Celebrity picks for Derby Dead Pool 2010: J

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Jackson, Janet Born 16 May 1966  (Gary, Indiana, USA) Sister of Michael. Successful singer & actress, who is one of the top-selling female artists despite a well-publicised "wardrobe malfunction" when her tits (or one of them) were out for the lads & 100 million other people during the half-time live performance of the 2004 Super Bowl. Maybe Poppin' Their Clogs

Jackson, Jesse Born 8 October 1941  (Greenville, South Carolina, USA) Controversial politician & civil rights activist, as well as a Baptist minister. 6feetunder Time's Up My Son

Jackson, Joseph Born 26 July 1929  (Fountain Hill, Arkansas, USA) Father of Michael & all the other Jacksons, former manager of Jackson 5. Cave Piggy's Stiff's In Waiting Illinois Reaper Beater 4.0 Star Dust The Worst Acronym Team

Jackson, La Toya Born 29 May 1956  (Gary, Indiana, USA) Fifth child of the famous Jackson family of singers. Killermoon

Jackson, Samuel L Born 21 December 1948  (Washington D.C., USA) Award winning actor, with a whole string of hit films to his credit in the last three decades. Prunella Vulgaris

Jacob, Francois Born 17 June 1920  (Nancy, France) Nobel Prize winner in Medicine in 1965, a feted biologist. Nobel Losers

Jacobs, David Born 19 May 1926  (London, England) Veteran disc jockey & former television presenter, former Eurovision commentator for the BBC. Radio Ga Ga Gone

Jaffee, Al Born 13 March 1921  (Savannah, Georgia, USA) Cartoonist with MAD magazine since 1955. Features include the back cover fold-in and "Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions". Soylent Dreams

Jagger, Mick Born 26 July 1943  (Dartford, Kent, England) Rubber-lipped lead singer of the Rolling Stones. Dead Enders If They're Not All Dead Then They Should Be The Chacks

James, Clifton Born 29 May 1921  (New York, New York, USA) Actor, Sheriff J.W. Pepper in two James Bond movies. Club Carp Dead By Dawn Rubinstein's Coffin Fit

James, Clive Born 7 October 1939  (Kogarah, Sydney, New South Wales, Australia) TV critic, writer & author who thinks he is far far funnier than he actually is. Dead Certainties

James, LeBron Born 30 December 1984  (Akron, Ohio, USA) Basketball player in the NBA Deadly As Sin Till You Win

James, Mark Born 28 October 1953  (Manchester, England) Professional golfer. Captained Europe's Ryder Cup team in 1999. Let's Have A Look At The Old Graveyard - Nice To See Me...

James, P. D. Born 3 August 1920  (Oxford, England) Author of mystery novels. Dave's Bungalow Of Death Globaltruth

Jameson, Derek Born 29 November 1929  (London, England) One of those people that the great unwashed general public thought died years ago but is still alive & well (so far, anyway). Former journalist, turned broadcaster - a frequent guest on "Countdown". One Bar Gas Fire And A Tin Of Dog Food The Worst Acronym Team

Jane, Bob Born 18 December 1929  (Brunswick, Melbourne, Australia) Former touring car racing driver, but better known, in Australia anyway, as a businessman. Mr & Mrs Drummerboy

Janis, Dorothy Born 19 February 1910  (Dallas, Texas, USA) Silent film actress. Died in March 2010 but no obit. You're Not Acting Like Yourself Today -- Are You Dead?

