Celebrity picks for Derby Dead Pool 2009: K

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Kabila, Joseph Born 4 June 1971  (Hewa Bora, Fizi, Democratic Republic of Congo) President of the Democratic Republic of Congo since 2001, following the assassination of his father. Die, Die, Die My Darling H5N1 Just Die Will You

Kalashnikov, Mikhail Born 10 November 1919  (Kurya, Siberia) Military engineer who designed the the AK-47 assault rifle which has become synonymous with his name. In 2004, he began marketing his own brand of vodka; the two products perhaps don't make the best of bedfellows. Bodybag Club Carp Dancing Elephants Deathglam Industries Death Stalks United Dr Shipman's Waiting Room First You're Born, Life Is Hard, Then You Die Just Die Will You My Toes Are Real People The Mortuary Posse ...the Salmon Mousse!!! We'reAllGonnaDie!

Kallen, Kitty Born 25 May 1922  (Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA) Big band singer of the 1940s & 1950s, but whose star has waned since then. Dancing Elephants

Kamprad, Ingvar Born 30 March 1926  (Ljungby, Sweden) Founder of IKEA, the furniture store. Heaven Knows They're Miserable Now

Kapoor, Shammi Born 21 October 1931  (Mumbai, India) Bollywood film star - very popular in the 1950's & 1960's. Mr C

Karadzic, Radovan Born 19 June 1945  (Petnijca, Savnik, Montenegro) Former Serbian leader, now on trial at the Hague for war crimes after being captured in 2008. But I'm Not Dead Yet Eddie's Parade Of Darkness And Despair Forgotten But Not Gone

Karimov, Islom Born 30 January 1938  (Samarkand, Uzbekistan) Current President of Uzbekistan. Finbarr Returns From The Dead

Karle, Jerome Born 18 June 1918  (New York City, New York, USA) American physical chemist, who won the Nobel Prize for Chemistry in 1985. Nobel Losers

Karlin, Miriam Born 23 June 1925  (Hampstead, London, England) Actress in TV & film shows, probably best remembered for her role in "The Rag Trade". Octopus of Odstock

Karr, John Mark Born 11 December 1964  (Conyers, Georgia, USA) General low-life, who became briefly famous when he made a false confession regarding the unsolved murder of six-year-old JonBenét Ramsey. He didn't do that, but has done a lot of other crime. Tentoesup

Karzai, Hamid Born 24 December 1957  (Kandahar, Afghanistan) Pashtun leader whose anti-Soviet, anti-Taliban views persuaded the Americans to install him as leader of Afghanistan's interim government in December 2001. Much more importantly, he has won praise from the Gucci fashion house for his trademark green coat and rather funky ceremonial hat, which he made himself from his own facial hair. Circling The Drain Close The Casket Curlytops Dead Enders Eddie's Parade Of Darkness And Despair Four Horsemen Of The Magic Roundabout Going Underground Head For The Gates!! I Am Jack's Complete Lack Of A Pulse It's Life Jim The Pale Rider Sicksadworld The Grateful Undead This Mortal Coil

Kasem, Casey Born 27 April 1932  (Detroit, Michigan, USA) Radio & TV presenter & disc jockey of Lebanese descent. Team Rumsfeld II  Toasted Brown Bread

Kasparov, Garry Born 13 April 1963  (Baku, Azerbaijan) Retired former world chess champion, who has now entered the dangerous world of Russian politics, opposing Vladimir Putin. It's Grim Up North H5N1

Katona, Kerry Born 6 September 1980  (Warrington, Cheshire, England) Former topless model and member of Atomic Kitten who admitted to never having sung a note on any of the band's hits. Now a divorced mother of two in her mid-20s, the vacuous, talentless bint amazingly has the gall to hold herself up as a role model for young women. Oh, and she urges parents to feed their kids on processed "ADHD in a Box" ready meals from Iceland. Bananies Corpse Bride Death-Defying Force 10 To Hell H5N1 How Clean Is Your Hearse? It's Life Jim It May Be You? Now That's What I Call SIGNIFICANT 2009 Picktons Pork Pies Pop The Clog! Prunella Vulgaris Stiff As A Board The Grateful Undead As You Wave Us Goodbye

