Celebrity picks for Derby Dead Pool 2010: K

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Kabila, Joseph Born 4 June 1971  (Hewa Bora, Fizi, DR of Congo) President of the Democratic Republic of Congo since 2001, following the assassination of his father. Just Die Will You Stoke Up The Furnace I Shan't Be Long

Kalashnikov, Mikhail Born 10 November 1919  (Kurya, Siberia, Russia) Military engineer who designed the the AK-47 assault rifle which has become synonymous with his name. In 2004, he began marketing his own brand of vodka; the two products perhaps don't make the best of bedfellows. Club Carp Dave's Bungalow Of Death Deathglam Industries Death Stalks United Feng Shui Pig First You're Born, Life Is Hard, Then You Die Globaltruth Just Die Will You Kennedy Driving School Lt. Colonel Kilgore's Ultimate Surf Party Moving The Goalposts Tag You're Out The Grey Horde ...the Salmon Mousse!!! The Vyrdolak We'reAllGonnaDie!

Kaltenbrunner, Gerlinde Born 13 December 1970  (Kirchdorf an der Krems, Austria) Austrian mountaineer. Climbed all the great peaks bar K2 and Everest, the girl. I Can't Believe I Ate The Whole Thing

Kam, Søren Born 2 November 1921  (Copenhagen, Denmark) Danish-born SS officer and member of the Danish Nazi Party until their dissolution in 1945. German citizen since 1956. Exnazis

Kanarek, Irving Born 12 May 1920  (Seattle, Washington, USA) Lawyer who represented Charles Manson in the Tate-LaBianca murder trial. Pooil Vaaish

Karadzic, Radovan Born 19 June 1945  (Petnijca, Savnik, Montenegro) Former Serbian leader, indicted for war crimes in 2009. Better Late Than Never I'll Pick 'Em Till They Croak Forgotten But Not Gone

Karle, Jerome Born 18 June 1918  (New York City, New York, USA) American physical chemist, who won the Nobel Prize for Chemistry in 1985. Nobel Losers

Karzai, Hamid Born 24 December 1957  (Kandahar, Afghanistan) Pashtun leader whose anti-Soviet, anti-Taliban views persuaded the Americans to install him as leader of Afghanistan's interim government in December 2001. Much more importantly, he has won praise from the Gucci fashion house for his trademark green coat and rather funky ceremonial hat, which he made himself from his own facial hair. Ambledown Circling The Drain Death Is Not The End Eddie's Parade Of Darkness And Despair Knowing My Luck I'll Reincarnate As A Mayfly Again! Lady Gone-Gone's Poker Fatalities The Pale Rider Team Rumsfeld Toasted Brown Bread

Kasem, Casey Born 27 April 1932  (Detroit, Michigan, USA) Radio & TV presenter & disc jockey of Lebanese descent. Team Rumsfeld

Kasparov, Garry Born 13 April 1963  (Baku, Azerbaijan) Retired former world chess champion, who has now entered the dangerous world of Russian politics, opposing Vladimir Putin. H5N1

Katona, Kerry Born 6 September 1980  (Warrington, Cheshire, England) Former topless model and member of Atomic Kitten who admitted to never having sung a note on any of the band's hits. Now a divorced mother of two in her mid-20s, the vacuous, talentless bint amazingly has the gall to hold herself up as a role model for young women. Oh, and she urges parents to feed their kids on processed "ADHD in a Box" ready meals from Iceland. Betterdeadthanred  Corpse Bride Creamation For The Nation Dead But Not Forgotten Deader Than A Dead Thing Dead Fellas Dead Spotters  Deathglam Industries Dignitas Clinicians Don't Eat The Figs  Dr Death's Diabolical Dice Of Doom Eddie's Parade Of Darkness And Despair Expiry Date 2010 First Time Failures Here Today, Gone Tomorrow? Hippoposthumous Kentucky Fried Genocide Killermoon Last Train To Palookaville Les Trompettes De La Mort Maybe Poppin' Their Clogs Northern Foxiles Phinious Fog Prunella Vulgaris Satans Little Helper  Seasideessexxile See You In Hell Stoke Up The Furnace I Shan't Be Long The O'Shannon Wee J's Man Oh, What A Beautiful Mourning! Why Live To 50? WinR.I.P.

