Celebrity picks for Derby Dead Pool 2005: M

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MacGowan, Shane Born 25 December 1957  (Tunbridge Wells, Kent, England) Dentally challenged singer-songwriter who used to front the Pogues, and latterly the Popes (though recently he went back to the Pogues for a reunion tour). Constantly rumoured to be on the brink of death due to non-stop drinking, smoking and drug-taking. At one stage, for example, he was said to be taking fifty tabs of acid a day - smoke your heart out, Shaun Ryder! Alison The Assassin B1G-5PUD Cefor Certs Deadknobs And Doomed Picks Dr Death's Diabolical Dice Of Doom The Driller Killer Now The Time Is Near Pooil Vaaish Rest In Peace SexyB's Goners Stiff As A Board Vassili Zaitsev The Wompons

Mackay, Dave Born 14 November 1934  (Edinburgh, Scotland) Ex-footballer - member of the Spurs double-winning side of 1960-61 who later managed Derby County to two League Championships in the early/mid '70s. Eventually retired due to health problems, including, unusually, cancer of the lip. The Coffin Boffins

MacLaine, Shirley Born 24 April 1934  (Richmond, Virginia, USA) Oddball Hollywood actress who has starred in countless films, such as "Some Came Running" (1958), "The Apartment" (1960), "Sweet Charity" (1969) and "Postcards from the Edge" (1990). Pointlessly changed her name from Shirley MacLean Beaty, and indeed is the sister of Warren, who pointlessly changed his surname to Beatty. Doctors described her as being "in tip-top shape" in 2002, though this probably applies to her physical health only. A big believer in reincarnation, and New Age horseshit in general, she claims to have had an affair with the late Swedish prime minister Olof Palme, who apparently was a reincarnation of Emperor Charlemagne; symmetrically, she was a lover of Emperor Charlemagne in a previous life. Oh, and aliens have landed on her front porch as well. Dave's Dead, Aye Dead Drunk Dead As A Dodo

Macnee, Patrick Born 6 February 1922  (London, England) Actor - played the suave Steed in "The Avengers". The Doom & Gloom Room

Madden, John Born 10 April 1936  (Austin, Minnesota, USA) Former head coach of the Oakland Raiders (overseeing their victory in Superbowl XI), who has been an NFL commentator on TV for over twenty years. He's also a best-selling sports author who, in a stroke of genius, gave his first book the title "Hey, Wait a Minute, I Wrote a Book!" Bada Bada Bada Bada Bing The Wompons

Mae, Vanessa Born 17 October 1978  (Singapore) Violinist. Dead Ringers

Magnusson, Magnus (Died in 2007) Born 12 October 1929  (Reykjavik, Iceland) Long-time host of "Mastermind" and probably the only famous Icelander apart from Björk; he's started, but will this be the year he finishes? Above Average For Norfolk Honez

Magri, Charlie Date and place of birth unknown East End boxer-turned-sports shop owner. John Stalker

Mahfouz, Naguib (Died in 2006) Born 11 December 1911  (Cairo, Egypt) Egyptian novelist who won the 1988 Nobel Prize for Literature. Diet Of Worms

Majors, Lee Born 23 April 1940  (Wyandotte, Michigan, USA) Actor, born Harvey Lee Yeary, famous as Colonel Steve Austin, "The Six Million Dollar Man". Dead Beat

Malden, Karl (Died in 2009) Born 22 March 1912  (Gary, Indiana, USA) Serbian immigrant (real name Mladen Sekulovich) and former steelworker who became a bit-part movie actor. However, he was better known as Detective Lieutenant Mike Stone in the '70s TV series 'The Streets of San Francisco'. Bleedin' Heart But I'm Not Dead Yet Crem De La Crem Dead Beat George Lass and the Gravelings Grassy Knoll Grayson  The Undertaker

Mandela, Nelson Born 18 July 1918  (Umtata, South Africa) Leader of the African National Congress, which was outlawed in 1948, when apartheid was legalised in South Africa. He was imprisoned for allegedly being involved in a bomb plot, and spent 27 years inside, before being freed as part of President FW de Klerk's reforms in 1990. Mandela himself became President from 1994-97. Bada Bada Bada Bada Bing Cefor Certs Close The Casket Dysfunctional Globaltruth Grassy Knoll Grayson The Grey Horde Grizly Team Lightning Meet Your Maker Six Foot Under