Katz, Alex Born 24 July 1927  (Brooklyn, New York, USA) Pop Art artist & sculptor. A Lost Art

Katzir, Ephraim  Born 16 May 1916  (Kiev, Ukraine) Died 30 May 2009  (Rehovot, Israel) Age at death: 93  (read death notice) Former President of Israel, between 1973 & 1979. FH Reverends

Kaufman, Sir Gerald Born 21 June 1930  (Leeds, Yorkshire, England) Creepy & dour former Labour party MP, former shadow foreign & home secretary. Dead Commons

Kaunda, Kenneth Born 28 April 1924  (Chinsali, Zambia) President of Zambia from 1964-91. Coffin It Up

Kaye, Gorden Born 7 April 1941  (Huddersfield, Yorkshire, England) UK comic actor, best remembered for being Rene Artois in "'Allo, 'Allo". Dance Of The Living Dead Dead Ringers

Kazanets, Ivan Born 12 October 1918  (Lotsmanska Kamyanka, Katerynoslav, Ukraine) Chairman of the Council of Ministers of the Ukrainian SSR (1963-65) Not Gone Yet, But Still Forgotten

Keane, Roy Born 10 August 1971  (Cork, Mayfield, Republic of Ireland) Former Man Utd & Republic of Ireland midfielder who had a turbulent spell in charge of Sunderland recently. As You Wave Us Goodbye

Kek Iew, Kang Born 17 November 1942  (Choyaot, Kampong Chen, Kampong, Cambodia) Better known as "Comrade Duch", one of the Khmer Rouge's nastiest henchmen. The Dukes Death List

Keller, Jerry Born 20 June 1937  (Fort Smith, Arkansas, USA) American singer & songwriter. One Hit Wonders

Kelly, David Born 11 July 1929  (Dublin, Republic of Ireland) Played Michael O'Sullivan in the 1998 comedy hit "Waking Ned" (aka "Waking Ned Devine"), and O'Reilly, the cowboy builder in "Fawlty Towers". Living In A Box Still Warm-Ish

Kelly, Ellsworth Born 31 May 1923  (Newburgh, New York, USA) Painter & sculptor of the Minimalistic style. A Lost Art

Kelly, Frank Born 28 December 1938  (Dublin, Republic of Ireland) Feck! Arse! Girls! The actor behind Father Jack Hackett from "Father Ted". Cooking Small Fish

Kelly, Gary Born 3 August 1966  (Fulwood, Lancashire, England) Former goalkeeper for Bury & Oldham, brother of fellow goalkeeper Alan. Kelly announced in 2007 that he had cancer. The Dukes Death List The Terry Fenwick Invitational Select XI

Kendall, Kenneth Born 7 August 1924  (India) Newsreader and "Treasure Hunt" presenter. Bloody Dead Rep Cut Price Funerals Milksnatcher Bites The Dust!!

Keneally, Thomas Born 7 October 1935  (Sydney, New South Wales, Australia) Australian playwright & author. Literary Cemetery

Kenna, Edward  Born 6 July 1919  (Hamilton, Victoria, Australia) Died 8 July 2009  (Geelong, Victoria, Australia) Age at death: 90  (read death notice) Another of the few living VC holders (until his death), won during World War 2. Milksnatcher Bites The Dust!! They All End Up Smelling The Same, Anyway

Kennedy, George Born 18 February 1925  (New York City, New York, USA) Tall, well-built bit-part actor who has been in over 100 films and 50 TV programmes, but, somewhat depressingly for him, remains best known as Leslie Nielsen's police squad sidekick in the three Naked Gun movies. Beerbutton 2 Erith Sickos Just Die Will You Kennedy Driving School Pacman VSBfromH

Kennedy, Ludovic  Born 3 November 1919  (Edinburgh, Scotland) Died 18 October 2009  (Salisbury, Wiltshire, England) Age at death: 89  (read death notice) Writer and broadcaster - former presenter of Independent Television News and regular contributor to Newsweek magazine. Konstabel Els And His Merry Harbingers Dr Shipman's Waiting Room Kurt Cobain's Trigger Finger Zombie Resurrection Impending

Kennedy, Michael Born 19 February 1926  (Chorlton-cum-Hardy, Manchester, England) Music critic, biographer & journalist, mainly on classical music. VSBfromH

