Celebrity picks for Derby Dead Pool 2005: S

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Saatchi, Charles Born 10 June 1943  (Baghdad, Iraq) Advertising tycoon and art collector. John Stalker

Salinger, J. D. (Died in 2010) Born 1 January 1919  (New York, New York, USA) Writer of (for the most part) short stories, whose only novel - "Catcher in the Rye" (1951) - is the basis of his literary reputation. The same novel was also famous as being the book that Mark Chapman was holding when he murdered John Lennon. Rumours that Salinger (who hasn't published anything since 1965) is in fact the same person as the similarly reclusive Thomas Pynchon (author of novels such as "V" and "Gravity's Rainbow", all published since 1965) are, sadly, unfounded. JD = Jack Daniels. Actually, that's not true: it's really Jerome David. Bazzilliant Cefor Certs The Conqueror Worm Toasted Brown Bread

Sallis, Peter Born 1 February 1921  (Twickenham, Middlesex, England) Comic actor who played Norman Clegg in the British TV series "Last of the Summer Wine". More recently he has provided the voice of Wallace out of "Wallace & Gromit". Juicy Janny Living In A Box Not Dead Yet Pining For The Fjords

Salvador, Henri (Died in 2008) Born 18 July 1917  (Cayenne, French Guinea) Songwriter and crooner, who has been a star attraction in France for seven decades, despite stiff competition from other top-quality French singers such as Vanessa Paradis and Johnny Hallyday. Slave to the Grave

Samaranch, Juan Antonio (Died in 2010) Born 17 July 1920  (Barcelona, Spain) Former head of the International Olympic Committee, always dogged by controversy because he had been a senior bureaucrat in Franco's fascist Spanish government. Bucket Kickers

Santo, Ron (Died in 2010) Born 25 February 1940  (Seattle, Washington, USA) Former star of the Chicago Cubs (that's baseball, for anyone who's not sure). He has suffered from diabetes his whole life (organising many fundraising activities for related charities), and has had to have both legs amputated, which is presumably why he's falling over backwards in the photo. Mr C

Saunders, Dame Cicely  Born 22 June 1918  (Barnet, Hertfordshire, England) Died 14 July 2005  (Sydenham, London, England) Age at death: 87  (read death notice) Founder of the Hospice movement, which provides care for patients with incurable diseases. Whitaker's Choice

Savident, John Born in Guernsey, Channel Islands  (exact date unknown) TV actor, plays Fred Elliott in "Coronation Street". Born 1938. B1G-5PUD

Savile, Sir Jimmy Born 30 October 1926  (Leeds, Yorkshire, England) Former DJ, presenter of "Top of the Pops", and most famously, the cigar-wielding, shellsuit-wearing presenter of his own TV show for kids, "Jim'll Fix It". Goodness gracious, goodness gracious, guys and gals, is Uncle Jimmy going to cark it this year? Cefor Certs Church(yard) On The Hill Dead Beat Dead Ringers The Doom & Gloom Room Honez Offaly Bad Taste SexyB's Goners

Scargill, Arthur Born 11 January 1938  (Worsbrough Dale, South Yorkshire, England) Former miner, Communist, and president of the National Union of Mineworkers (NUM). Fought a bitter battle of wills with Margaret Thatcher during the 1984-85 miners' strike, lost, and then founded his own political party, the Socialist Labour Party, which has had little success at the polls. Juicy Janny

Scheider, Roy (Died in 2008) Born 10 November 1932  (Orange, New Jersey, USA) Actor who started out in cheesy horror flicks before landing a starring role as police chief Martin Brody in "Jaws". Bone Collector (Dave) The Wompons

Schell, Maximilian Born 8 December 1930  (Vienna, Austria) Veteran film actor with a career spanning 50 years and an Oscar for his role in "Judgment at Nuremberg". Has diabetes, and after collapsing at a film festival in 2000, was diagnosed as suffering from acute pancreatitis as well. Godfather to Angelina Jolie. 57,288,974 Americans Are Smart

