HOPELESSLY DEMOTED TO BLUE
Despite our clamping down on FFBIs in the DDP, a few slipped through the cracks. Case in point: A bunch of teams scored points with the granddaughter of Einstein’s bestie.
Wait, she did a bit since then? Oh, tell me more…
Yes, months after losing its namesake, one of Rydell High’s biggest alumni has been expelled from life. Beloved pop darling Olivia Newton-John has gone the way of Sandra Dee and Doris Day aged 73. Cambridge-born but Australia-raised, Newton-John eyed a musical career from a young age, forming a short-lived girl group and frequently appearing on local variety programmes. After relocating to Britain to further her career, she achieved minor success as a duo with childhood friend Pat Carroll (not the one who just died) and transferred the momentum into her debut album which placed top 10 singles in both Australia and the UK. She represented the UK at the Eurovision Song Contest 1974, but faced long odds in the year of ABBA.
Only US stardom seemed to evade her, but her fortunes changed statewide with a string of country-tinged hits in the mid-70s such as “I Honestly Love You”, “Have You Ever Been Mellow” (both US charttoppers), and “Please Mr. Please”. Her public image now established as a wholesome country popster, Newton-John ruffled feathers in country purist communities who felt that an Australian doing country couldn’t stand toe to toe with Nashville stalwarts. To which I say that genre all sounds the same anyway. Seemingly so did Nashville, as they accepted her as one of their own a couple years later.
Nevertheless the country-pop path didn’t have long-term viability, and her career began to sputter out. Then came a life raft that had groove. And meaning. As goody two-shoes Sandy, she was a major slice of the tasty 50s-throwback cheese that is Grease. Newton-John was hesitant to take the part of Sandy – citing the awkwardness of someone nearly 30 playing a high school student – but agreed to the part after a successful screen test with John Travolta. Her Aussie backdrop was incorporated into the character who spawned a trio of monster hits – moody solo “Hopelessly Devoted To You” and bouncy Travolta duets “Summer Nights” and “You’re The One That I Want”. The last of which topped the charts in the UK, US, Australia, New Zealand, Ireland, Germany, Belgium, Switzerland, Norway, Sweden, Finland, the Netherlands, and Israel. Phew! “A Little More Love” was unrelated to Grease but another smash success that indicated a change in her direction.
Grease ended with Sandy renovating herself as a spandex-clad rebel. This inspired an image change in Olivia Newton-John herself, who ditched her past wholesome image for a more sexed up look. She quickly followed up one musical with another, starring in Xanadu as a reincarnated Greek muse. Though so critically panned it helped inspire the Golden Raspberries, the soundtrack fared better and was a key component to its subsequent cult status. Songs like “Magic” and the ELO-backed title track are my personal favourites in her catalogue. Her raunchier image was fully cemented with the horndog “Physical”, whose dominant 10-week run atop the US charts rendered it the biggest 80s hit in the States. It also seized the rise of MTV with a music video that depicted Newton-John as an exercise coach who turned obese men into Gooseberry fodder.
After giving birth, Newton-John took a hiatus from music and struggled to relaunch herself once she was ready to record again, and a horrid double whammy in 1992 (she was diagnosed with breast cancer the same week her father died) further complicated matters. Though most of her chart presence in the 90s onward was limited to Grease remixes, she remained in the spotlight as a well-respected ambassador for humanitarian causes. Already an animal rights activist, she devoted much of her time to raising cancer awareness, established a cancer centre in 2008, and received the damehood in 2020 for her efforts. Though in remission for many years, subsequent physicals, physicals revealed cancer recurrences in 2013 and 2017, the last of which has led to her death. Though given her skill at reinventing herself, for all we know a zombie Olivia Newton-John is ready to storm the charts again!
Her final cancer battle made Newton-John a deadpooling sensation and a mainstay of the Drop 40 for so long that deadpoolers were beginning to feel hopelessly devoted to her. She was the one that 91 teams wanted, and takes this 40’s fatalities into double digits. Among the hit parade are Pity da Foolz, The Beatles Are Dying In The Wrong Order, and The Misers, and fresh off scoring with another famed Aussie songstress in Judith Durham, CLOG POPPERS lands their joker. In tandem with an artist who was more of a general populace favourite than a critic’s darling, the DDP elite largely avoided her, but noted exceptions are 2023? – no thank you! I’ll leave before – now third place – and DDP Tofoa, who continues to hit the right Drop 40 notes and returns to second. David Quantick’s Showbiz Pals’s lead is reduced to 17 and he’s hoping more than ever that there won’t be any George Alagiah BBC Breaking alerts these next five months.
Olivia Newton-John
26 September 1948 – 8 August 2022, aged 73
91 TEAMS (💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 + 40 = 10 POINTS, 🃏 (x1) 20 POINTS)