Janner, Greville Born 11 July 1928  (Cardiff, Wales) Former MP for Leicester between 1970 & 1997. Dead Commons

Jaruzelski, General Wojciech Born 6 July 1923  (Kurow, Poland) Joined the Polish army during WWII, and turned to politics in the 1960s. Rose through the ranks of the Communist Party to become National Secretary (President of Poland in all but name) in 1981, just as the Solidarity movement was heating up. Pitted his trademark sunglasses against Lech Walesa's moustache and lost. Removed from office in 1990, but has been too unwell to face trial ever since. Pooil Vaaish

Jason, David Born 2 February 1940  (Edmonton, London, England) Comedy actor, best known as Granville in 'Open All Hours' and Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter in 'Only Fools and Horses'. Even after a decade, it's still hard not to smirk at his supposedly serious role as Detective Inspector Jack Frost in 'A Touch of Frost'. Milksnatcher Bites The Dust!! The Grim Reapers Club... Members Only

Jean I of Luxembourg, Grand Duke Born 5 January 1921  (Berg Castle, Luxembourg) Ruler of Luxembourg from 1964 to 2000. One Less Bullet Come The Revolution The Grey Horde Tomb Raiders  Wep 2.0 - World's Eternity Prophet Reloaded

Jeffries, Lionel  Born 10 June 1926  (London, England) Died 19 February 2010  (Poole, Dorset, England) Age at death: 83  (read death notice) Actor who specialised in playing stereotypical eccentric English gentlemen, such as Grandpa Potts in "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang". Dave's Dead, Aye Dead Drunk Dr Shipman's Waiting Room Jellydead One Scythe Fits All Trojan Hearse

Jelinek, Elfriede Born 20 October 1946  (Mürzzuschlag, Styria, Austria) Austrian feminist playwright & novelist. Nobel Loserettes

Jenkins, Right Rev. David Born 26 January 1925  (Bromley, Kent, England) Hugely controversial former Bishop of Durham. Diepod Shuffle

Jobs, Steve Born 24 February 1955  (San Francisco, California, USA) Co-founder of Apple Computers and Pixar. 2 Sick Not 2 Quit Alison The Assassin And My Name Is Larry! Annus Horribilis Are You Still Dying, Darling? Breath 'ns For Losers Croaker D'Eath And The Prognosticators Dead Set Death From Down Under Death Stalks United Diet Of Worms Food For Worms Going Green Grim Creepers H5N1 Researched To Death If I'm Spared Myself, Of Course Knowing My Luck I'll Reincarnate As A Mayfly Again! Nobody Gets Out Of Here Alive  No Penalties, It's Sudden Death!  People I Think Might Die In 2010 United Perish, The Thought Playing The Death Card Return To Sender Roadkill Wombats Say Hi To Uncle George See, I Told You I Was Sick! Shovelful Of Dirt The Dead Certs The International Columbo Fan-Club The O'Shannon Wee J's Man ThePoitouTeam The Unspiritualist This Mortal Coil Wall Street Massacre Well You're Dead Now And That's The End Of It  WinR.I.P. You're Not Breathing Anymore

Johansson-Engdahl, Signe Born 27 May 1905  (Bromma, Stockholm, Sweden) Competed in the 1924 Summer Olympics & and was the oldest Olympian believed to be alive. Died in May 2010 but no obit. The Vyrdolak

John, Margaret Born in Swansea, Wales  (exact date unknown) Veteran Welsh character actress who has recently found some fame to a new audience as a character in "Gavin & Stacey". Born 1924. Pobol Y Fedd

John, Sir Elton Born 25 March 1947  (Pinner, Middlesex, England) The most successful pop star of the 1970s, who has managed to remain more or less in the limelight ever since, despite (or perhaps because of) drug and alcohol problems, bust-ups with his lyricist Bernie Taupin, a turbulent love life and a lamentable dress sense. 30 Points, We`ll Be Back Up Bond, Elch Bond Deadpoolers Death Stalks United Dolly Daydreams Dead Ones Evil (not quite) Dead I'm Nearly 80 And I'm A Sicko Juicy Janny Mad Maureen One Way Ticket  Rotters Stairway To Heaven Take The Last Rite To The Mortuary Wancanton Winker Turning His Toes Up You’re A Goner