Mandela, Winnie Born 26 September 1934  (Bizana, Pondoland, Transkei, South Africa) The first black First Lady of South Africa, and now estranged wife of Nelson. Dead As A Dodo The Wompons

Manning, Bernard (Died in 2007) Born 13 August 1930  (Ancoats, Manchester, England) Larger-than-wife stand-up performer from the old school of comedy, known for his racist and sexist jokes and general refusal to accept political correctness. He has recently retired on grounds of ill health, leaving the running of his Embassy Club to son Bernard, Jr. Above Average For Norfolk  Better Late Than Never Bone Collector (Dave) The Coffin Boffins Dead Ringers Finbarr Returns from the Dead Pining For The Fjords Simon Says 'Die, You Fools, Die' Slave to the Grave

Mara, Wellington  Born 14 August 1916  (New York City, New York, USA) Died 25 October 2005  (Rye, New York, USA) Age at death: 89  (read death notice) Owner of the New York Giants American football team. Mean Machine The Undertaker

Maradona, Diego Born 30 October 1960  (Lanús, Buenos Aires, Argentina) Short, fat Argie footballer whose 'Hand of God' antics knocked England out of the 1986 World Cup. Now a cash-strapped recovering cocaine addict. Alison The Assassin Brown Bread Bucket Kickers Deadknobs And Doomed Picks  Dysfunctional Fallen Sparrow Finbarr Returns from the Dead Grassy Knoll Grayson Impaled On The Antlers Of Doom In Bed With Maradona  Jesus Jones Just Resting My Eyes The Newstreet Boys Death Squad Stiff As A Board Youth In Asia Hotline

Marceau, Marcel (Died in 2007) Born 22 March 1923  (Strasbourg, France) Thanks to the lack of sophistication of the French sense of humour, Marceau has managed to make a living as a mime artist for over 50 years, mainly playing his white-faced Ronald McDonald lookalike character, Bip. With self-conscious irony, he had the only speaking part in Mel Brooks' film 'Silent Movie' (1976). Jaguar X-Types

Marcos, Imelda Born 2 July 1929  (Manila, Philippines) Former beauty queen, lavish-living, obsessive shoe-collector and widow of former Filipino president Ferdinand Marcos. After his death, she was acquitted of embezzlement in the US, but convicted of the crime of 'graft', whatever that is, in the Philippines. Henry's Half-Dead Heroes Louis Cypher

Marin, Pedro Antonio (Died in 2008) Born 13 May 1928  (Colombia) Founder of the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia (FARC) guerrilla group. Bob Mugabe's Swingtime Band

Marsden, Paul Born 18 August 1968  (place of birth unknown) Liberal Democrat MP for Shrewsbury & Atcham. Defected from the Labour Party in 2001 after objecting to the war on Afghanistan and allegedly being assaulted by Labour whips in the House of Commons bar. Impaled On The Antlers Of Doom

Marshall, Sir Arthur (Died in 2007) Born 4 December 1903  (place of birth unknown) Member of the British team in the 1924 'Chariots of Fire' Olympic Games in Paris, who went on to become a leading figure in the aviation industry. Whitaker's Choice

Martin, Derek Born 11 April 1933  (Bow, London, England) TV actor - Charlie Slater in "EastEnders". Octopus of Odstock

Mashaal, Khaled Born in Silwad, West Bank  (exact date unknown) Believed by many, including Israel's intelligence services, to be the leader of the Islamic terrorist group Hamas. Born 1956. The Raven

Mathis, Johnny Born 30 September 1935  (Gilmer, Texas, USA) Easy-listening musician. Your granny's probably got his Greatest Hits album in the attic. StuPerks

Maynard, Bill Born 8 October 1928  (Heath End, Farnham, Surrey, England) Comic actor who played Selwyn in the sitcom "Oh No! It's Selwyn Froggit" and Claude Greengrass in the soporific TV drama "Heartbeat". After leaving the series due to a stroke suffered while filming, he returned to play the same character in the equally gentle spin-off "The Royal". Honez Now The Time Is Near

