THE 700 (YEARS OLD) CLUB
Cryptkeeper televangelist Pat Robertson has finally faced his judgment aged 93. One of the leading voices of the religious right, longstanding television programme The 700 Club was the pulpit from which he preached his fire-and-brimstone bigotry. Ideologically he was essentially a more politically savvy Fred Phelps – he still blamed 9/11 and other tragedies on God’s wrath towards the gays, abortion, and anyone who wasn’t a conservative Christian, but because he didn’t picket funerals he made headwinds into mainstream politics that Freddy boy could only dream of.
This reached its crescendo with his 1988 bid for US President, where he finished ahead of eventual nominee Bush Sr. in the Iowa caucuses but fell out of contention after an underwhelming result in New Hampshire. If his own presidential campaign sputtered out, Robertson’s fundamentalist stylings have been core to Republican DNA since. He retired from The 700 Club in 2021, and five teams (top 25 entrant Cancel My Appointments among them) deduced we’d soon be hearing “If America didn’t accept homosexuality God never would’ve killed me” cries from Hell.
Pat Robertson
22 March 1930 – 8 June 2023, aged 93
5 TEAMS (💀💀💀💀💀 5 POINTS)