Kaufman, Sir Gerald Born 21 June 1930  (Leeds, Yorkshire, England) Creepy & dour former Labour party MP, former shadow foreign & home secretary. Dead Commons

Kaunda, Kenneth Born 28 April 1924  (Chinsali, Zambia) President of Zambia from 1964-91. Annus Horribilis Globaltruth Happy Death Day To You Pining For The Fjords

Kay, Jay Born 30 December 1969  (Stretford, Lancashire, England) Lead singer and songwriter with the acid jazz pop band Jamiroquai. Known for his headgear and love of fast cars. Well You're Dead Now And That's The End Of It

Keach, Stacy Born 2 June 1941  (Savannah, Georgia, USA) Film actor who never quite became the big star he had the potential to be. Was jailed in Britain in 1984 for smuggling cocaine into the country. Can't Sleep, Clown Will Eat Them

Keane, Moss  Born 27 July 1948  (Currow, Kerry, Republic of Ireland) Died 5 October 2010  (Portarlington, County Laois, Republic of Ireland) Age at death: 62  (read death notice) Former Irish international rugby player. 'arry-Kiri Drunkasaskunk Ethnic Cleansing

Keeble, Vic Born 25 June 1930  (Colchester, Essex, England) Footballer, one of the team that won the FA Cup for Newcastle United in 1955. Ball Kicking Bucket Kickers

Kelly, David Born 11 July 1929  (Dublin, Republic of Ireland) Irish actor. Played Michael O'Sullivan in the 1998 comedy hit "Waking Ned" (aka "Waking Ned Devine"), and O'Reilly, the cowboy builder in "Fawlty Towers". Dr Shipman's Waiting Room Living In A Box Say Hello To The Angels The Blue And White Reaper

Kelly, Frank Born 28 December 1938  (Dublin, Republic of Ireland) Feck! Arse! Girls! The actor behind Father Jack Hackett from "Father Ted". Coffin It Up Daniel Faraday's Notebook Lard Bazaar On The Box/In The Box Ready Doddery Gone!! Scottish Squid Bricklaying Alamo Volunteers The Dead Certs

Kelly, Gary Born 3 August 1966  (Fulwood, Lancashire, England) Former goalkeeper for Bury & Oldham, brother of fellow goalkeeper Alan. Kelly announced in 2007 that he had cancer. Master Mind They Think It's All Over. It Is Now.....

Kendall, Kenneth Born 7 August 1924  (India) Newsreader and "Treasure Hunt" presenter. Bloody Dead Rep Cut Price Funerals Here's The News...your Dead!  Rob's Racing Certs

Kennedy, George Born 18 February 1925  (New York, New York, USA) Tall, well-built bit-part actor who has been in over 100 films and 50 TV programmes, but, somewhat depressingly for him, remains best known as Leslie Nielsen's police squad sidekick in the three Naked Gun movies. Erith Sickos Just Die Will You

Kennedy, Michael Born 19 February 1926  (Chorlton-cum-Hardy, Manchester, England) Music critic, biographer & journalist, mainly on classical music. VSBfromH

Kennedy, Ray Born 28 July 1951  (Seaton Delaval, Northumberland, England) Former Liverpool and England footballer, now suffering from Parkinson's Disease. Cut Price Funerals I Drink Your Milkshake They Think It's All Over. It Is Now.....

Kennedy, Sarah Born 8 July 1950  (East Grinstead, West Sussex, England) Broadcaster who first caught the nation's attention in 1981 as part of the 'Game for a Laugh' team with the late Jeremy Beadle. Now on Radio 2, becoming increasingly tired and emotional on the airwaves, allegedly... Radio Ga Ga Gone

Kennedy Smith, Jean Born 20 February 1928  (Boston, Massachusetts, USA) US Ambassador to Ireland from 1993 to 1998. The only surviving child of Joseph Kennedy from that remarkable family. Darling Did You Forget To Take A Breath?