Kennedy, Ray Born 28 July 1951  (Seaton Delaval, Northumberland, England) Former Liverpool and England footballer, now suffering from Parkinson's Disease. It May Be You? Dead Rancid Corpses

Kennedy, Senator Edward  Born 22 February 1932  (Brookline, Massachusetts, USA) Died 25 August 2009  (Hyannis Port, Massachusetts, USA) Age at death: 77  (read death notice) US Senator - brother of JFK and Rosemary Kennedy. 2 Sick Not 2 Quit 5 Feet And 1 To Go  AbraCadaver Alfred Lord Heinous Asadoornail  Assumed Room Temperature Bang Bang You're Dead Bestie's Boys Wheels Bloody Dead Rep Breathless In Seattle Bring On The Rigor Bronxboy422 But I'm Not Dead Yet Buzzards Canadian Paul C.A.Daver Croaker De'Ath And The Prognosticators C U Dead 2009 Darling Did You Forget To Take A Breath? David the Aspie Dead Beats Dead By Dawn Dead Centre Of England Dead Ends Deadly As Sin Till You Win Dead Man Walking Blues Dead Man's Party Deathglam Industries Deceased Hose Die Now....Die Now....Show Us You've Pegged Diet Of Worms Food For Worms  Eejit Eternity Tours Ethnic Cleansing Fallen Off The Twig Fallen Sparrow Feng Shui Pig Four Horsemen Of The Magic Roundabout From Dust To Dung Cooking Small Fish Going Green Going Underground Grassyknoll Grayson Researched To Death  You're Dead Now, So Shut Up! Heaven Knows They're Miserable Now Hunting Halos I Drink Your Milkshake Impaled On The Antlers Of Doom Irish Rover JoeRam Just Die Allready Keeper Of The Heads Kennedy Driving School  Weakend At Bernies Master Mind Mean Machine  Meet Your Maker Misers Morbid Curiosity Morbid United FC Mr C Mr. Yuck Naked Florida Gravediggers Noah Reason And The Youth In Asia No Noose Is Good Noose Noz4news Optimus Prime's Rusty Nuts People I Think Might Die In 2009 United Perish, The Thought Phreebyrd  Puzlman's Passing Picks  Riding The Jesus Train Rude Kid Say Hi To Uncle George  See, I Told You I Was Sick! Shovelful Of Dirt Sicilian Actuaries Snorkeling Inquilinekea/Simfish  Skeleton Crew STAB_in_the_DARK Tagyourout  Team Rumsfeld II The Beatles Are Dying In The Wrong Order The Conqueror Worm The Dead Certs Not Sleeping Just Bloody Dead The End of the World As We Know It Redmega's Megadead Malingerers The Last Gasp The Living End The Newstreet Boys Death Squad ...the Salmon Mousse!!! The Vyrdolak They're Dead, Y'Know! Toasted Brown Bread Today's The Day The Maggots Have Their Picnic Tomb It May Concern Tonight Matthew I'm Going To Be Badly-Torn Boy To The Other Side Wake Up & Smell The Coffin We Spin Terror Windsor The Troll Win One For The Dead Wormer, He's a Dead Man! Marmalard, Dead! Niedermeyer... Worm Farmer

Kennedy Shriver, Eunice  Born 10 July 1921  (Brookline, Massachusetts, USA) Died 11 August 2009  (Hyannis, Massachusetts, USA) Age at death: 88  (read death notice) Fifth of the nine Kennedy children, sister to John F., Robert F. and Edward M., wife of Robert Sargent Shriver, former VP candidate, and founder of the Special Olympics. Carrion Luggage Ash Cream Bitter Violet But I'm Not Dead Yet Canadian Cadaver Dogs Canadian Paul Crazycarl Dead Man Walking Blues Food For Worms Doornails R Us Hunting Halos Irish Rover JoeRam Lard Bazaar Lead, Follow ... And Die This Year Weakend At Bernies Misers Morbid United FC My Toes Are Real People No Penalties, It's Sudden Death! Perish, The Thought Riding The Jesus Train Tagyourout The Beatles Are Dying In The Wrong Order The Conqueror Worm The Last Gasp Tonight Matthew I'm Going To Be Badly-Torn Boy We Spin Terror Windsor The Troll Win One For The Dead