Mayr, Ernst  Born 5 July 1904  (Kempten, Germany) Died 3 February 2005  (Bedford, Massachusetts, USA) Age at death: 100  (read death notice) Eminent evolutionary biologist and zoologist. Fallen Sparrow The Grey Horde U

McCain, John Born 29 April 1936  (Coco Solo, Panama) Vietnam veteran who went on to become a US Senator and invent oven chips. Probably. DeadOnArrival

McCartney, Paul Born 18 June 1942  (Liverpool, England) Younger of the 2 surviving Beatles. Lived So Let's Die Six Foot Under

McGavin, Darren (Died in 2006) Born 7 May 1922  (San Joaquin, California, USA) Actor, well remembered on the other side of the pond as the dad in "A Christmas Story". The Vyrdolak

McGoohan, Patrick (Died in 2009) Born 19 March 1928  (Astoria, New York, USA) Actor - Number Six in "The Prisoner". Globaltruth

McKellen, Sir Ian Born 25 May 1939  (Burnley, Lancashire, England) Shakespearean and Harrypotterean actor. Stiff As A Board

McMahon, Ed (Died in 2009) Born 6 March 1923  (Detroit, Michigan, USA) Sidekick to Johnny Carson on "The Tonight Show". Team Lightning

Messner, Tammy Faye (Died in 2007) Born 7 March 1942  (International Falls, Minnesota, USA) Ex-wife of disgraced former TV evangelist Jim Bakker. Single-handedly keeps numerous cosmetics factories in business. Crazycarl JoeRam One Foot In The Grave Rude Kid We Spin Terror

Michael, George Born 25 June 1963  (London, England) Pop star - originally one half of Wham! and then hugely successful solo artist. The Buddy Holly Flying Experience

Michelmore, Cliff Born 11 December 1919  (Cowes, Isle of Wight, England) Presenter of TV travel programmes. Dead Beat Heaven Can't Wait 'til Another Day

Miller, Arthur  Born 17 October 1915  (New York, New York, USA) Died 10 February 2005  (Roxbury, Connecticut, USA) Age at death: 89  (read death notice) Playwright ("Death of a Salesman") and ex-husband of Marilyn Monroe. Big Iain Diet Of Worms Holicman FT Jaguar X-Types  Jesus Jones Mean Machine Time Is NOT On Our Side! The Undertaker We Don't Want Any Bouncebackability

Miller, Mitch (Died in 2010) Born 4 July 1911  (Rochester, New York, USA) Pianist, oboist, conductor and singer who was head of A&R at Columbia Records from 1950 until 1965, signing Frankie Laine, Tony Bennett, Rosemary Clooney and many others, in addition to firing Frank Sinatra. At the same time he had a highly successful performing career in the form of Mitch Miller and His Gang, and fronted the TV series "Sing Along With Mitch". After leaving Columbia (he hated rock 'n' roll and refused to move with the times) he pretty much disappeared from public life entirely. Naked Florida Gravediggers

Mills, Lady Mary  Born 22 January 1914  (Shanghai, China) Died 1 December 2005  (England) Age at death: 91  (read death notice) Playwright, novelist ("Whistle Down The Wind", written under her birth name of Mary Hayley Bell) and widow of Sir John. Grim Rita Grobler's Stiff Ones Jaguar X-Types

Mills, Sir John  Born 22 February 1908  (Felixstowe, Suffolk, England) Died 23 April 2005  (Buckinghamshire, England) Age at death: 97  (read death notice) Veteran actor (Oh What A Lovely War, Ryan's Daughter, Gandhi etc). Grandfather of Crispian Mills, lead singer of Kula Shaker. Alison The Assassin Already Dead And Resurrected Big Iain Brown Bread Church(yard) On The Hill The Coffin Boffins The Conqueror Worm Crem De La Crem Dark Clouds and Silva Linings Dave's Dead, Aye Dead Drunk Dead Ringers Deathlist.net Dysfunctional Eat My Dust Eejit Globaltruth Grobler's Stiff Ones Jaguar X-Types Knockin' On Satan's Door The Long-Awaited Return of The Plymouth Jury Meet Your Maker Mr C Octopus of Odstock Oh...If Only It Were True Ready For The Box The Royton Rovers (Rita, Dave & Kevin Too…)  Simon Says 'Die, You Fools, Die' Stab In The Dark TiM r Toasted Brown Bread T. Rex U We Spin Terror Whitaker's Choice Worm Food Youth In Asia Hotline

