Celebrity picks for Derby Dead Pool 2005: R

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Race, Harley Born 11 April 1943  (Quitman, Missouri, USA) Former US wrestler, 8 times world champion or something. Mean Machine

Radcliffe, Ted 'Double Duty'  Born 7 July 1902  (Mobile, Alabama, USA) Died 11 August 2005  (Chicago, Illinois, USA) Age at death: 103  (read death notice) Ancient former baseball player, who used to play in something called the 'Negro World Series', which really dated him. Got his nickname, apparently, from the fact that he caught someone in the first game of a doubleheader, then pitched a shutout in the second game; if you're not American, this sentence might as well be written in ancient Sanskrit. Baseball, I dunno, it's just rounders with stupid phrases thrown in. Is anyone reading this crap anyway? The Doffin' Codgers

Rainier of Monaco, Prince  Born 31 May 1923  (Monaco) Died 6 April 2005  (Monaco) Age at death: 81  (read death notice) Head of state of tiny country since 1949. Widower of Princess Grace and father of various deviant children. 57,288,974 Americans Are Smart Dark Clouds and Silva Linings Diet Of Worms Grim Rita  Jaguar X-Types Jesus Jones JoeRam Juicy Janny The Undertaker Whitaker's Choice The Wompons Worm Food

Rayner, Claire (Died in 2010) Born 22 January 1931  (Stepney, London, England) Former nurse who went on to write about family health issues, becoming one of the UK's best-known agony aunts. She has also published a number of books about gardening as well as some fiction. Reportedly close to death in 2003 due to serious complications during surgery on a tendon, resulting in multiple organ failure, pneumonia and septicaemia. Brown Bread The Doffin' Codgers Heaven Can't Wait 'til Another Day The Last Gasp Pining For The Fjords Pooil Vaaish Rest In Peace Rude Kid T. Rex

Reagan, Nancy Born 6 July 1921  (New York, New York, USA) Born Anne Frances Robbins, and subsequently nicknamed Nancy, the former First Lady took the surname Davis after her mother's remarriage. Apparently she gives her date of birth as 6 July 1923, though in reality it was two years earlier. She had a relatively short and uneventful career as an actress which ended when she married Ronnie in 1958. Since then she has been known for her anti-drugs campaigning and her dubious astrological beliefs. 57,288,974 Americans Are Smart Big Iain Bone Collector (Dave) Condoleezza's Harbingers of Notapotato The Driller Killer Mr & Mrs Drummerboy Eejit Grassy Knoll Grayson Louis Cypher Mean Machine Now The Time Is Near Oh...If Only It Were True Peter 'RIP' Trait Snuff Daddies The Undertaker We Don't Want Any Bouncebackability

Redford, Robert Born 18 August 1937  (Santa Monica, California, USA) Heart-throb actor who didn't make the big time until the age of 32, with his role as The Sundance Kid, alongside Paul Newman's Butch Cassidy. Went on to star in "The Sting" (again with Newman), "A Bridge Too Far", and so forth. Bazzilliant

Redgrave, Lynn (Died in 2010) Born 8 March 1943  (London, England) Member of the Redgrave acting dynasty: granddaugter of Roy Redgrave; daughter of Michael Redgrave and Rachel Kempson; sister of Corin and Vanessa Redgrave; aunt of Natasha and Joely Richardson... to name but a few relatives. Her most famous role was probably the title character in 1966's "Georgy Girl". Naked Florida Gravediggers

Reed, Lou Born 2 March 1942  (Freeport, Long Island, New York, USA) He of Velvet Underground fame. John Stalker

Rehnquist, William  Born 1 October 1924  (Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA) Died 3 September 2005  (Arlington, Virginia, USA) Age at death: 80  (read death notice) Chief Justice of the US Supreme Court. Diagnosed with thyroid cancer in October 2004. Above Average For Norfolk Already Dead And Resurrected  Atsusdead  Bleedin' Heart Dark Clouds and Silva Linings Deathlist.net Fallen Sparrow The Grey Horde I Smell Dead People JoeRam  Naked Florida Gravediggers Octopus of Odstock One Foot In The Grave  Pining For The Fjords The Raven Rude Kid

Reve, Gerard (Died in 2006) Born 14 December 1923  (Amsterdam, Netherlands) Dutch author who is a pioneer in European gay writing. He legendarily characterized Christ as a donkey with whom he wanted to have sexual intercourse. He is currently suffering from the advanced stages of Alzheimer’s disease. It remains to be seen if he will pass the famousness test, however. The Newstreet Boys Death Squad

Reynolds, Burt Born 11 February 1936  (Waycross, Georgia, USA) Prolific US actor and first (nearly) nude male centerfold (1972, Cosmopolitan). Although he acted in some classic movies (Deliverance, Boogie Nights), he will be chiefly remembered for "good ole' boy"-type movies like Smokey and the Bandit, Cannonball Run and The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. Bucket Kickers