Kent, Barbara Born 16 December 1906  (Gasby, Alberta, Canada) Actress in 1920s and '30s silent movies. Just Die Allready Old People Smell Of Piss The End of the World As We Know It Win One For The Dead Worm Farmer

Kent, Duchess of Born 22 February 1933  (Hovingham Hall, Worsley, Yorkshire) Katharine Lucy Mary Windsor - married to (unsurprisingly) the Duke of Kent, who is the Queen's cousin. The Grateful Undead

Kent (Prince Edward), Duke of Born 9 October 1935  (Belgrave Square, London, England) The Duke of Kent since 1942, after his father was killed in an air crash. Also head of the Lawn Tennis Association & so often seen at Wimbledon. One Less Bullet Come The Revolution

Kermode, Sir Frank Born 29 November 1919  (Douglas, Isle of Man) Manx-born literary critic. Pooil Vaaish Zombie Resurrection Impending

Kevorkian, Dr Jack Born 26 May 1928  (Pontiac, Michigan, USA) Leading proponent of voluntary euthanasia. There'd be a certain irony if he got the chance to try it out for himself this year... Alfred Lord Heinous Banobo Kings Circling The Drain Death By Dumb Luck Dress re-Hearse-als Heads In A Bag Johnny Foreskin And The Pullbacks Just Die Allready  Mean Machine Morbid United FC Noah Reason And The Youth In Asia .....norfolk & Good The Last Gasp The Pale Horseman's Six Feet Undercover Brothers

Khamenei, Ayatollah Ali Born 17 July 1939  (Mashhad, Iran) Former President of Iran, and current Supreme Leader, since 1989. A Pelican In The Wilderness David the Aspie Not Sleeping Just Bloody Dead

Khan, Abdul Qadeer Born 1 April 1936  (Bhopal, India) Controversial scientist, the founder of Pakistan's nuclear programme & a national hero. Under house arrest since 2004, he is also fighting cancer. The Deadest Man In Deadonia

Khan, Imran Born 25 November 1952  (Lahore, Pakistan) Former Pakistani cricketer, turned media celebrity, turned socialite, turned politician, turned arch-enemy of President Musharraf! Redmyst XX The Final Whistle

Khodorkovsky, Mikhail Born 26 June 1963  (Moscow, Russia) Former multi-billionaire who after falling foul of the Russian Government found himself jailed in 2005 & is still languishing in a prison camp, with most of his fortune gone. Finbarr Returns From The Dead

Khorana, Har Gobind Born 9 January 1922  (Raipur, Punjab, India) Molecular biologist & Nobel Prize winner in 1968. Nobel Losers

Kibaki, Mwai Born 15 November 1931  (Gatuyiani, Nyeri, Kenya) Current President of Kenya, since 2002. Dead Cert

Kidder, Margot Born 17 October 1948  (Yellowknife, Northwest Territories, Canada) Actress, probably best known for her role as Lois Lane in the Superman films of the 1980's. Beerbutton 3 Graham Reaper's Dead Army

Kidman, Nicole Born 20 June 1967  (Honolulu, Hawaii, USA) Australian actress in films since the 1980's & one of Hollywood's top draw-stars. Also, according to the team who picked her, a slag. Nicole Kidman Is A Slag

Kiel, Richard Born 13 September 1939  (Detroit, Michigan, USA) Absurdly tall (7'2") actor who played steel-toothed baddie Jaws in the James Bond films 'The Spy Who Loved Me' and 'Moonraker'. Die, Die, Die My Darling Just Die Will You No, Mr Bond. I Expect You To Die! The Deadest Man In Deadonia

Kielty, Patrick Born 31 January 1971  (Dundrum, County Down, Northern Ireland) Annoying twat. Presenter & so-called "comic". Undertakertom

Kilminster, Ian Born 24 December 1945  (Stoke-on-Trent, Staffordshire, England) Warty-faced rocker Lemmy out of Motorhead. Redmyst XX

Kimball, George Born 20 December 1943  (Grass Valley, California, USA) American sportswriter, most notably in boxing. Hide And Go Die The Living End