Milosevic, Slobodan (Died in 2006) Born 29 August 1941  (Pozarevac, Yugoslavia (now in Serbia)) Former President of Serbia and "Butcher of the Balkans". Conveniently falls ill every time the UN tries to put him on trial for genocide. Alison The Assassin Dead Beat The Newstreet Boys Death Squad Now The Time Is Near The Winged Devil Monkeys

Minnelli, Liza Born 12 March 1946  (Los Angeles, California, USA) Daughter of Judy Garland, and moderately successful singer/stage actress in her own right. Has suffered from ill health in recent years as a result of drug abuse, and has been a regular visitor to rehab clinics. Married film producer David Gest in March 2002. Alison The Assassin B1G-5PUD Big Iain The Conqueror Worm Dead As A Dodo The Driller Killer Grizly Louis Cypher Pry It From His Cold Dead Fingers Vassili Zaitsev

Mintoff, Dom Born 6 August 1916  (Cospicua, Malta) Former Prime Minister of Malta. Octopus of Odstock

Mitchell, Warren Born 14 January 1926  (London, England) Actor who will forever be associated with the part he played as the bigoted Alf Garnett in the long-running British sitcoms "Till Death Us Do Part" (alongside Tony Booth) and its sequel "In Sickness and in Health". Stiff As A Board

Modell, Art Born 23 June 1925  (Brooklyn, New York, USA) Owner of the Baltimore Ravens American football team. Missed a home game for the first time in December 2003, due to respiratory problems. Mr C

Moody, Ron Born 8 January 1924  (London, England) Film, stage and TV actor, born Ronald Moodnick, remembered for his role as Fagin in 1968's film version of "Oliver!". Dave's Dead, Aye Dead Drunk

Moon, Sun Myung Born 6 January 1920  (Kwangju Sangsa Ri, Korea (now North Korea)) Founder of the Unification Church, often referred to as "The Moonies". Has a finger in the pie of various conservative news organizations in America. Served a prison term for tax fraud in the 1980s. Toasted Brown Bread

Moore, Michael Born 23 April 1954  (Davison, Michigan, USA) Oscar-winning director of interesting but somewhat didactic documentary films. Slave to the Grave

Moore, Patrick Born 4 March 1923  (Pinner, Middlesex, England) Eminent astronomer and xylophone-player, who has presented every one of BBC television's "The Sky at Night" programmes (which makes him the world's longest-serving presenter). Big mates with Brian May out of Queen, due to their shared interest in space, he was knighted by the Queen in 2001. Big Iain Close The Casket Crem De La Crem Deathlist.net The Doom & Gloom Room Dr Death's Diabolical Dice Of Doom The Driller Killer Dysfunctional Finbarr Returns from the Dead The Grey Horde Grim Rita Honez Impaled On The Antlers Of Doom Living In A Box Now The Time Is Near Offaly Bad Taste Pining For The Fjords  Pooil Vaaish The Royton Rovers (Rita, Dave & Kevin Too…) Siegfried Baboon’s David Van Day Show

Moore, Roger Born 14 October 1927  (Stockwell, London, England) The cheesiest of the actors to have played international man of mystery James Bond, he took over from Sean Connery in 1973, appearing in seven Bond films until 1985's "A View to a Kill". The ageing dinner-jacketed eyebrow-raiser now seemingly maintains the Bond persona for real, by living in Switzerland and Monte Carlo with his Swedish wife Christina "Kiki" Tholstrup, a former air stewardess. B1G-5PUD Close The Casket The Coffin-Dodgers The Driller Killer Juicy Janny The Winged Devil Monkeys

Morgan, Edwin (Died in 2010) Born 27 April 1920  (Glasgow, Scotland) Glasgow's first Poet Laureate. Above Average For Norfolk