Schlesinger Jr, Arthur (Died in 2007) Born 15 October 1917  (Columbus, Ohio, USA) Historian, Pullitzer Prize-winning author, and JFK's speech writer. Dark Clouds and Silva Linings

Schmeling, Max  Born 28 September 1905  (Klein-Luckow, Brandenburg, Germany) Died 2 February 2005  (Hollenstedt, Germany) Age at death: 99  (read death notice) Heavyweight boxing champion from 1930 to 1932 (in fact for just two fights). At one stage he was close to Hitler and was happy to be regarded as an Aryan role-model; though later it seemed that matters were not so clear-cut, after it emerged that he had sheltered two Jewish teenagers in his hotel room during Kristallnacht. Managed to KO Joe Louis in 1936; but lost the 1938 rematch, which the media took to symbolise the defeat of fascism by democracy. Bleedin' Heart The Conqueror Worm Deathlist.net Dysfunctional Eat My Dust Fallen Sparrow Globaltruth In Bed With Maradona I Smell Dead People Jesus Jones Mean Machine Mr C Naked Florida Gravediggers Octopus of Odstock Offaly Bad Taste One Foot In The Grave Puzlman's Passing Picks Ready For The Box Reddmyst 20 See, I Told You I Was Sick! Simon Says 'Die, You Fools, Die' Slave to the Grave Toasted Brown Bread U The Undertaker We Spin Terror  Youth In Asia Hotline

Schmidt, Helmut Born 23 December 1918  (Hamburg, Germany) German politician from the left-of-centre SPD party. Served as Chancellor of Germany from 1974-82. Condoleezza's Harbingers of Notapotato

Scholes, Paul Born 16 November 1974  (Salford, Greater Manchester, England) Ginger Manchester United and England footballer. B1G-5PUD

Schumacher, Michael Born 3 January 1969  (Hürth-Hermülheim, Cologne, Germany) Ralf's smarter older brother, who has won the Formula 1 world championship enough times to drain the EU champagne lake dry. Lives in Switzerland, and apparently his favourite drink is apple juice mixed with sparkling water. Life in the fast lane! Knockin' On Satan's Door

Schwartz, Sherwood (Died in 2011) Born 14 November 1916  (Passaic, New Jersey, USA) American TV producer, most notably of "Gilligan's Island" and "The Brady Bunch". Puzlman's Passing Picks

Schwarzkopf, Dame Elisabeth (Died in 2006) Born 9 December 1915  (Jarotchin, Germany) German-born but naturalized British opera singer, who hasn't performed in public since 1971. Condoleezza's Harbingers of Notapotato

Schwarzkopf, Norman Born 22 August 1934  (Trenton, New Jersey, USA) US Army general who coordinated Operation Desert Storm during Gulf War I. After his retirement, Stormin' Norman wrote his autobiography and did voiceovers for TV programmes about the military. In 2003, many were surprised to find him an outspoken critic of Gulf War II. Dave's Dead, Aye Dead Drunk Six Foot Under

Scott King, Coretta (Died in 2006) Born 27 April 1927  (Marion, Alabama, USA) Widow of Martin Luther King, who has campaigned in her own right against capital punishment and the war on Iraq, and in favour of women's rights, lesbian and gay rights and AIDS/HIV prevention. Time Is NOT On Our Side!

Searle, Ronald Born 3 March 1920  (Cambridge, England) Cartoonist, illustrator of the original "St. Trinian's" books, and former prisoner of war. His work is arguably indistinguishable from that of Gerald Scarfe and Ralph Steadman, though Searle can unarguably claim to have come first. Big Iain

Sewell, Brian Date and place of birth unknown Outspoken conservative art critic who writes for the London Evening Standard and doesn't like northerners. Or women. Peter 'RIP' Trait

Shah, Mohammed Zahir (Died in 2007) Born 16 October 1914  (Kabul, Afghanistan) Afghanistan's last king - ruled the country from 1933 to 1973, before being ousted by Soviet-backed Communists. Spent much of 2003 and 2004 in and out of hospital with various ailments. Five-Fingered Hand Of Death The Newstreet Boys Death Squad U