Kent, Barbara Born 16 December 1906  (Gasby, Alberta, Canada) Actress in 1920s and '30s silent movies. The Hartlepool Harbingers Gray Panthers The End of the World As We Know It Win One For The Dead Worm Farmer

Kent, Duchess of Born 22 February 1933  (Hovingham Hall, Worsley, Yorkshire, England) Katharine Lucy Mary Windsor - married to (unsurprisingly) the Duke of Kent, who is the Queen's cousin. Stop Coughin' Or I'll Put You In One!

Képíró, Dr Sándor Born 18 February 1914  (Hungary) Man suspected of carrying out atrocities on Jewish and Roma Hungarians in World War II. Born 1914. Hippoposthumous

Kermode, Sir Frank  Born 29 November 1919  (Douglas, Isle of Man) Died 17 August 2010  (Cambridge, England) Age at death: 90  (read death notice) Manx-born literary critic. Pooil Vaaish

Kerr, Bill Born in Cape Town, South Africa  (exact date unknown) South Africa-born Australian actor still best known for his role as Bill in 'Hancock's Half Hour'. Born 1922. Down Under The Daisies See You In Heaven

Kerry, John Born 11 December 1943  (Aurora, Colarado, USA) Former Vietnam war hero turned peacenik, who ran for President in 2004, losing to George W Bush. Now Senator for Massachusetts. Baz And Barry's Burial Bonanza

Kershner, Irvin  Born 29 April 1923  (Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA) Died 27 November 2010  (Los Angeles, California, USA) Age at death: 87  (read death notice) Film director, perhaps best known for "The Empire Strikes Back". Wretched Hive Of Scum And Villainy

Kevorkian, Dr Jack Born 26 May 1928  (Pontiac, Michigan, USA) Leading proponent of voluntary euthanasia. There'd be a certain irony if he got the chance to try it out for himself this year... Ash Cream A Taste Of Thursday Afternoon Circling The Drain Dress re-Hearse-als Lard Bazaar Let Us Embalm You Morbid United FC Noah Reason And The Youth In Asia One Bar Gas Fire And A Tin Of Dog Food Truth Be Told, I'm Feeling A Bit Under The Weather!!

Khamenei, Ayatollah Ali Born 17 July 1939  (Mashhad, Iran) Former President of Iran, and current Supreme Leader, since 1989. David the Aspie I Drink Your Milkshake Killermoon STAB_in_the_DARK

Khan, Abdul Qadeer Born 1 April 1936  (Bhopal, India) Controversial scientist, the founder of Pakistan's nuclear programme & a national hero. Under house arrest since 2004, he is also fighting cancer. I Smell Dead People

Khan, Imran Born 25 November 1952  (Lahore, Pakistan) Former Pakistani cricketer, turned media celebrity, turned socialite, turned politician, turned arch-enemy of President Musharraf! Death Is Not The End The Final Whistle

Khodorkovsky, Mikhail Born 26 June 1963  (Moscow, Russia) Former multi-billionaire who after falling foul of the Russian Government found himself jailed in 2005 & is still languishing in a prison camp, with most of his fortune gone. ...the Salmon Mousse!!!

Khorana, Har Gobind Born 9 January 1922  (Raipur, Punjab, India) Molecular biologist & Nobel Prize winner in 1968. Nobel Losers

Kidder, Margot Born 17 October 1948  (Yellowknife, Northwest Territories, Canada) Actress, probably best known for her role as Lois Lane in the Superman films of the 1980s. Return To Sender

Kidman, Nicole Born 20 June 1967  (Honolulu, Hawaii, USA) Australian actress in films since the 1980s & one of Hollywood's top draw-stars. Also, according to the team who picked her, a slag. Nicole Kidman Is A Slag

Kilminster, Ian Born 24 December 1945  (Stoke-on-Trent, Staffordshire, England) Warty-faced rocker Lemmy out of Motorhead. Redmyst

Kimball, George Born 20 December 1943  (Grass Valley, California, USA) American sportswriter, most notably in boxing. And My Name Is Larry! A Pelican In The Wilderness The Living End The Unspiritualist