Morgan, Harry Born 10 April 1915  (Detroit, Michigan, USA) Prolific film and television actor, probably best known for playing Colonel Sherman T. Potter in long-running TV series "M*A*S*H". Real name Harry Bratsburg. But I'm Not Dead Yet Condoleezza's Harbingers of Notapotato DeadOnArrival The Undertaker

Morita, Pat  Born 28 June 1932  (Isleton, California, USA) Died 24 November 2005  (Las Vegas, Nevada, USA) Age at death: 73  (read death notice) That annoying "wax on, wax off" teacher out of the "Karate Kid" movies. Bada Bada Bada Bada Bing

Morricone, Ennio Born 10 November 1928  (Rome, Italy) Composer of musical scores for films, especially spaghetti Westerns. Reddmyst 20

Morrison, Tommy Born 2 January 1969  (Kansas City, Missouri) Ex-boxer who once defeated George Foreman and appeared in "Rocky V". Tested positive for HIV in 1996. The Wompons

Morrison, Van Born 31 August 1945  (Belfast, Northern Ireland) Celebrated Irish musician. Was once married to a woman called Janet Planet. Dead As A Dodo The Doom & Gloom Room

Mortimer, John (Died in 2009) Born 21 April 1923  (Hampstead, London, England) Barrister turned playwright and novelist, who created Rumpole of the Bailey, but in his old age has become a tedious political rent-a-gob. TiM r T. Rex  Whitaker's Choice

Moss, Kate Born 16 January 1974  (Croydon, Surrey, England) Unattractively stick-thin fashion model. Oh...If Only It Were True

Mouskouri, Nana Born 13 October 1934  (Chania, Crete, Greece) Bespectacled Greek crooner and European Parliament member, who has recorded over 1500 songs in 15 languages, selling 250 million records in the process, which makes her arguably the most successful female singer ever. Finbarr Returns from the Dead

Mubarak, Hosni Born 4 May 1928  (Kafr-al Musailha, Egypt) President of Egypt since Anwar Sadat's assassination in 1981. In November 2003 he collapsed in parliament during a televised address, but reappeared shortly afterwards, putting it down to flu. The Last Gasp Louis Cypher TiM r

Mugabe, Robert Born 22 February 1924  (Kutama, Southern Rhodesia, now Zimbabwe) President of Zimbabwe, constantly immersed in allegations of vote-rigging and incitement to violence, whose primary gift to the world is the idea that "it's OK to be the president and wear a baseball cap". There has been at least one alleged plot to assassinate the Marxist-when-it-suits-him leader. Bob Mugabe's Swingtime Band Henry's Half-Dead Heroes Louis Cypher Peter 'RIP' Trait Stab In The Dark

Muhammad, Ruby (Died in 2011) Born 29 March 1897  (Americus, Georgia, USA) Wife of the late Elijah Muhammad, who founded the Nation of Islam. In 1986 Louis Farrakhan (Elijah Muhammad's successor as leader) named her "Mother of the Nation of Islam". The much-revered centenarian was said to be in excellent mental and physical health in 2003. One Foot In The Grave Rude Kid

Murdoch, Rupert Born 11 March 1931  (Melbourne, Victoria, Australia) American media tycoon who used to be Australian, but cynically switched nationalities for business purposes. Diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2000. Dead As A Dodo Louis Cypher Siegfried Baboon’s David Van Day Show

Murray, Bill Born 21 September 1950  (Wilmette, Illinois, USA) Comic actor of "Ghostbusters", "Groundhog Day" and "Lost In Translation" fame. Stiff As A Board

Musharraf, Pervez Born 11 August 1943  (Delhi, India) President of Pakistan, who survived two assassination attempts in as many months towards the end of 2003. Some believe al-Qaeda is on a mission to eliminate him at all costs. Bob Mugabe's Swingtime Band The Grey Horde Grim Rita Just Resting My Eyes The Last Gasp Louis Cypher Mr C The Newstreet Boys Death Squad Oh...If Only It Were True  Stab In The Dark

Musial, Stan Born 21 November 1920  (Donora, Pennsylvania, USA) Legendary baseball player who enjoyed a 22-year career (1941-63) with the St Louis Cardinals. Atsusdead

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