Celebrity picks for Derby Dead Pool 2009: J

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Jackson, Glenda Born 9 May 1936  (Birkenhead, Cheshire, England) Former actress, now Labour MP for Hampstead & Highgate. Lord Gravedigger

Jackson, Janet Born 16 May 1966  (Gary, Indiana, USA) Sister of Michael. Successful singer & actress, who is one of the top-selling female artists despite a well-publicised "wardrobe malfunction" when her tits (or one of them) were out for the lads & 100 million other people during the half-time live performance of the 2004 Super Bowl. Picktons Pork Pies

Jackson, Jesse Born 8 October 1941  (Greenville, South Carolina, USA) Controversial politician & civil rights activist, as well as a Baptist minister. Time's Up My Son

Jackson, Michael  Born 29 August 1958  (Gary, Indiana, USA) Died 25 June 2009  (Los Angeles, California, USA) Age at death: 50  (read death notice) Once a cute kid in a group with his brothers, then a hugely successful pop star in his own right, but was a flaky-faced, monkey-loving, baby-dangling, allegedly kiddie-fiddling one-man freak show in his later years. His death, at 50, however was still a huge shock to everyone. 5 Feet And 1 To Go Armchair Morgue Bring On The Rigor  Buzzards Canadian Cadaver Dogs Colin's Toe Curlers Corpse Bride Darling Did You Forget To Take A Breath? Dead As A Dodo Diet Of Worms Drop Dead Celebration Eddie's Parade Of Darkness And Despair Erith Sickos Evil Shape-Changing Pixies Feng Shui Pig Gwynhafyr  Here Today, Gone Tomorrow? I Am Jack's Complete Lack Of A Pulse I Kissed A Corpse And I Liked It I'll Pick 'Em Till They Croak I'll Sleep When You're Dead It Doesn't Hurt It Just Smells It's Life Jim Lead, Follow ... And Die This Year Mr & Mrs Drummerboy Nicole Kidman Is A Slag  Northern Foxiles Now That's What I Call SIGNIFICANT 2009 Owt To Stop Me Coffin? Picktons Pork Pies Roadkill Wombats Rotters Siegfried Baboon's Simian Shapeshifting Showboat Show Inquilinekea/Simfish Six Foot Under Sleep Tight Sqwidge's Motley Crew Stokes's Stiffs The Caulkhead Coffin-Kickers The Misfortune Tellers The Norman Bates Fan Club Time's Up My Son Wasn't It From A Dirty Harry Film? You're Dead And You Know You Are

Jackson, Samuel L Born 21 December 1948  (Washington, District of Columbia, USA) Award winning actor, with a whole string of hit films to his credit in the last three decades. Prunella Vulgaris

Jacob, Francois Born 17 June 1920  (Nancy, France) Nobel Prize winner in Medicine in 1965, a feted biologist. Nobel Losers

Jacobi, Derek Born 22 October 1938  (Leytonstone, London, England) Actor, mostly on stage, but with notable TV & film credits as well. in eternum+'s Wrinkly Dicks Sqwidge's Motley Crew

Jacobs, David Born 19 May 1926  (London, England) Veteran disc jockey & former television presenter, former Eurovision commentator for the BBC. The Funeral Director 09

Jaffee, Al Born 13 March 1921  (Savannah, Georgia, USA) Cartoonist with MAD magazine since 1955. Features include the back cover fold-in and "Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions". Soylent Dreams

Jagannathan, Sankaralingam Born in Tamil Nadu, India  (exact date unknown) Born in 1912. Civil rights activist, recipient of the Right Livelihood Award 2008 Not Gone Yet, But Still Forgotten

Jagger, Mick Born 26 July 1943  (Dartford, Kent, England) Rubber-lipped lead singer of the Rolling Stones. Curlytops Pop The Clog!

Jamelia Born 11 January 1981  (Smethwick, West Midlands, England) British singer, real name Jamelia Davis. Dead Keyne II: D Is For Davis...and Dead!

James, Clifton Born 29 May 1921  (New York City, New York, USA) Actor, Sheriff J.W. Pepper in two James Bond movies. Club Carp Dead By Dawn Fritzl's Dead Certs It May Be You? No, Mr Bond. I Expect You To Die!

