Four more confirmed hits to report this week, though Kier Starmer’s political career isn’t among them quite yet…
Business
It’s media-mogul and philanthropist Ted Turner who’s the biggest hit this week, having finally succumbed to Lewy Body Dementia at the age of 87. Turner inherited a lucrative billboard advertising company from his father in his 20’s and grew this into a huge media empire, becoming one of the biggest figures of the growing cable television market over the years. His ownership and establishments ranged from CNN, TBS, TNT, Cartoon Network, the WCW and multiple Atlanta based sports teams.
Don’t let the philanthropy fool you though, for Ted Turner had a dark side. Culturally insensitive sports celebrations and offending multiple religious groups is one thing, but on September 11, 1993 he couldn’t keep his environmentalist beliefs in check in any longer and unleashed Captain Planet and the Planeteers upon the world. I’m sure Donald Trump is sleeping easier now that the eco-warrior class traitor can’t hurt him anymore. He’s picked by fifteen teams, and was a joker for Francis Of Wrestle-Easy 2026 and God, It’s Brutal Out Here.
Politics
Dame Shirley Porter was a Conservative politician in the 1980’s, serving as the leader of the Westminster City Council. She’s most notable for the Homes for Votes scandal, where council houses were sold off well below market rate alongside mass clearances of the homeless out of the council area in order to increase the likelihood of the remaining residents to vote Tory. Once the blatant corruption became public, she fled to Israel and made sure all of her financial assets were unreachable, eventually settling for a paltry £12 million in penalties. That only left her with £56 million left over you know, so she basically died in poverty by any reasonable standard. She’s the first of There is nothing like a dame’s “honourable” ladies to fall this year, for 9 points.
Sport
He’s high, he’s far, and now he’s gone! John Sterling was the longstanding sportscaster for the New York Yankees, covering over five thousand games across twenty-five years. He was well known for his colourful match commentary and sometimes being a bit economical with the truth of the pitch action. His heart giving up the ghost scores a potentially massive ten points for G-O-T-T-O-G-O!, who climb to joint second with their sixth hit this year.
The New York Yankees lost John Sterling, the Atlanta Braves lost Ted Turner, but they both also lost Bobby Cox this week. Cox won two World Series with the former and four manager of the year awards with the latter. How he managed to win so many accolades at work, be a father to eight children and still manage to find the time to batter his wife is a mystery for the ages. After years of mounting health problems he’s become the first Bob of the year to fall for BOBBING FOR APPLES, for ten points.
Scores
| Name | Age | Date of Death | Teams and Scores |
| Shirley Porter | 95 | May 2 | There is nothing like a dame 💀💀💀💀💀+👻 = 9 Points |
| John Sterling | 87 | May 4 | G-O-T-T-O-G-O! 💀💀💀💀💀💀+👻= 10 Points |
| Ted Turner | 87 | May 6 | 13 Teams💀💀💀💀💀💀= 6 Points 2 Teams 🃏 = 12 Points |
| Bobby Cox | 84 | May 9 | BOBBING FOR APPLES 💀💀💀💀💀💀+👻= 10 Points |