Shamir, Yitzhak Born 15 October 1915  (Ruzinoy, Poland) Prime Minister of Israel from 1983-84 and again from 1986-92. Ironically started his political career as a member of an underground Jewish militant organization opposed to the British occupation of Palestine in the 1930s and '40s. Meet Your Maker

Shankar, Ravi Born 7 April 1920  (Varanasi, West Bengal, India) The Beatles' sitar guru. Henry's Half-Dead Heroes

Sharon, Ariel Born 27 February 1928  (Kfar Malal, Palestine (now in Israel)) Leader of the Likud party, and, since 2001, Prime Minister of Israel. The Melonfarmers

Shatner, William Born 22 March 1931  (Montreal, Quebec, Canada) Actor who will forever be known as Captain James T. Kirk of the USS Enterprise, playing the character in the original "Star Trek" series and reprising the role in seven of the films and various related spin-offs. He also played T. J. Hooker and wrote his own series of science-fiction novels, "TekWar", which were subsequently adapted for TV. Has recorded highly amusing cover versions of The Byrds' "Mr Tambourine Man" and Pulp's "Common People". Mr & Mrs Drummerboy The Wompons

Shaw, Sandie Born 26 February 1947  (Dagenham, Essex, England) Singer who adopted a ludicrous pseudonym, shunned footwear, and had a few hits in the 1960s (her real name is Sandra Goodrich). Since then she has basically disappeared off the radar, though 1984's "Hand in Glove" heralded a very brief revival, courtesy of The Smiths. In 1996 she set up the Arts Clinic, which is a sort of Betty Ford outreach service. The Driller Killer

Sheldon, Sidney (Died in 2007) Born 11 February 1917  (Chicago, Illinois, USA) Best-selling author (e.g. "The Doomsday Conspiracy") and Oscar-winning screenwriter (e.g. "The Bachelor"). He also created the TV series "Hart to Hart", which starred Robert Wagner and Stefanie Powers. But I'm Not Dead Yet

Shriver, Robert Sargent (Died in 2011) Born 9 November 1915  (Westminster, Maryland, USA) Long-serving US politician and friend of the Kennedy clan. Now suffering from Alzheimer's, about which his daughter Maria has written a book entitled "Who The Hell Are You Again?". No it's not, it's called "What's Happening to Grandpa?". Octopus of Odstock The Vyrdolak

Sihanouk, King Born 31 October 1922  (Phnom Penh, Cambodia) Crowned King of Cambodia in 1941, but then abdicated 14 years later - in favour of his father. However, he subsequently became prime minister and was elected head of state in 1960 - only to be overthrown by a coup in 1970. Five years later the Khmer Rouge took control, and Sihanouk was head of state once more. But whaddaya know, almost immediately he'd been forced out of office. Then what happens? In 1982 he teams up with the Khmer Rouge (after they've been booted out by the Vietnamese) and becomes president in exile of the government of Democratic Kampuchea. He returned to Cambodia in 1991, and two years later, guess what? He's reinstated as King of Cambodia. Thoughout all of this, he somehow found the time to direct, produce and score 28 films. The saxophone-playing Tom Jones fan suffers from diabetes, heart problems, and colon cancer. Five-Fingered Hand Of Death I Smell Dead People Mr C U We Spin Terror

Simon, Simone  Born 23 April 1910  (Béthune, France) Died 23 February 2005  (Paris, France) Age at death: 93  (read death notice) Actress who appeared in Jean Renoir's "La Bête humaine" (1938) but who is probably better remembered for the original "Cat People" (1942); though she had nothing to do with the "sexed up" remake of 1982. Octopus of Odstock

Sin, Cardinal Jaime  Born 31 August 1928  (New Washington, Philippines) Died 21 June 2005  (Manila, Philippines) Age at death: 76  (read death notice) Roman Catholic Archbishop of Manila from 1976-2003. He often joked about his name, but then again, he could hardly take it seriously... Church(yard) On The Hill Dark Clouds and Silva Linings

