Celebrity picks for Derby Dead Pool 2004: B

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Bacall, Lauren Born 16 September 1924  (New York, New York, USA) Actress (The Big Sleep, How To Marry A Millionaire, Murder On The Orient Express etc etc), born Betty Joan Perske. Formerly married to Humphrey Bogart. Still working after 60 years in movies. Juicy Janny Vassili Zaitsev

Baker, Tom Born 20 January 1934  (Liverpool, England) Actor who played Doctor Who from 1974-81. Dead As A Dodo

Baldwin, Alec Born 3 April 1958  (Massapequa, Long Island, New York, USA) Hollywood actor, whose breakthrough year was 1988, when he starred in no fewer than 5 films. Went on to appear in The Hunt For Red October, Glengarry Glen Ross and Mercury Rising among others, and was married to Kim Basinger for 8 years. His brothers William, Stephen and Daniel are also screen actors. The Driller Killer

Ball, Lesley (Died in 2004) Born 6 January 1946  (place of birth unknown) Wife of former England footballer Alan Ball. Suffering from ovarian cancer. Died in May 2004 but no obit. Ashes To Ashes Dust Or Bust  One Foot In The Grave

Barbera, Joseph (Died in 2006) Born 24 March 1911  (New York, New York, USA) The surviving half of the Hanna-Barbera cartoon-producing duo. Worked with William Hanna at MGM before they decided to go it alone in 1956, and ended up creating Scooby-Doo, Yogi Bear and The Flintstones, among others. Alf Boggis  Eat My Dust StuPerks

Barker, Ronnie (Died in 2005) Born 25 September 1929  (Bedford, Bedfordshire, England) TV comedian (The Two Ronnies) and comic actor (the classics Open All Hours and Porridge, and the frankly terrible Clarence). Four candles? Ferret's Foragers I'm Feeling Better...

Barrett, Syd (Died in 2006) Born 6 January 1946  (Cambridge, England) Pink Floyd's original frontman, guitarist and songwriter. Born Roger Keith Barrett, he went to school in Cambridge (where he was given the nickname Syd) with Roger Waters and Dave Gilmour. In 1965, he was a founder member of the group, which went through several name changes before settling on a combination of the names of two American bluesmen, Pink Anderson and Floyd Council. However, the other band members booted him out in 1968, his erratic LSD-induced behaviour having got right on their tits. Alison The Assassin

Barrymore, Michael Born 4 May 1952  (Bermondsey, London, England) Entertainer and game show host, born Kiernan Michael Parker. In March 2001, an unfortunate incident involving a dead homosexual in his swimming pool wrecked his career and made some DDPers feel that suicide may be on the cards. The Driller Killer Juicy Janny TiM r Vassili Zaitsev

Bassey, Shirley Born 8 January 1937  (Cardiff, Wales) Singer who had several hits in the 1950s and '60s, as well as singing the theme tunes to 3 James Bond films. Had a minor comeback in the late '90s as an ironic cult heroine. Lyn's Down and Under

Baxter, Raymond (Died in 2006) Born 25 January 1922  (Ilford, Essex, England) Former World War II fighter pilot and presenter of BBC TV science programme "Tomorrow's World". Big Iain Cefor Cat Drunkasaskunk

Beefheart, Captain (Died in 2010) Born 15 January 1941  (Glendale, California, USA) Musician, born Don Glen Vliet (later changed to Don van Vliet). Teenage friend of Frank Zappa, and, like Zappa, didn't enjoy much commercial success, but he and his Magic Band influenced many other artists. Big Iain

Benkner, Charlotte  Born 16 November 1889  (Leipzig, Germany) Died 14 May 2004  (Youngstown, Ohio, USA) Age at death: 114   Ohio resident who held the title of world's oldest living person from November 2003 to March 2004, when it was discovered that a woman in Puerto Rico was a few weeks older than her. Alf Boggis Ashes To Ashes Dust Or Bust One Foot In The Grave Rude Kid TiM r

Bentsen, Lloyd (Died in 2006) Born 11 February 1921  (Mission, Texas, USA) Decorated WWII pilot, US senator for Texas, and Secretary of the Treasury under the Clinton government. JoeRam

Bergman, Ingmar (Died in 2007) Born 14 July 1918  (Uppsala, Uppland, Sweden) Scriptwriter and film director. Has been married 5 times, and has at least 8 children, of whom 4 also work in the film industry. Eat My Dust Ed K

Bernhard of the Netherlands, Prince  Born 29 June 1911  (Jena, Germany) Died 1 December 2004  (Utrecht, Netherlands) Age at death: 93  (read death notice) Member of the German nobility, born with the incredibly pretentious name of Bernhard Leopold Friedrich Eberhard Julius Kurt Karl Gottfried Peter zu Lippe-Biesterfeld. Married Princess Juliana, the heiress to the Dutch throne, in 1937, having been conveniently granted Dutch nationality the previous year, à la Phil the Greek. Juliana became Queen in 1948, and abdicated in 1980. Bernhard was thought to be the last surviving WWII Commander-in-Chief. The Vyrdolak Whitaker's Choice