James, Clive Born 7 October 1939  (Kogarah, Sydney, New South Wales, Australia) TV critic, writer & author who thinks he is far far funnier than he actually is. Lived So Lets Die The Jim Reapers

James, Etta Born 25 January 1938  (Los Angeles, California, USA) Blues and R&B star. Best known for her 1961 ballad "At Last". Born Jamesetta Hawkins. The Jim Reapers

James, LeBron Born 30 December 1984  (Akron, Ohio, USA) Basketball player in the NBA Deadly As Sin Till You Win

James, P. D. Born 3 August 1920  (Oxford, England) Author of mystery novels. Addams Family Christmas Card List 2008 Bodybag Dave's Bunglalow Of Death Death Shall Have No Dominion - Oh Yes It Will in eternum+'s Wrinkly Dicks Literary Cemetery The Jim Reapers

Jameson, Derek Born 29 November 1929  (London, England) One of those people that the great unwashed general public thought died years ago but is still alive & well (so far, anyway). Former journalist, turned broadcaster - a frequent guest on "Countdown". The Dukes Death List VSBfromH

Jane, Bob Born 18 December 1929  (Brunswick, Melbourne, Australia) Former touring car racing driver, but better known, in Australia anyway, as a businessman. Mr & Mrs Drummerboy

Janis, Byron Born 24 March 1928  (McKeesport, Pennsylvania, USA) American classical pianist. Carolann's Coffin Compadres

Janner, Greville Born 11 July 1928  (Cardiff, Wales) Former MP for Leicester between 1970 & 1997. Dead Commons

Jansch, Bert Born 3 November 1943  (Glasgow, Scotland) Folk singer & songwriter. Nefarious Skullduggery

Jaruzelski, General Wojciech Born 6 July 1923  (Kurow, Poland) Joined the Polish army during WWII, and turned to politics in the 1960s. Rose through the ranks of the Communist Party to become National Secretary (President of Poland in all but name) in 1981, just as the Solidarity movement was heating up. Pitted his trademark sunglasses against Lech Walesa's moustache and lost. Removed from office in 1990, but has been too unwell to face trial ever since. Feng Shui Pig Octopus of Odstock Pooil Vaaish The Conqueror Worm The End of the World As We Know It

Jason, David Born 2 February 1940  (Edmonton, London, England) Comedy actor, best known as Granville in 'Open All Hours' and Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter in 'Only Fools and Horses'. Even after a decade, it's still hard not to smirk at his supposedly serious role as Detective Inspector Jack Frost in 'A Touch of Frost'. Billy Dodds Knew II

Jean I of Luxembourg, Grand Duke Born 5 January 1921  (Berg Castle, Luxembourg) Ruler of Luxembourg from 1964 to 2000. It May Be You? Lord Football One Less Bullet Come The Revolution

Jeffries, Lionel Born 10 June 1926  (London, England) Actor who specialised in playing stereotypical eccentric English gentlemen, such as Grandpa Potts in "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang". 2 Days Older Than Grass Dave's Dead, Aye Dead Drunk Jellydead Trojan Hearse The Funeral Director 09

Jelinek, Elfriede Born 20 October 1946  (Mürzzuschlag, Styria, Austria) Austrian feminist playwright & novelist. Wep 2.0 - World's Eternity Prophet Reloaded

Jenkins, Right Rev. David Born 26 January 1925  (Bromley, Kent, England) Hugely controversial former Bishop of Durham. Diepod Shuffle

Jillian, Ann Born 29 January 1950  (Cambridge, Massachusetts, USA) US actress. Survived breast cancer in the 1980s. Harry Patch's Love Child

Jobs, Steve Born 24 February 1955  (San Francisco, California, USA) Co-founder of Apple Computers and Pixar. It's Grim Up North 2 Sick Not 2 Quit  Alfred Lord Heinous Alison The Assassin Bodybags'R'Us Busby's Babes Clathrate Gun Cut Price Funerals Dead Ends Eddie's Parade Of Darkness And Despair  Ethnic Cleansing Fallen Off The Twig Fallen Sparrow Cooking Small Fish Harry Patch's Love Child How Clean Is Your Hearse? Hunting Halos I'll Get The Oven On Keeper Of The Heads Kurt Cobain's Trigger Finger Misers Mr C Noah Reason And The Youth In Asia Nobody Gets Out Of Here Alive  Now That's What I Call SIGNIFICANT 2009 Phreebyrd Roadkill Wombats Say Hi To Uncle George Sicilian Actuaries Snorkeling Tagyourout The Beatles Are Dying In The Wrong Order The Delightful Dead  The Last Gasp The Newstreet Boys Death Squad ThePoitouTeam The Vyrdolak  They're Dead, Y'Know! Valley of Death Wishy-Washy Wormer, He's a Dead Man! Marmalard, Dead! Niedermeyer... You Keep Hanging On