Sistani, Ayatollah Born in Mashad, Iran  (exact date unknown) Radical Muslim cleric, born in 1929. Siegfried Baboon’s David Van Day Show

Slick, Grace Born 30 October 1939  (Evanston, Chicago, Illinois) Singer, of Jefferson Airplane, Starship and alcoholism fame. DeadOnArrival

Smart, Billy  Born 15 October 1934  (place of birth unknown) Died 23 May 2005  (location of death unknown) Age at death: 70  (read death notice) Former circus owner and millionaire playboy. Honez Impaled On The Antlers Of Doom Rude Kid Snuff Daddies

Smilie, Carol Born 23 December 1961  (Glasgow, Scotland) Ubiquitous and mildly annoying TV personality, of "Wheel of Fortune" and "Changing Rooms" fame. The Royton Rovers (Rita, Dave & Kevin Too…)

Smith, Anna Nicole (Died in 2007) Born 28 November 1967  (Mexia, Texas, USA) Topless dancer in a Houston bar who struck gold when she met and married 88-year-old billionaire Howard Marshall II. He promptly popped off, leaving the then Vickie Lynn Hogan to change her name, have over-the-top breast implants, pocket a rumoured $88m, and relaunch herself as a model-cum-reality TV star. Bleedin' Heart

Smith, Dame Maggie Born 28 December 1934  (Ilford, Essex, England) Actress who started out on stage with the likes of Laurence Olivier, before making the transition to the big screen and appearing in "Death On The Nile" and "A Room With A View", and more recently in the various Harry Potter adaptations. Bada Bada Bada Bada Bing

Smith, Ian (Died in 2007) Born 8 April 1919  (Selukwe, Southern Rhodesia (now Zimbabwe)) Prime Minister of Rhodesia from 1964-79. He made a unilateral declaration of independence from the UK in November 1965, but few countries (not even South Africa) recognised the new state. In the late '70s, he was forced to enter negotiations with the Zapu and Zanu parties; these led to the creation of Zimbabwe. Was defeated in the first multi-racial elections by Robert Mugabe. Bob Mugabe's Swingtime Band The Buddy Holly Flying Experience

Smith, Liz Born 11 December 1925  (Scunthorpe, Lincolnshire, England) A latecomer to the world of TV/film acting, who didn't get her first screen role until the age of 45. Now specialises in playing batty old ladies and appearing on camp chat shows (An Evening with Lily Savage, So Graham Norton) as...er...a batty old lady. Cefor Certs

Snowdon, Lord Born 7 March 1930  (London, England) Antony Charles Robert Armstrong-Jones, celebrity photographer and former husband of Princess Margaret. Grim Rita

Solzhenitsyn, Alexander (Died in 2008) Born 11 December 1918  (Kislovodsk, Russia) Exiled from the USSR for 20 years, the massively-bearded dissident writer and winner of the 1970 Nobel Prize for Literature eventually returned home to Russia after the fall of communism. He was operated on for a tumour in the 1950s while at a labour camp in Kazakhstan, and was reportedly "near death" in 1953. Admitted to hospital at the end of 2002 amid speculation that he had suffered a stroke, it was revealed early in 2003 that he was simply being treated for high blood pressure. Diet Of Worms  Heaven Can't Wait 'til Another Day The Newstreet Boys Death Squad StuPerks Toasted Brown Bread

Souness, Graeme Born 6 May 1953  (Edinburgh, Scotland) Football player and manager - captained the all-conquering Liverpool team of the early 1980s, and has managed Liverpool, Torino, Benfica and Newcastle United. Underwent major heart surgery in 1992. His trademark curly hair and moustache undoubtedly influenced Harry Enfield's "Arr eyy, calm down" Scouse characters, although Souness himself is a dourrr Scot. Dead Ringers

Spangler, Spanky Date and place of birth unknown Stuntman and all-purpose daredevil. The Melonfarmers

Spark, Muriel (Died in 2006) Born 1 February 1918  (Edinburgh, Scotland) Novelist who wrote "The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie" in 1962, but little else of any note. Real name: Muriel Sarah Camberg. Diet Of Worms