Best, George (Died in 2005) Born 22 May 1946  (Belfast, Northern Ireland) Boozy, womanising ex-Manchester United and Northern Ireland footballer, who famously claimed to have slept with 3 Miss Worlds. Underwent a successful liver transplant in July 2002, but has been hitting the bottle big time again since then, and so remains a DDP favourite. Alison The Assassin  Are You Here About The Penguins?  The Coffin-Dodgers Dave's Dead, Aye Dead Drunk Ed K The Happy Desk Henry's Half-Dead Heroes Lyn's Down and Under  The Raven Rude Kid Siegfried Baboon Spetsnaz Spade TiM r

Bezzerides, A. I. (Died in 2007) Born 9 August 1908  (California, USA) Screenwriter, responsible for classic Western movies "Rawhide", "Bonanza" and "The Virginian". Octopus of Odstock

Biggs, Ronnie (Died in 2013) Born 8 August 1929  (Lambeth, London, England) Sentenced to 30 years for his part in the 1963 Great Train Robbery, but escaped from Wandsworth Prison after only 15 months and ended up living in Brazil, from where he could not be extradited. He returned to Britain in 2001 for medical treatment and was promptly arrested. Since then, he has suffered two heart attacks, three strokes, two epileptic seizures and pneumonia, which have apparently left him partially paralysed and barely able to speak. Apart from that, though, he's in great health. Alf Boggis Deathlist.net  Drunkasaskunk  Ed K Jaguar X-types Jesus Jones JoeRam One Foot In The Grave Otis, You Want A Treat? Siegfried Baboon Vassili Zaitsev

bin Laden, Osama (Died in 2011) Born 10 March 1957  (Jeddah, Saudi Arabia) 17th of about 52 (!) children of a multi-millionaire Saudi construction magnate, al-Qaeda terrorist leader bin Laden was already on the FBI's Ten Most Wanted Fugitives list, but on September 11th, 2001, he secured his position at no. 1 on this list. Despite this, he's a questionable DDP pick, due to the difficulty of establishing his whereabouts and hence whether he's alive or dead. Mr & Mrs Drummerboy Bob Mugabe’s Swingtime Band One Foot In The Grave Spetsnaz Spade

Bishop, Joey (Died in 2007) Born 3 February 1918  (The Bronx, New York, USA) Born Joseph Abraham Gottlieb. Last surviving member of the so-called Rat Pack (Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis Jr et al). Later hosted his own chat show on American TV. Credited with coining the phrase "son of a gun". Siegfried Baboon

Blackburn, Tony Born 29 January 1943  (Guildford, Surrey, England) Made a promising start to his career, joining offshore pirate station Radio Caroline in 1964 as Britain's youngest radio DJ, and in 1967 presented the first-ever show on Radio 1. However, he soon descended into the cheesy world of easy listening and painful banter, where he remains to this day. Lyn's Down and Under

Blaine, David Born 4 April 1973  (Brooklyn, New York, USA) Twat. Really, really annoying, attention-seeking, box-dwelling twat. Alf Boggis Dave's Dead, Aye Dead Drunk

Blair, Tony Born 6 May 1953  (Edinburgh, Scotland) MP for Sedgefield, County Durham since 1983, elected Labour leader in 1994 and Prime Minister in 1997. Not a popular DDP pick, as he's youngish and apparently in good health, but maybe he'll die of embarrassment if Cherie decides to sing in public again. Lyn's Down and Under Spetsnaz Spade

Blessed, Brian Born 9 October 1937  (Mexborough, Yorkshire, England) Large, bearded actor whose presence and booming voice has landed him parts in everything from Shakespeare adaptations to Robin Hood to Star Wars. Vassili Zaitsev

Bloodvessel, Buster Born 6 September 1958  (Hackney, London, England) 30-stone (420 lb) frontman of ska group Bad Manners. Collapsed and almost died during a gig in Italy in 2001, but little has been heard of him since. His real name is Douglas Trendle. I'm Feeling Better...

Bol, Manute (Died in 2010) Born 16 October 1962  (Khartoum, Sudan) 7'7" former NBA basketball player who was renowned for being able to slam-dunk without leaving the ground. Retired to his native Sudan and unsuccessfully attempted to fund the overthrow of the Islamic government, before being forced to flee back to the US. Mr C

Bongo, Ali (Died in 2009) Born in Bangalore, India  (exact date unknown) Magician, born William Wallace in 1929 - a direct descendant of the Scottish folk hero of the same name. Author and illustrator of several books on comedy magic. Cefor Cat

Booth, Tony Born 9 October 1931  (Liverpool, England) Political activist, actor (most notably in 'Till Death Us Do Part'), ex-alcoholic, ex-husband of the late Pat Phoenix and father-in-law of Tony Blair, whose wife Cherie is one of Booth's eight daughters. I'm Feeling Better...