King, B. B. Born 16 September 1925  (Itta Bena, Mississippi, USA) American blues guitarist and songwriter. One of King's trademarks is naming his guitars "Lucille", a tradition that began in the 1950s. Carrion Luggage Assumed Room Temperature Bazzilliant Death By Gough From Dust To Dung Just Die Will You Norman Tebbit's Bicycle Club Steeny You're Terminated, Farquahar

King, Ben E. Born 28 September 1938  (Henderson, North Carolina, USA) Singer & songwriter, best known for his song "Stand By Me". Snort The Ashes

King, Jonathan Born 9 December 1944  (Godalming, Surrey, England) Musician and TV presenter who was sentenced to 7 years in jail in 2001 for sexually abusing teenage boys. Dance Of The Living Dead

King, Larry Born 19 November 1933  (Brooklyn, New York, USA) American broadcaster, who hosts a world-famous chat show. 1 Dead In Ohio 2 Sick Not 2 Quit Wheels Fantaka 2009 Noz4news Say Hi To Uncle George Team Rumsfeld II Tentoesup Tick Tock Stopped Ticking

King, Patsy Born in Melbourne, Australia  (exact date unknown) Actress, in many a TV show in Australia, including Prisoner: Cell Block H. Born 1929. Drop Dead Celebration

King, Stephen Born 21 September 1947  (Portland, Oregon, USA) Horror writer - 'Carrie', 'The Shining', 'It', 'Misery' etc. I'll Sleep When You're Dead

Király, Béla  Born 14 August 1912  (Kaposvar, Hungary) Died 4 July 2009  (Budapest, Hungary) Age at death: 97  (read death notice) Hungarian military ace & historian, author & later politician in the Hungarian Parliament. Inquilinekea/Simfish

Kirchner, Leon  Born 24 January 1919  (Brooklyn, New York, USA) Died 17 September 2009  (New York City, New York, USA) Age at death: 90  (read death notice) Composer of classical music. Pure Dead Brilliant

Kirkpatrick, Don Date and place of birth unknown Guitarist, mostly in colloboration with Rod Stewart. Knowing My Luck I'll Reincarnate As A Mayfly Again!

Kirkup, James  Born 23 April 1918  (South Shields, Tyne & Wear, England) Died 10 May 2009  (Andorra la Vella, Andorra) Age at death: 91  (read death notice) Poet & travel writer. Grobler's Stiff Ones

Kiser, Terry Born 1 August 1939  (Omaha, Nebraska, USA) Actor in numerous TV show & films - including Bernie in "Weekend at Bernie's" & HG Wells in "Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman". Weakend At Bernies

Kissinger, Henry Born 23 May 1923  (Fürth, Germany) Secretary of State in the US government under Presidents Nixon and Ford. Shared the 1973 Nobel Peace Prize for helping to broker a ceasefire in Vietnam - ironic, given that he'd been part of the government that started the war in the first place. Dead Beats Go Ahead Thatch, Make My DDP Oh...If Only It Were True  Riding The Jesus Train They All End Up Smelling The Same, Anyway We'reAllGonnaDie!

Klein, Lawrence R. Born 14 September 1920  (Omaha, Nebraska, USA) Economicist. Nobel Losers

Klugman, Jack Born 27 April 1922  (Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA) TV actor, best known as Oscar Madison in 'The Odd Couple' and the eponymous Dr Quincy in 'Quincy'. Had part of his larynx removed in the mid-1990s as a result of throat cancer. 2 Sick Not 2 Quit Baz And Barry's Burial Bonanza C.A.Daver Death By Dumb Luck Erith Sickos Fallen Off The Perch Flanges Final Few The Forest Lawn Jockeys Going Ready Or Not Grassyknoll Grayson Holicaust in eternum+'s Wrinkly Dicks Lived So Lets Die One Bar Gas Fire And A Tin Of Dog Food Residentevil The Dead Certs  The Morbid Postman

Knatchbull, Patricia Born 14 February 1924  (London, England) 2nd Countess Mountbatten of Burma, 1st cousin of Phil the Greek. Food For Worms One Less Bullet Come The Revolution Stiff & the Tears