Johansson, Ingemar  Born 22 September 1932  (Gothenburg, Sweden) Died 30 January 2009  (Onsala, Sweden) Age at death: 76  (read death notice) Former world heavyweight boxing champion. Eternity Tours How Much For Those Stem Cells? Octopus of Odstock

Johansson-Engdahl, Signe Born 27 May 1905  (Bromma, Stockholm, Sweden) Competed in the 1924 Summer Olympics & and is the oldest Olympian believed to be alive. The Vyrdolak

John, Margaret Born in Swansea, Wales  (exact date unknown) Veteran Welsh character actress who has recently found some fame to a new audience as a character in "Gavin & Stacey". Pobol Y Fedd

John, Sir Elton Born 25 March 1947  (Pinner, Middlesex, England) The most successful pop star of the 1970s, who has managed to remain more or less in the limelight ever since, despite (or perhaps because of) drug and alcohol problems, bust-ups with his lyricist Bernie Taupin, a turbulent love life and a lamentable dress sense. Bananies Deadpoolers Death Shall Have No Dominion - Oh Yes It Will The Watts Wallies

Johns, Glynis Born 5 October 1923  (Pretoria, South Africa) Husky-voiced actress (and dancer/singer), of Welsh origin, a popular actress in the 1950's. I'll Get The Oven On Pacman Stoke Up The Furnace I Shan't Be Long

Johnson, Boris Born 19 June 1964  (New York City, New York, USA) Gaffe-prone but hugely endearing Mayor of London, a former Tory MP & head of The Spectator magazine. Undertakertom

Johnson, Brian Born 5 October 1947  (Dunston, Gateshead, England) Lead singer of AC/DC. It's Tyne To Meet Your Maker

Johnson, Holly Born 19 February 1960  (Khartoum, Sudan) African-born former frontman of '80s Scouse popsters Frankie Goes To Hollywood. Was diagnosed with HIV in the late '80s, but treatment has kept it at bay ever since, and he continues to work in the music industry. 2 Days Older Than Grass Deadpoolers Sicksadworld

Johnson, Joe Born 29 June 1952  (Bradford, Yorkshire, England) Surprise winner of the 1986 snooker World Championship. Now a TV commentator. 6ft Under The Baulk Line

Johnson, John Henry Born 24 November 1929  (Waterproof, Louisiana, USA) Former American footballer, a fullback. Time's Up My Son

Johnson, Magic Born 14 August 1959  (Lansing, Michigan, USA) HIV-positive former basketball player. Corpse Bride It May Be You? Time's Up My Son Wawix World

Johnson, Russell Born 10 November 1924  (Ashley, Pennsylvania, USA) Actor, in numerous shows & films, but remembered in the US for his role in "Gilligan's Island". Grim McGraw Sexystf  Time's Up My Son

Johnson, Teddy Born 4 September 1920  (Surbiton, Surrey, England) Variety star, a singer, along with his wife Pearl Carr, who were big in the 50's, but have now both long been forgotten about. A Rattly Score Of Old Puffins

Johnson Jr, Ernie Born 5 November 1956  (Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA) American sports broadcaster, currently fighting cancer. Jims Deadbeats

Jolie, Angelina Born 4 June 1975  (Los Angeles, California, USA) Lara Croft actress. Burn Baby Burn

Jones, Alan Born 13 April 1941  (Oakey, Queensland, Australia) Australian rugby coach, a former player & current broadcaster. The Beatles Are Dying In The Wrong Order

Jones, Freddie Born 17 August 1927  (Stoke-on-Trent, Staffordshire, England) Actor, currently in Emmerdale & has been on TV for aeons. If I'm Spared Myself, Of Course

