Celebrity picks for Derby Dead Pool 2004: P

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Packer, Kerry Born 17 December 1937  (Sydney, New South Wales, Australia) Billionaire media mogul, whose empire was originally built on "Women's Weekly" magazine. In 1977 he enraged the "sporting establishment" with his breakaway World Series Cricket. He spent nine months in an iron lung at the age of six, as a result of catching polio, and spent six (or seven, depending who you believe) minutes clinically dead in 1990 following a heart attack (or stroke, depending who you believe). A compulsive gambler who surfaces in a news story every couple of years either winning, losing or betting some record amount in richly anecdotal circumstances. Ashes To Ashes Dust Or Bust

Page, Anita Born 4 August 1910  (Flushing, New York, USA) Actress, born Anita Pomares, who was a star of the silver screen in the 1920s and 1930s, playing opposite the likes of Joan Crawford, Buster Keaton and Douglas Fairbanks, Jr. She returned to acting some sixty years after retiring, and is still going strong... or is she? Eat My Dust

Page, Bettie Born 21 April 1923  (Nashville, Tennessee, USA) Arguably the most famous pin-up model in history, who "disappeared" from the public eye in 1957. The reclusive nature of her subsequent life has helped to fuel her status as a cult icon, though it's done nothing to boost her bank balance, by all accounts. Cefor Cat

Painting, Norman Born in Leamington Spa, Warwickshire, England  (exact date unknown) Actor, born some time in 1924, who has played the part of Phil Archer in BBC Radio 4's soap "The Archers" since 1950. And he's a vice-president of the Tree Council, apparently. One Foot In The Grave

Paisley, Rev Ian Born 6 April 1926  (Armagh, Northern Ireland) Loud-mouthed leader of Northern Ireland's Democratic Unionist Party and loud-mouthed leader of Northern Ireland's Free Presbyterian Church. Not to be confused with his son - Ian Paisley, Jnr. - who is also a member of the DUP. Cefor Cat Jaguar X-types Peter 'RIP' Trait

Palmer, Arnold Born 10 September 1929  (Latrobe, Pennsylvania, USA) Golf maestro, whose business interests include Arnold Palmer Enterprises, the Palmer Course Design Company, the Arnold Palmer Golf Management Company, and the Arnold Palmer Golf Academy (idea for a film). He also helped raise money for the foundation of Orlando's Arnold Palmer Hospital for Children and Women. Big Iain

Papon, Maurice Born 3 September 1910  (Gretz-Armainvilliers, France) Collaborator with the Nazis in France's wartime Vichy government. Helped to round up Jews for deportation to concentration camps. Conveniently started informing against the Nazis when it became obvious that they were losing the war. Found guilty of crimes against humanity in 1998 and sentenced to imprisonment, but freed on health grounds in September 2002. Drunkasaskunk Bob Mugabe’s Swingtime Band Octopus of Odstock The Raven

Parfitt, Rick Born 12 October 1948  (Woking, Surrey, England) Status to Francis Rossi's Quo; the pair of them have been belting out three-chord tricks since the 1960s, and continue to wear only blue jeans, white trainers and T-shirts. In 1997 Parfitt underwent quadruple heart bypass surgery, but was back on the road again within months. Alison The Assassin

Parks, Rosa Born 4 February 1913  (Tuskegee, Alabama, USA) The black woman who, in 1955, refused to be moved out of her seat for a white passenger, thereby sparking the Montgomery bus boycott and, ultimately, the dismantling of segregation in the USA. Naked Florida Gravediggers Time Is NOT On Our Side!

Parton, Dolly Born 19 January 1946  (Sevierville, Tennessee, USA) Country music singer whose name was used for the first cloned sheep because its genetic material was taken from a mammary gland. Lyn's Down and Under

Patch, Harry Born 17 June 1898  (Combe Down, Bath, England) WWI veteran. Gave vivid recollections in several documentaries, notably BBC's "The Trench". Ed K

Pavarotti, Luciano Born 12 October 1935  (Modena, Italy) Legendary tenor who became a father for the fourth time at the age of 67 (somewhat creepily, this new daughter will be younger than her niece). He has announced he will retire in 2005, on his 70th birthday. Are You Here About The Penguins?