Knight, Marion 'Suge' Born 19 April 1965  (Compton, California, USA) Co-founder of rap & hip-hop label Death Row Records. Once allegedly dangled Vanilla Ice out of a seventh-storey window by his ankles; his only mistake was hauling him back in again. Sicksadworld

Knowles, Tony Born 13 June 1955  (Bolton, Lancashire, England) Snooker player, who never really gained much success in the big tournaments. 6ft Under The Baulk Line

Knox, Barbara Born 30 September 1933  (Oldham, Lancashire, England) Rita Bates/Sullivan/Fairclough in Coronation Street, a role she has played, on & off, since 1964. Six Foot Under

Knoxall, Bobby Born 24 December 1933  (London, England) Comedian, mainly a standup comic in working men's clubs & well-known in Sunderland, especially. He was occasionally on TV as well. Born in 1933, died in 2009, but no obit yet. Grobler's Stiff Ones

Knussen, Oliver Born 12 June 1952  (Glasgow, Scotland) Musical composer & conductor. Wake Up & Smell The Coffin

Koch, Ed Born 12 December 1924  (The Bronx, New York, USA) Former Mayor of New York City between 1978 & 1989. Ashes To Ashes

Kohl, Helmut Born 3 April 1930  (Ludwigshafen am Rhein, Germany) Former Chancellor of Germany between 1982 & 1998. Now drags his enormous bulk around the world attending state functions. Ashes To Ashes Short Distance Clara Fallen Off The Perch Kackers United Octopus of Odstock Stahlmatt Voted Out For Good!

Koirala, Girija Prasad Born 20 February 1925  (Tadi, Bihar, India) Four times Prime Minister of Nepal. Dead Cert Voted Out For Good!

Kolff, Willem  Born 14 February 1911  (Leiden, Netherlands) Died 11 February 2009  (Newtown Square, Pennsylvania, United States) Age at death: 97  (read death notice) Physician & inventor, mainly & heavily involved in the development of heart-lung machines. But I'm Not Dead Yet

Kony, Joseph Born 19 September 1962  (Odek, Gulu, Uganda) Leader of the Lord's Resistance Army in Uganda. The list of his crimes are horrific but he simply says he is following "God's will" as all his work is based on The Ten Commandments. Can't remember the Commandment at Sunday School that 'thou shalt rape female children & take them as your wives', but I DO remember "Thou shalt not kill" was one of the big ones. Hmmm...… A Pelican In The Wilderness The Newstreet Boys Death Squad ...the Salmon Mousse!!!

Koop, Dr C. Everett Born 14 October 1916  (Brooklyn, New York, USA) Surgeon General of the United States from 1982-89, under Ronald Reagan's presidency. Pure Dead Brilliant Team Rumsfeld II

Korchnoi, Viktor Born 23 May 1931  (St. Petersburg, Russia) Chess Grandmaster, still playing. Now of Swiss citizenship. Hurry Up Please, You'll Be Late

Kozulin, Aleksander Born 25 November 1955  (Minsk, Belarus) Leader of one of Belarus' main opposition parties - an admirable, but not a particulary safe job, due to President Lukashenko's hard-line regime. Dr Death's Diabolical Dice Of Doom

Kraft Jr., Christopher Born 28 February 1924  (Phoebus, Virginia, USA) Former NASA flight director & director of the Johnson Space Center. You Mean He's Not Already?

Kraus, Paul Born 27 June 1944  (St. Polten, Austria) Author who having survived malignant mesothelioma since 1997, has written books about it & how other cancer patients should forget conventional therapies for traditional medicine. Konstabel Els And His Merry Harbingers

Kravchuk, Leonid Born 10 January 1934  (Rivne Oblast, Ukraine) Former President of the Ukraine between 1991 & 1994. You Mean He's Not Already?

Kucinich, Dennis Born 8 October 1946  (Cleveland, Ohio, USA) Presidental candidate for the Democrats in 2004 & 2008 & politician, a member of the US House of Representatives for Ohio. Ohio And Goodbye-O

Kudayev, Rasul Born 23 January 1984  (Prohladsk, Kabardino-Balkaria, Russia) Former inmate of Guantanamo Bay detention camp, held under (but later released) terrorist charges. You Must Be Croaking!

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