Johns, Glynis Born 5 October 1923  (Pretoria, South Africa) Husky-voiced actress (and dancer/singer), of Welsh origin, a popular actress in the 1950s. Happy Death Day To You I'll Get The Oven On Stoke Up The Furnace I Shan't Be Long VSBfromH

Johns, Jasper Born 15 May 1930  (Augusta, Georgia, USA) American abstract expressionist painter. All Death Is Consolation People I Think Might Die In 2010 United

Johnson, Holly Born 19 February 1960  (Khartoum, Sudan) African-born former frontman of '80s Scouse popsters Frankie Goes To Hollywood. Was diagnosed with HIV in the late '80s, but treatment has kept it at bay ever since, and he continues to work in the music industry. Deadpoolers Globaltruth Graham Reaper's Dead Army Partridge As Reaper Pop Goes The Pop Star Well You're Dead Now And That's The End Of It

Johnson, John Henry Born 24 November 1929  (Waterproof, Louisiana, USA) Former American footballer, a fullback. Time's Up My Son

Johnson, Laurie Born 7 February 1927  (London, England) Bandleader and television composer who had a hit single in 1960 with 'Sucu Sucu' which was the theme to the TV series 'Top Secret'. Two Hit Wonders

Johnson, Magic Born 14 August 1959  (Lansing, Michigan, USA) HIV-positive former basketball player. Corpse Bride Picktons Pork Pies Stop All The Clocks Time's Up My Son

Johnson, Russell Born 10 November 1924  (Ashley, Pennsylvania, USA) Actor, in numerous shows & films, but remembered in the US for his role in "Gilligan's Island". Sexystf Time's Up My Son

Johnson, Teddy Born 4 September 1920  (Surbiton, Surrey, England) Variety star, a singer, along with his wife Pearl Carr, who were big in the 50s, but have now both long been forgotten about. A Rattly Score Of Old Puffins Pop Goes The Pop Star

Johnson Jr, Ernie Born 5 November 1956  (Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA) American sports broadcaster, currently fighting cancer. Jims Deadbeats

Johnston, Levi Born 3 May 1990  (Wasilla, Alaska, USA) Man who upset the applecart in August 2008, when it was revealed that he was the father of vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin's daughter's unborn baby. The baby, Tripp, was born in December 2008 and since then he has broken off the engagement with Palin's daughter. F3ar My Awesomeness

Jolie, Angelina Born 4 June 1975  (Los Angeles, California, USA) Lara Croft actress. Wot The Deuce

Jones, Freddie Born 17 August 1927  (Stoke-on-Trent, Staffordshire, England) Actor, currently in Emmerdale & has been on TV for aeons. Globaltruth Miss Creant

Jones, George Born 12 September 1931  (Saratoga, Texas, USA) Country music star. See You In Heaven

Jones, Johnny "Lam" Born 4 April 1958  (Lawton, Oklahoma, USA) Former athlete and American Football player, won a gold medal at the 1976 Olympics. Clathrate Gun

Jones, Quincy Born 14 March 1933  (Chicago, Illinois, USA) Music composer, trumpeter, record producer & arranger, mainly of "feel-good" music. The Worst Acronym Team Zombie Nation

Jones, Terry Born 1 February 1942  (Colwyn Bay, Wales) Member of Monty Python and one of Britain's most noted historians. Mr. Yuck Seasideessexxile The Caulkhead Coffin-Kickers Trojan Hearse Wishy-Washy

Jones, Tom Born 7 June 1940  (Pontypridd, Wales) Gravelly-voiced, hirsute Welsh singer, inexplicably attractive to ladies of a certain age. Dead Spotters Gwynhafyr Lived So Lets Die Lulu's Stiffs! The Grim Reapers Club... Members Only