Jones, Glyn Born in Durban, South Africa  (exact date unknown) Former story editor on the Dr. Who shows. Time's Champion

Jones, Jack  Born 29 January 1913  (Liverpool, England) Died 21 April 2009  (Peckham, London, England) Age at death: 96  (read death notice) Militant trade union leader and former General Secretary of the Transport and General Workers' Union (TGWU). Instrumental in buggering up the British motor industry in the 1970s beyond the point of redemption. A Rattly Score Of Old Puffins Coffin It Up

Jones, Jennifer  Born 2 March 1919  (Tulsa, Oklahoma, USA) Died 17 December 2009  (Malibu, California, USA) Age at death: 90  (read death notice) Actress, former wife of film mogul David O. Selznick, whose career blossomed under his tutelage & effectively ended with his death in 1965. Eternity Tours Auditioning For Oscar's "in Memoriam" Montage Pure Dead Brilliant

Jones, Johnny 'Lam' Born 4 April 1958  (Lawton, Oklahoma, USA) Former athlete and American Football player, won a gold medal at the 1976 Olympics. Clathrate Gun

Jones, Ken Date and place of birth unknown Founder of the National Seal Sanctuary in Cornwall, England. Actually revealed to have died in 2008, so no points. The Living End

Jones, Quincy Born 14 March 1933  (Chicago, Illinois, USA) Music composer, trumpeter, record producer & arranger, mainly of "feel-good" music. Death By Gough

Jones, Tanya Born in Hertfordshire, England  (exact date unknown) Wife of footballer-turned-actor Vinnie Jones. Had a heart transplant in the late 1980s. Born around 1963. Nice Little Urner

Jones, Terry Born 1 February 1942  (Colwyn Bay, Wales) Member of Monty Python and one of Britain's most noted historians. Beerbutton 2  The Norwegian Blues Sometimes They Come Back The Caulkhead Coffin-Kickers Trojan Hearse They Laugh In The Face Of Death Win One For The Dead Wishy-Washy

Jong-Il, Kim Born 16 February 1941  (Khabarovsk, Siberia, USSR) "Dear Leader" (a.k.a. tinpot dictator) of North Korea. Biologically Dead Curlytops Darling Did You Forget To Take A Breath? Dead Last Dead Man's Party Livin' On A Prayer Deathlist.net Drop Dead Celebration Every Shroud Has A Silver Lining Finbarr Returns From The Dead From Dust To Dung Grim Rita Hunting Halos It's Life Jim, But Not As We Know It Kackers United Misers Mr. Yuck Rigor Mortis Makes Us Hard Rude Kid Say Hi To Uncle George Tagyourout The Beatles Are Dying In The Wrong Order The Caulkhead Coffin-Kickers The Conqueror Worm  The Dead Certs The Dorset Jury The Mortuary Posse The Newstreet Boys Death Squad ...the Salmon Mousse!!! Toasted Brown Bread Valley of Death Windsor The Troll Yer Maw Used To Be Athletic

Josephson, Erland Born 15 June 1923  (Stockholm, Sweden) Swedish stage & film actor, a regular in Bergman's films. Octopus of Odstock

Jourdan, Louis Born 19 June 1919  (Marseille, France) French actor in a number of US & UK movies, including "Octopussy". Pool Ghoul Tick Tock Stopped Ticking

Joyce, Brenda  Born 25 February 1917  (Excelsior Springs, Missouri, USA) Died 4 July 2009  (Santa Monica, California, USA) Age at death: 92  (read death notice) Jane from Tarzan, one of the many to have done the role. Popping Your Clogs

Juan Carlos Of Spain, King Born 5 January 1938  (Rome, Italy) King of Spain since 1975. One Less Bullet Come The Revolution

Julius Norwich, John Born 15 September 1929  (Oldham, Lancashire, England) Historian, TV broadcaster & travel writer, son of politician Duff Cooper. Bloody Dead Rep

Jung, Kim Dae  Born 3 December 1925  (Haui-do, South Jeolla, South Korea) Died 18 August 2009  (Seoul, South Korea) Age at death: 83  (read death notice) Former President of South Korea between 1998-2003. Food For Worms

Jurinac, Sena Born 24 October 1921  (Travnic, Bosnia) Bosnian soprano opera singer. Not Gone Yet, But Still Forgotten

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