King, B. B. Born 16 September 1925  (Itta Bena, Mississippi, USA) American blues guitarist and songwriter. One of King's trademarks is naming his guitars "Lucille", a tradition that began in the 1950s. Ash Cream Bazzilliant The Hartlepool Harbingers Death Stalks United Dignitas Clinicians Billy Graham Must Die Mikemcfly Seasideessexxile See You In Heaven Stoke Up The Furnace I Shan't Be Long Team USA/Asia Alliance They Are Never Gonna Make It ZZ Topped

King, Ben E. Born 28 September 1938  (Henderson, North Carolina, USA) Singer & songwriter, best known for his song "Stand By Me". Snort The Ashes

King, Claude Born 5 February 1923  (Keithville, Louisiana, USA) American country singer and songwriter. Garf Wants You To Die

King, Jonathan Born 9 December 1944  (Godalming, Surrey, England) Musician and TV presenter who was sentenced to 7 years in jail in 2001 for sexually abusing teenage boys. Annus Horribilis

King, Larry Born 19 November 1933  (Brooklyn, New York, USA) American broadcaster, who hosts a world-famous chat show on CNN. Born Lawrence Harvey Zieger. 1 Dead In Ohio 2 Sick Not 2 Quit Deadpoolers I'll Get The Oven On Mikemcfly Noz4news Say Hi To Uncle George Team Rumsfeld The Incontinentals

King, Patsy Born in Melbourne, Australia  (exact date unknown) Actress, in many a TV show in Australia, including Prisoner: Cell Block H. Born 1929. Drop Dead Celebration

King, Stephen Born 21 September 1947  (Portland, Oregon, USA) Horror writer - 'Carrie', 'The Shining', 'It', 'Misery' etc. Betterdeadthanred

Kinmont Boothe, Jill Born 16 February 1936  (Los Angeles, California, USA) Alpine skier who was paralysed from the neck down after an accident when she was 19. Now an accomplished artist and the subject of two films. Nosoup4u!

Kinnear, Joe Born 27 December 1946  (Dublin, Republic of Ireland) Former Tottenham & Ireland footballer, before becoming a very outspoken, but not particulary successful manager. Cut Price Funerals Finbarr Returns From The Dead FC The Mortal Portal

Kiser, Terry Born 1 August 1939  (Omaha, Nebraska, USA) Actor in numerous TV show & films - including Bernie in "Weekend at Bernie's" & HG Wells in "Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman". Weakend At Bernies

Kissinger, Henry Born 23 May 1923  (Fürth, Germany) Secretary of State in the US government under Presidents Nixon and Ford. Shared the 1973 Nobel Peace Prize for helping to broker a ceasefire in Vietnam - ironic, given that he'd been part of the government that started the war in the first place. Dead Beats Deadly Deathwatch Gary Glitter - Baby Sitter Lead, Follow ... And Die This Year Oh...If Only It Were True Riding The Jesus Train Rob's Racing Certs Seasideessexxile We'reAllGonnaDie! "You Can't Die If You're Already Dead, Darling"

Klein, Lawrence R. Born 14 September 1920  (Omaha, Nebraska, USA) Economicist. Nobel Losers

Klugman, Jack Born 27 April 1922  (Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA) TV actor, best known as Oscar Madison in 'The Odd Couple' and the eponymous Dr Quincy in 'Quincy'. Had part of his larynx removed in the mid-1990s as a result of throat cancer. 2 Sick Not 2 Quit Circling The Drain Dr Death's Diabolical Dice Of Doom Erith Sickos Falling Off The Pearch A Dead Flange In Time Scores 9 Former Scream Star Gwynhafyr Heads In A Bag I Can't Believe I Ate The Whole Thing I'll Get The Oven On Laughter Kills  Lived So Lets Die No Penalties, It's Sudden Death! Not At All Well One Bar Gas Fire And A Tin Of Dog Food Roger Mortis Stoke Up The Furnace I Shan't Be Long The Dead Certs Widnes Vikings "You Can't Die If You're Already Dead, Darling"

Knatchbull, Patricia Born 14 February 1924  (London, England) 2nd Countess Mountbatten of Burma, 1st cousin of Phil the Greek. Food For Worms One Less Bullet Come The Revolution