Jong-Il, Kim Born 16 February 1941  (Khabarovsk, Siberia, USSR (now Russia)) "Dear Leader" (a.k.a. tinpot dictator) of North Korea. "18 Whiskies, I Think That's The Record." 30 Points, We`ll Be Back Up Alfred Lord Heinous Baz And Barry's Burial Bonanza David the Aspie Dead Fellas Livin' On A Prayer Dead Set Deathlist.net Deathpig Deceased Hose Dethdefying Don't Let The Pearly Gates Hit You Up The Arse On The Way In Drop Dead Celebration Drunkasaskunk Eternity Tours Evil (not quite) Dead Exah Fallen Off The Twig Four Horseman Of The Magic Roundabout Gary Glitter's Ghoulies Green Machine Fox In A Box I Can't Believe I Ate The Whole Thing I Drink Your Milkshake If They're Not All Dead Then They Should Be I'm Nearly 80 And I'm A Sicko It's Worse Than That, He's Dead Jim! Johnny Foreskin And The Pullbacks Kackers United Kennedy Driving School Kim Jong's Ill Kurt Cobain's Trigger Finger Lead, Follow ... And Die This Year Like Steve Says Its Teh Suxx Mad Maureen's Wishlist Madonna's Hand of Bod Miss Creant Morbid United FC Mr. Yuck .....norfolk & Good Norman Tebbit's Bicycle Club Only Fools & Corpses Perish, The Thought Return To Sender Rotters Say Hi To Uncle George See, I Told You I Was Sick! See You In Hell  Shovelful Of Dirt Sicilian Actuaries Snorkeling STAB_in_the_DARK Stairway To Heaven Star Dust Stephen Hawking's Football Boots Tazmans Hit List The Caulkhead Coffin-Kickers The Conqueror Worm The Dead Certs Not Sleeping Just Bloody Dead The Douglas Bader Dance Troupe 2010 The Grey Horde The Incontinentals The Last Gasp The Long Awaited Return Of The Dorset Jury Themankini.com The Mortal Portal The Unspiritualist Toasted Brown Bread Tonight Matthew I'm Going To Be Badly-Torn Boy Wake Up & Smell The Coffin Worm Farmer Wot The Deuce You Must Be Croaking!

Joosten, Kathryn Born 20 December 1939  (Eustis, Florida, USA) Televison actress, most recently appearing in 'Desperate Housewives'. Alfred Lord Heinous Breathless In Seattle The Hartlepool Harbingers Daniel Faraday's Notebook Livin' On A Prayer Dead Set Deceased Hose Fallen Off The Twig Fallen Sparrow A Dead Flange In Time Scores 9 Going Ready Or Not Harry Patch's Love Child Irish Rover JoeRam Only Fools & Corpses Perish, The Thought Scottish Squid Bricklaying Alamo Volunteers Sometimes They Come Back Stephen Hawking's Football Boots Tentoesup The Beatles Are Dying In The Wrong Order The Conqueror Worm The O'Shannon Wee J's Man Tomb It May Concern You're Not Breathing Anymore

Jourdan, Louis Born 19 June 1919  (Marseille, France) French actor in a number of US & UK movies, including "Octopussy". Just One More Death... Lt. Columbo I’m Ready For My Funeral Mr. DeMille Pool Ghoul You're Not Acting Like Yourself Today -- Are You Dead?

Joya, Malalai Born 25 April 1978  (Farah, Afghanistan) Member of the Afghan parliament, noted for her hostility towards whom she considers warlords and war criminals in the parliament. Only Fools & Corpses

Juan Carlos Of Spain, King Born 5 January 1938  (Rome, Italy) King of Spain since 1975. One Less Bullet Come The Revolution

Judt, Tony  Born 2 January 1948  (London, England) Died 6 August 2010  (New York City, New York, USA) Age at death: 62  (read death notice) British historian. Going Green Going Underground

Julius Norwich, John Born 15 September 1929  (Oldham, Lancashire, England) Historian, TV broadcaster & travel writer, son of politician Duff Cooper. Bloody Dead Rep

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