Spector, Phil Born 26 December 1940  (The Bronx, New York, USA) Highly influential record producer who was responsible for some of the best-known pop music of the 1960s and '70s, including tracks by Gene Pitney, The Ronettes, The Righteous Brothers, Ike & Tina Turner, John Lennon and The Ramones. Invented the "Wall of Sound" production technique. Indicted for murder in 2003. The Melonfarmers

Sperber, Wendie Jo  Born 15 September 1962  (Hollywood, California, USA) Died 29 November 2005  (Los Angeles, California, USA) Age at death: 43  (read death notice) Actress who played Amy Cassidy in the TV series "Bosom Buddies". She also played Marty McFly's sister Linda in "Back to the Future" and "Back to the Future Part III", though missed out on the work of genius that was the second part of the trilogy. A breast cancer sufferer, she founded the cancer support charity weSPARK. DeadOnArrival Fallen Sparrow Mean Machine Naked Florida Gravediggers Time Is NOT On Our Side!  The Undertaker

Spillane, Mickey (Died in 2006) Born 9 March 1918  (Brooklyn, New York, USA) Comic book author and trampoline artiste who helped create Captain America and Captain Marvel, before turning to writing crime novels, mostly featuring archetypal tough, no-nonsense detective Mike Hammer. Diet Of Worms

St Laurent, Yves (Died in 2008) Born 1 August 1936  (Oran, Algeria) One of the leading figures in twentieth-century fashion, who started out working for Christian Dior at the age of 17, and went on to set up his own label in 1962. He is credited in particular with revolutionising women's fashion in the 1960s. Retired early in 2002, explaining that he had been "battling ill health and depression" for many years. Not surprising when you consider that he reportedly used to get through 150 cigarettes and 20 cans of soft drink a day. Now The Time Is Near

Stallone, Jackie Born in Washington, DC, USA  (exact date unknown) Bonkers mother of Sylvester Stallone who claims that she's a psychic, believes that dogs can predict the future, and tells fibs about her age (she was probably born in 1923, but she says 1933 or 1934, which would have made her about 12 when Sly was born). Dead As A Dodo

Stannage, James Date and place of birth unknown Outspoken Mancunian radio DJ and self-styled "biggest mouth in Manchester". The Royton Rovers (Rita, Dave & Kevin Too…)

Stanton, Harry Dean Born 14 July 1926  (West Irvine, Kentucky, USA) Versatile character actor who has appeared in films such as "The Green Mile", "Repo Man" and "Paris, Texas." He also sings and plays guitar in his own band. Cefor Certs

Stark, Koo Born 26 April 1956  (New York, New York, USA) American actress, model and photographer, born Kathleen Dee-Anne Norris. Had a part in "Star Wars", but it was cut from the final version, and she ended up in a couple of soft-porn films. Her real fame came from a relationship with Prince Andrew; the media duly had a field day with the fact that Andy's bird was a porn star. Deadknobs And Doomed Picks

Starkey, Lee Born 17 November 1970  (Hammersmith, London, England) Daughter of Ringo Starr; has undergone treatment for two brain tumours. Nominally in the fashion business, though at one time she worked at Tower Records in London. One Foot In The Grave

Starr, Ringo Born 7 July 1940  (Liverpool, Merseyside, England) The Beatles' drummer and Thomas The Tank Engine's narrator. Real name Richard Starkey. Bazzilliant

Steinbrenner, George (Died in 2010) Born 4 July 1930  (Rocky River, Ohio, USA) American businessman who owns the New York Yankees baseball team. In 1974 he was fined $20,000 in connection with the Watergate scandal. Ben Affleck once described him as "the center of evil in the universe" - though the fact that Affleck is a die-hard Red Sox fan may have something to do with this view. Naked Florida Gravediggers

Stevens, Ray Born 24 January 1939  (Clarkdale, Georgia, USA) Comedy singer - "Ahab The Arab", "Everything Is Beautiful", "Too Drunk To Fish" etc. Dead As A Dodo