Knievel, Robbie Born 7 May 1962  (Butte, Montana, USA) Son of the legendary daredevil Evel Knievel. Picktons Pork Pies

Knowles, William Standish Born 1 June 1917  (Taunton, Massachusetts, USA) US Chemist who won the Nobel Prize in 2001. Nobel Losers

Knox, Amanda Born 9 July 1987  (Seattle, Washington, USA) Convicted murderer, jailed for 26 years for the murder of Meredith Kercher, a British student in 2009. Rude Kid

Knox, Barbara Born 30 September 1933  (Oldham, Lancashire, England) Rita Bates/Sullivan/Fairclough in Coronation Street, a role she has played, on & off, since 1964. Death Can Be Funny I'm Nearly 80 And I'm A Sicko  TheAssassinsCreed

Knox, Elyse Born 14 December 1917  (Hartford, Connecticut, USA) Hollywood actress from the 1940s. Garf Wants You To Die

Koch, Ed Born 12 December 1924  (The Bronx, New York, USA) Former Mayor of New York City between 1978 & 1989. Dead Fellas

Kohl, Helmut Born 3 April 1930  (Ludwigshafen am Rhein, Germany) Former Chancellor of Germany between 1982 & 1998. Now drags his enormous bulk around the world attending state functions. Short Distance Clara Deathpig Falling Off The Pearch Kackers United Lt. Colonel Kilgore's Ultimate Surf Party The Grey Horde Tomb Raiders

Kohn, Walter Born 9 March 1923  (Vienna, Austria) Nobel Prize winning theoretical phycisist. Garf Wants You To Die

Koirala, Girija Prasad  Born 20 February 1925  (Tadi, Bihar, India) Died 20 March 2010  (Kathmandu, Nepal) Age at death: 85  (read death notice) Four times Prime Minister of Nepal. I Drink Your Milkshake

Kongos, John Born 6 August 1945  (Johannesburg, South Africa) Singer-songwriter who hit the charts in 1971 with 'He's Gonna Step On You Again', which was later covered by The Happy Mondays. Two Hit Wonders

Kony, Joseph Born 18 September 1962  (Odek, Gulu, Uganda) Leader of the Lord's Resistance Army in Uganda. The list of his crimes are horrific but he simply says he is following "God's will" as all his work is based on The Ten Commandments. Can't remember the Commandment at Sunday School that 'thou shalt rape female children & take them as your wives', but I DO remember "Thou shalt not kill" was one of the big ones. Hmmm...… See You In Hell ...the Salmon Mousse!!!

Koshiba, Masatoshi Born 19 September 1926  (Toyohashi, Aichi Prefecture, Japan) Japanese physicist who won the Nobel Prize in Physics in 2002. Les Trompettes De La Mort

Kowalski, Józef Born 2 February 1900  (Poland) The last survivor of the Polish-Russian War of 1919-21. Themankini.com

Kübler, Ferdinand Born 24 July 1919  (Marthalen, Andelfingen, Switzerland) Cyclist, winner of the 1950 Tour de France. Drunkasaskunk Tomb Raiders

Kumar, Dilip Born 11 December 1922  (Peshawar, India) Indian film actor turned politician. Dead Certainties

Kupferberg, Tuli  Born 28 September 1923  (New York City, New York, USA) Died 12 July 2010  (New York City, New York, USA) Age at death: 86  (read death notice) Countercultural poet and publisher, also co-founder of 1960s psych-rock group The Fugs. R.I.P. It Up And Start Again

Kutcher, Ashton Born 7 February 1978  (Cedar Rapids, Iowa, USA) Actor, currently married to Demi Moore. Why Live To 50?

Kyi, Aung San Suu Born 19 June 1945  (Rangoon, Burma (now Myanmar)) Burmese pro-democracy activist. Nobel Loserettes

Kyle, Jack Born 10 February 1926  (Belfast, Northern Ireland) Irish Rugby Player, legendary fly-half for Ireland & the British Lions. Later worked as a medical practitioner in Zambia. Canadian Paul Daniel Faraday's Notebook Morbid United FC

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