Reynolds, Debbie Born 1 April 1932  (El Paso, Texas, USA) Was an unknown young actress until she was selected to play the female lead, Kathy Selden, alongside Gene Kelly in "Singin' in the Rain" (1952) - a role for which she had to learn to tap-dance from scratch. Not Dead Yet

Richard, Cliff Born 14 October 1940  (Lucknow, India) Actor, singer, colostomy bag-wearer and insufferably smug Christian. Lived So Let's Die

Richards, Keith Born 18 December 1943  (Dartford, Kent, England) The guitar-playing Rolling Stone with the distinctive death-warmed-up constitution. The 104s The Buddy Holly Flying Experience Dave's Dead, Aye Dead Drunk DeadOnArrival Mr & Mrs Drummerboy Globaltruth Holicman FT Oh...If Only It Were True

Richards, Lou Born 15 March 1923  (place of birth unknown) Australian football legend, who used to captain the Magpies (they're AFL giants Collingwood FC, for those who happen not to follow Aussie Rules). Mr & Mrs Drummerboy

Rivers, Joan Born 8 June 1933  (Brooklyn, New York, USA) Gruff-voiced, surgically-enhanced comedienne, talk show host and general all-purpose celebrity. The Last Gasp Worm Food

Roach, Max (Died in 2007) Born 10 January 1924  (New Land, North Carolina, USA) Jazz drummer of the 1950s and '60s, now suffering from Alzheimer's. Dark Clouds and Silva Linings

Roache, William Born 25 April 1932  (Ilkeston, Derbyshire, England) TV actor, who, despite playing the part of Ken Barlow in "Coronation Street" since 1960, still manages to be more wooden than your average Ikea bookcase. Lived So Let's Die

Robert, Alain Born 7 April 1962  (Valence, France) The self-styled "French Spiderman". Nutcase who climbs up the outside of skyscrapers for the hell of it, without ropes or other safety equipment. Condoleezza's Harbingers of Notapotato

Roberts, Oral (Died in 2009) Born 24 January 1918  (Pontotoc County, Oklahoma, USA) Oddly- yet appropriately-named American TV evangelist. Meet Your Maker

Robinson, Eddie (Died in 2007) Born 13 February 1919  (Jackson, Louisiana, USA) The most successful (or, as the Yanks would put it, "winningest") coach in American college football history. Crazycarl

Robson, Sir Bobby (Died in 2009) Born 18 February 1933  (Sacriston, Co Durham, England) Football manager who has taken charge of, among others, Ipswich Town, PSV Eindhoven, Barcelona, Newcastle United and of course the English national side. Bone Collector (Dave) Dead Ringers Pry It From His Cold Dead Fingers Stiff As A Board

Rogers, Kenny Born 21 August 1938  (Houston, Texas, USA) Bearded country & western singer. Dead As A Dodo

Roll of Ipsden, Lord Eric  Born 1 December 1907  (place of birth unknown) Died 30 March 2005  (location of death unknown) Age at death: 97  (read death notice) Was the oldest member of the House of Lords. I Smell Dead People

Rooney, Andy Born 14 January 1919  (Albany, New York, USA) News commentator on the popular weekly American TV programme "60 Minutes". Meet Your Maker

Rooney, Mickey Born 23 September 1920  (Brooklyn, New York, USA) The young Joe Yule, Jr (as he was then named) had already appeared as Mickey McGuire in 50 short films by the time he was 13. He has followed a fairly busy acting schedule since then, but has never really regained the same recognition as an adult. He underwent surgery for a perforated colon in 1999, and had part of it removed, presumably leaving him with a semi-colon. Close The Casket  Dead As A Dodo Grim Rita Grizly Jaguar X-Types The Melonfarmers

Ross, Diana Born 26 March 1944  (Detroit, Michigan, USA) Motown diva, of "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" fame. The former Supreme is no stranger to the law, and was recently busted for drink-driving. Pry It From His Cold Dead Fingers

Rukeyser, Louis (Died in 2006) Born 30 January 1933  (New York, New York, USA) US television personality. Former presenter of PBS "Wall Street Week", and until recently hosted his own show "Louis Rukeyser's Wall Street" on CNBC. The Raven

Rule, Ja Born 29 February 1976  (Queens, New York, USA) Rapper who made his name through various collaborations with Jay-Z. Knockin' On Satan's Door

Rushdie, Salman Born 19 June 1947  (Bombay (now Mumbai), India) Novelist who ruffled so many feathers in his native India with his novel "Midnight's Children" that he was forced to leave the country. Clearly having learnt nothing from the experience, he went on to write "The Satanic Verses" in 1988, which was critical of the Islamic faith. It resulted in rioting, book-burning, and Ayatollah Khomeini declaring a fatwa (effectively a death penalty) on his ass. He has been in hiding ever since, and the fatwa was reaffirmed by the new Ayatollah in early 2005. Dead Beat Diet Of Worms

Russell, Jane (Died in 2011) Born 21 June 1921  (Bemidji, Minnesota, USA) Well-endowed actress of "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes" fame. Louis Cypher

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