Borgnine, Ernest (Died in 2012) Born 24 January 1917  (Hamden, Connecticut, USA) Five-times married, surprisingly prolific TV & film actor, whose portly stature ensured that he specialised in playing tough or just downright fat characters. Eat My Dust

Boycott, Geoff Born 21 October 1940  (Fitzwilliam, Yorkshire, England) Notoriously slow-scoring Yorkshire and England cricketer. Now an equally dull cricket commentator. Beans

Bradbury, Ray (Died in 2012) Born 22 August 1920  (Waukegan, Illinois, USA) Sci-fi author, best known for "Fahrenheit 451". The Vyrdolak

Brady, Ian Born 2 January 1938  (Glasgow, Scotland) Moors Murderer, in prison since 1966, having been caught just 4 weeks after the death penalty for murder was abolished in the UK. Has a tendency to go on somewhat half-hearted hunger strikes. Since the death of his accomplice, Myra Hindley, in 2002, DDP interest in him has picked up. Alison The Assassin Beans Big Iain Deathlist.net Ed K Juicy Janny

Brady, Sara Date and place of birth unknown Advocate of gun control ever since her husband Jim was seriously wounded in the 1981 assassination attempt on Ronald Reagan. Now in her mid-50s, and suffering from lung cancer. JoeRam

Brando, Marlon  Born 3 April 1924  (Omaha, Nebraska, USA) Died 1 July 2004  (Los Angeles, California, USA) Age at death: 80  (read death notice) Double Oscar-winning veteran actor ('A Streetcar Named Desire', 'The Godfather', 'Apocalypse Now', etc etc). Dave's Dead, Aye Dead Drunk I'm Feeling Better... TiM r

Branson, Sir Richard Born 18 July 1950  (Sharnley Green, Surrey, England) Entrepreneur since the age of 16, when he started a national student magazine. Now boss of the Virgin records/banking/airline/etc empire. Dave's Dead, Aye Dead Drunk Ferret's Foragers

Bremer, Paul Born 30 September 1941  (Hartford, Connecticut, USA) Amabssador and expert on terrorism who was appointed Director of Reconstruction and Humanitarian Assistance for post-war Iraq in May 2003. Siegfried Baboon

Brown, James (Died in 2006) Born 3 May 1933  (Macon, Georgia, USA) "Ow! I feel good!" yelled the Godfather of Soul on his 1966 hit "I Got You", but his subsequent years of ill health suggest he may have spoken too soon. The Driller Killer Rude Kid

Brown, June Born 16 February 1927  (Needham Market, Suffolk, England) Actress who plays Dot Cotton in EastEnders. Lyn's Down and Under

Bruce, Jack Born 14 May 1943  (Glasgow, Scotland) Former frontman of Cream, who also wrote most of their songs. Underwent a liver transplant in October 2003, after being diagnosed with cancer of the liver. Siegfried Baboon

Bruno, Frank Born 16 November 1961  (Hammersmith, London, England) Former WBC world heavyweight boxing champion and pantomime dame. Lost the plot somewhat after his wife left him, and was sectioned to a mental hospital in September 2003, although he was later released. Alison The Assassin Rude Kid

Bush, Jeb Born 11 February 1953  (Midland, Texas, USA) Governor of Florida since 1998, brother of Dubya and son of George snr. The redneck-sounding name Jeb in fact comes from his initials, his full name being John Ellis Bush. Naked Florida Gravediggers

Bush (jnr), George W. Born 6 July 1946  (New Haven, Connecticut, USA) 43rd and current President of the United States. What with allegations of vote-rigging, the events of 9/11, and the much-criticised war on Iraq, he hasn't exactly had the smoothest of rides. But he's still hanging on in there; as the man himself once said: "They misunderestimated me." Spetsnaz Spade

Bush (snr), George Born 12 June 1924  (Milton, Massachusetts, USA) Son of a senator and related to 4 previous US Presidents. Made his fortune in the oil industry and got involved in Texan politics before becoming US ambassador to the United Nations, vice-President under Ronald Reagan from 1980-88, and President from 1988-92. Was sometimes lambasted for not being overly bright, but then his son Dubya came along... The Coffin-Dodgers The Driller Killer  I'm Feeling Better... Juicy Janny

Butler-Sloss, Dame Elizabeth Born 10 August 1933  (place of birth unknown) Head of the Family Division of the Court of Appeal, which makes her the most senior family law judge in the UK. Witless Silence

Bygraves, Max (Died in 2012) Born 16 October 1922  (Rotherhithe, London, England) Wartime radio comedian, later turned stage entertainer, singer, and over-user of the phrase "I wanna tell you a story". The Happy Desk

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