Perrie, Lynne Born 7 April 1931  (Rotherham, Yorkshire, England) Actress who appeared in the film "Kes" and subsequently spent 23 years playing Ivy Brennan in British soap "Coronation Street". Real name Jean Dudley. Dead As A Dodo

Peterson, Oscar Born 15 August 1925  (Montreal, Canada) Jazz pianist whose recent autobiography is called "A Jazz Odyssey" - from which it's safe to conclude he's not seen "Spinal Tap". Still working today, though he has had problems with arthritis and suffered a stroke in 1993. Are You Here About The Penguins? TiM r

Philip, Prince Born 10 June 1921  (Corfu, Greece) Gaffe-prone "Phil the Greek" also has Danish and German blood. Ferret's Foragers The Happy Desk Jaguar X-types Juicy Janny TiM r

Phillips, Leslie Born 20 April 1924  (Tottenham, London, England) Comic actor who inherited the "Doctor in..." role from Dirk Bogarde and appeared in a number of the "Carry on..." films. Apparently he also plays the voice of "The Sorting Hat" in the "Harry Potter" movies, whatever that means. Are You Here About The Penguins? Ferret's Foragers

Pierre, The Abbé Born 5 August 1912  (Lyon, France) French Catholic priest and MP, born Henri-Antoine Groués. Former member of the Résistance and National Assembly. Founded the Emmaus Community in 1949 to help the homeless, and his work influenced people like Sue Ryder and Leonard Cheshire. Has somewhat dubious right-wing views. Whitaker's Choice

Pinochet, Augusto Born 25 November 1915  (Valparaíso, Chile) Former Chilean dictator, installed by a violent US-backed coup in 1973. His regime, finally ousted in 1988 (though he remained commander-in-chief of the army for a further 10 years), was responsible for thousands of murders and "disappearances". He survived an assassination attempt in 1986 and recently has been ruled physically and mentally unfit to stand trial, both in the UK (where he spent over a year under house arrest) and in Chile. So it seems he's probably got away with it all. Drunkasaskunk Jaguar X-types Mr C Bob Mugabe’s Swingtime Band One Foot In The Grave

Pinter, Harold Born 10 October 1930  (Hackney, London, England) Ground-breaking playwright ("The Caretaker" and "The Birthday Party" being his best-known works), stage director, and screenwriter (e.g. "The Last Tycoon" and "The French Lieutenant's Woman"). Having originally trained as an actor, he has recently taken up performing again, both on stage and in the occasional film (e.g. the dodgy 1999 adaptation of "Mansfield Park"). A campaigner for leftist political causes (despite accepting a CBE and a Companionship of Honour from the Queen), the heavy smoker was diagnosed with cancer of the oesophagus in 2002. Ed K Spetsnaz Spade

Ponti, Carlo Born 11 December 1912  (Magenta, Lombardy, Italy) Film producer, former business partner of Dino De Laurentiis, and husband of Sophia Loren. He switched his nationality to French to avoid various legal scrapes with the Italian authorities. Time Is NOT On Our Side!

Powell, Colin Born 5 April 1937  (New York, New York, USA) US Army general who worked under Bush I during Gulf War I, and later became Secretary of State under Bush II, taking the country into Gulf War II. Underwent surgery for prostate cancer in December 2003. Cannot pronounce his own name. The Driller Killer

Powers, Stefanie Born 2 November 1942  (Hollywood, California, USA) Appeared as Jennifer Hart alongside Robert Wagner in the TV series "Hart to Hart". Dead As A Dodo

Preston, Billy Born 2 September 1946  (Houston, Texas, USA) Pianist, singer and songwriter who has performed with the Beatles, the Stones, Christina Aguilera, and countless other rock, funk and soul acts. He spent much of the 1990s getting into trouble with the law for possession of cocaine, assault with a deadly weapon, violation of bail, and filling out false insurance claims. Had a kidney transplant in 2002. Otis, You Want A Treat?

Profumo, John Born 30 January 1915  (place of birth unknown) Secretary of State for War under Harold Macmillan. He resigned in 1963 following a notorious sex scandal involving 21-year-old call girl Christine Keeler, who had also slept with a Soviet attaché. Since then he has kept very quiet, apparently doing a lot of work for good causes - for example, since 1985 he has been president of Toynbee Hall, a charity serving the East London borough of Tower Hamlets. Eat My Dust

Prowse, David Born 1 July 1935  (Bristol, England) Former weightlifting champion who played the body of Darth Vader in the first three (or last three, depending how you look at it) "Star Wars" films. Famously annoyed to discover that George Lucas had got James Earl Jones to do the voice, without bothering to tell him. And even when the evil tyrant was unmasked in "The Return of the Jedi", Lucas got a third actor (Sebastian Shaw) to play Lord Vader's face. Henry's Half-Dead Heroes I'm Feeling Better...

Proxmire, William Born 11 November 1915  (Lake Forest, Illinois, USA) Former Democratic Senator from the state of Wisconsin. Suffering from Alzheimer's disease. Mr C The Raven

Pryor, Richard Born 1 December 1940  (Peoria, Illinois, USA) Influential and foul-mouthed stand-up comic who went on to play film roles ranging from the excellent ("Stir Crazy") to the execrable ("Another You"). Attempted suicide in 1980, though for the purposes of "publicity" this was presented as an accidental fire started while freebasing coke. Presumably he then fired his PR agency, if that's their idea of a cover-up. Has suffered from multiple sclerosis for over 15 years, though in 1997 he still managed to put in a good performance in David Lynch's "Lost Highway". The Coffin-Dodgers

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