequently in contention for the top bravery award whenever they were getting handed out. He even turned it down in 2001 so that Freeman could get the award first! It would be forty years before George W. Bush finally drooped the prestigious Medal of Honor around his neck. Passing away at 93, he scores nine points for Perhaps’ Pointless Punts thanks to another belated QO from The Times.
Music
Founding member of soft rock band Chicago and noted woodwind enthusiast Walter Parazaider has succumbed to Alzheimer’s. The band have been one of the most successful acts of the last century with worldwide record sales topping 100 million (don’t ask me how, I think they’re shite), but it was 1976’s If You Leave Me Now that brought them to the attention of #1 Hits. It remains their only single to make it to No. 1 in the UK, and it makes for a sweet ten point unique hit.
We also lost the last of 1950’s pop variety act The Beverley Sisters as Hazel P. Chinery aka “Teddie Beverely” falls just short of the century and joins her two siblings in heaven for a nice bland mug of Ovaltine. Five points for Bastard Must’ve Died and the musically themed Great Gig in the Sky.
Politics
Labour juggernaut Roy Hattersley has finally dried up at the age of 93. He entered parliament in 1964 and swiftly rose through the party ranks, albeit never getting one of the major cabinet jobs while Labour were in power. He would go on to serve as their deputy leader for nine years while in opposition to the Conservative government of the 80’s and 90’s, leaving the job after losing yet another election in 1992. He wasn’t a big fan of the direction Tony Blair took Labour once he got the top job, so got dealt with in the typical fashion by being booted upstairs into the Lords where he could be kept out of trouble.
He’s as well known for his impact to satirical pop culture as anything political however, his spittle-spewing puppet on Spitting Image being one of the most well known caricatures they ever put on screen. Frequent last minute cancellations on Have I Got News For You also eventually led them to replacing him with a tub of lard for one episode. He’s the second of the two most popular picks this week, scoring five points for five teams.
Religion
Cardinal Camillo Ruini is our spiritual representative this week, notching a unique nine points for newcomers Green Records. It’s getting late and I need to wrap this up so I’m just going to assume that as a bigwig in the Catholic Church he was a frequent attendee of Pride events and hunted vampires in his spare time. No need to bother fact checking that one, let’s move on.
Sport
Italian striker Igor Protti is now as dead as Italian football, losing his battle with colon cancer at the age of only 58. Most well known for his time with Lazio, Bari and Livorno, he was a prolific six yard box poacher and one of only two players to be the highest scorer in each of the top three Italian leagues. Whether it was lack of publicity or fear of a QO miss, only two teams took a punt on him. He scores a potentially crucial 9 points for Octopus of Odstock’s Elton Welsby’s Sporting Triangles, putting the team on 62 points and within touching distance of the score range usually needed to win the theme league in recent years. Retired DDP scoreboard maestro Reptile also gets their fifth hit for The B-Team.
Television & Radio
We switch off with William Smithers, an actor whose list of TV programs he didn’t appear in would be far shorter than the ones he did, but it’s recurring villain Jeremy Wendell in 80’s soap opera Dallas that was his most famous role. He also took production behemoth MGM to court over his rights to star billing in Executive Suite, winning the case at all levels up to the Californian Supreme Court. Said series was promptly forgotten by history and only remembered by entertainment law students afterwards but yay for the little guy! Five points go to Doge Team and Harry Rotter & The Deathly Hallows Part 2,
Scores
| Name | Age | Date of Death | Teams and Scores |
| William Smithers | 98 | May 26 | 2 Teams 💀💀💀💀💀= 5 Points |
| Hugo Broch | 104 | May 31 | 5 Teams 💀💀💀💀 = 4 Points |
| Bruce P. Crandall | 93 | May 31 | Perhaps’ Pointless Punts💀💀💀💀💀+👻 = 9 Points |
| Roy Hattersley | 93 | June 13 | 5 Teams💀💀💀💀💀= 5 Points |
| Camillo Ruini | 95 | June 16 | Green Records 💀💀💀💀💀+👻= 9 Points |
| Hazel P. Chinery | 99 | June 17 | 2 Teams 💀💀💀💀💀= 5 Points |
| Walter Parazaider | 81 | June 17 | #1 Hits 💀💀💀💀💀💀+👻 = 10 Points |
| Igor Protti | 58 | June 19 | 2 Teams 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 = 9 Points |
Right, if everyone can just stop fucking dying for a week or two while I focus on my upcoming career change that would be great. Oh fuck you Alan Greenspan ^_^