Stevens, Shakin' Born 4 March 1948  (Ely, Cardiff, Wales) Welsh Elvis lookalike who had a string of hits in the 1980s with "This Ole House", "Green Door", "Oh Julie" and others. Well respected for once attacking Richard Madeley on live TV. I Smell Dead People

Stewart, Rod Born 10 January 1945  (Highgate, London, England) Past-his-prime rock star who pays young blondes to pretend to like him. Best-known hits include "Maggie May", "You Wear It Well" and the mildly sickening "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?". Far superior, though, is the classic "Stay With Me", which he co-wrote and recorded while a member of The Faces. Underwent surgery in 2000 after suspected thyroid cancer. John Stalker

Stipe, Michael Born 4 January 1960  (Decatur, Georgia, USA) Impenetrable frontman of REM and sometime social and political activist. DeadOnArrival

Stottlemyre Sr, Mel Born 13 November 1941  (Hazelton, Missouri, USA) Some old baseball player and father of another baseball player of the same name, apparently. Very unlikely to get a UK obit. Mr C

Stringfellow, Peter Born 17 October 1940  (Sheffield, South Yorkshire, England) Britain's most famous nightclub owner, often lampooned for his hairstyle and dress sense. The Winged Devil Monkeys

Stroessner, Alfredo (Died in 2006) Born 3 November 1912  (Encarnación, Paraguay) Son of a German immigrant, who became President and dictator of Paraguay in 1954, and was re-elected several times (not surprisingly, since he was the only candidate in most of the elections), before finally being deposed in 1989. Now lives in exile in Brazil. See, I Told You I Was Sick!

Stuart, Gloria (Died in 2010) Born 4 July 1910  (Santa Monica, California, USA) Hollywood actress who had a prolific career during the 1930s and 1940s, following which she retired. However, she returned to acting in the 1970s and has appeared in numerous films since, most notably the 1997 blockbuster "Titanic". Octopus of Odstock Offaly Bad Taste

Sugden, Mollie (Died in 2009) Born 21 July 1922  (Keighley, Yorkshire, England) Played Mrs Slocombe in "Are You Being Served?" The Doom & Gloom Room Juicy Janny

Suharto (Died in 2008) Born 8 June 1921  (Yogyakarta, Java, Indonesia) Former president of Indonesia, whose family are constantly embroiled in allegations of corruption (particularly his son Tommy, who was jailed for 15 years in 2002 for murdering a supreme court judge). Rarely seen in public nowadays, he has had numerous health problems in recent years, involving several strokes and various kidney, liver and heart complaints, although it has been suggested that these were invented to avoid having to turn up in court. Like many Indonesians, he only uses one name. Bob Mugabe's Swingtime Band Bucket Kickers Fallen Sparrow Five-Fingered Hand Of Death Ready For The Box Siegfried Baboon’s David Van Day Show We Don't Want Any Bouncebackability

Sutcliffe, Peter Born 2 June 1946  (Bingley, West Yorkshire, England) The Yorkshire Ripper, imprisoned for life in 1981 for murdering 13 women and leaving 7 others for dead over the previous 6 years. Finbarr Returns from the Dead In Bed With Maradona Now The Time Is Near

Sutherland, Dame Joan (Died in 2010) Born 7 November 1926  (Sydney, Australia) Australian soprano opera singer who made her debut in 1952 and retired in 1990. Snuff Daddies

Sykes, Eric Born 4 May 1923  (Oldham, Lancashire, England) Comic actor who has also written and directed a number of silent films (most recently "The Big Freeze" in 1993, in which he starred alongside Bob Hoskins). Like numerous other comics of his generation, he started out by entertaining the troops during World War II. Those glasses he wears aren't for his eyesight - apparently they serve only to disguise a bone-conduction hearing aid. Alison The Assassin Church(yard) On The Hill The Coffin Boffins The Doom & Gloom Room Grobler's Stiff Ones Jaguar X-Types Jesus Jones Juicy Janny Living In A Box The Long-Awaited Return of The Plymouth Jury Pining For The Fjords SexyB's Goners

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