Celebrity picks for Derby Dead Pool 2007: K

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Kabila, Joseph Born 4 June 1971  (Hewa Bora, Fizi, Democratic Republic of Congo) President of the Democratic Republic of Congo since 2001, following the assassination of his father. Ailing Rulers of Africa

Kadyrov, Ramzan Born 5 October 1976  (Tsenteroi, Chechnya) Former Chechen rebel, now president of the country. Five-Fingered Hand of Death Old Folks' Graveyard R.I.P. It Up And Start Again ...the Salmon Mousse!!! Wake Up And Smell The Coffin

Kalashnikov, Mikhail Born 10 November 1919  (Kurya, Siberia) Military engineer who designed the the AK-47 assault rifle which has become synonymous with his name. In 2004, he began marketing his own brand of vodka; the two products perhaps don't make the best of bedfellows. Mr C The Grey Horde We'reAllGonnaDie!

Kallen, Kitty Born 25 May 1922  (Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA) Big band singer of the 1940s & 1950s, but whose star has waned since then. Drunkasaskunk

Kao Se Tseien, Nicholas  Born 15 January 1897  (Fuzhou, Fuijan, China) Died 11 December 2007  (Hong Kong) Age at death: 110  (read death notice) Roman Catholic Priest based in Hong Kong - the oldest ever priest, and the oldest person ever to have a cataract operation. But I'm Not Dead Yet

Karadzic, Radovan Born 19 June 1945  (Petnijca, Savnik, Montenegro) Former Serbian leader, now wanted for war crimes and currently in hiding. The Delightful Dead

Karcher, Carl Born 16 January 1917  (Sandusky, Ohio, USA) American restaurateur. Started the Hardee's, Carl's Jr., La Salsa, and Green Burrito restaurant chains. Gone For Good

Karzai, Hamid Born 24 December 1957  (Kandahar, Afghanistan) Pashtun leader whose anti-Soviet, anti-Taliban views persuaded the Americans to install him as leader of Afghanistan's interim government in December 2001. Much more importantly, he has won praise from the Gucci fashion house for his trademark green coat and rather funky ceremonial hat, which he made himself from his own facial hair. Better Red Than Dead Circling The Drain Death From Above Henry's Half-Dead Heroes Kackers United Knowing My Luck I'll Probably Reincarnate As A Mayfly! Oh...If Only It Were True Shut Up, Ya Dead Git! Yerttle

Katona, Kerry Born 6 September 1980  (Warrington, Cheshire, England) Former topless model and member of Atomic Kitten who admitted to never having sung a note on any of the band's hits. Now a divorced mother of two in her mid-20s, the vacuous, talentless bint amazingly has the gall to hold herself up as a role model for young women. Oh, and she urges parents to feed their kids on processed "ADHD in a Box" ready meals from Iceland. The Caulkhead Coffin-Kickers

Kaunda, Kenneth Born 28 April 1924  (Chinsali, Zambia) President of Zambia from 1964-91. Ailing Rulers of Africa

Keating, Dan  Born 2 January 1902  (Ballygamboon, County Kerry, Republic of Ireland) Died 2 October 2007  (County Kerry, Republic of Ireland) Age at death: 105  (read death notice) Lifelong Republican and patron of Sinn Féin. Fought against the British in the 1919-21 Anglo-Irish War (and was thought to be the last Irish survivor of this war) and was also an IRA bomber in the 1930s & '40s. We Spin Terror

Keaton, Michael Born 5 September 1951  (Coraopolis, Pennsylvania, USA) American actor, a former Batman. Also in "Beetlejuice". Taking The Michael

Keeler, Christine Born 22 February 1942  (Uxbridge, Middlesex, England) Former model and dancer who brought down the career of John Profumo and, eventually, the reign of PM Harold Macmillan. Flanges Unlucky In Life

Kelly, David Born 11 July 1929  (Dublin, Republic of Ireland) Played Michael O'Sullivan in the 1998 comedy hit "Waking Ned" (aka "Waking Ned Devine"), and O'Reilly, the cowboy builder in "Fawlty Towers". A Dingo Ate My Baby Living In A Box Pushing Up The Daisies The Old G1ts

Kendall, Kenneth Born 7 August 1924  (India) Newsreader and "Treasure Hunt" presenter. 1 Is Dead Chuffed Crem De La Crem Nice Little Urner

Kenna, Edward Born 6 July 1919  (Hamilton, Victoria, Australia) Another of the relatively few living VC holders, won during World War 2. They All End Up Smelling The Same, Anyway

Kennedy, Ethel Born 11 April 1928  (Chicago, Illinois, USA) Widow of Robert Kennedy. Perhaps the most cursed of all the Kennedys, as her parents, brother, husband, sister-in-law and two sons all died early, most in accidents. Amazing that she's made it this far, in a way. Lady Bird Johnson Must Die

Kennedy, George Born 18 February 1925  (New York, New York, USA) Tall, well-built bit-part actor who has been in over 100 films and 50 TV programmes, but, somewhat depressingly for him, remains best known as Leslie Nielsen's police squad sidekick in the three Naked Gun movies. Kiss of Death Lillith's List No Longer With U.S. Pushing Up The Daisies Gone For Good

Kennedy, Ludovic Born 3 November 1919  (Edinburgh, Scotland) Writer and broadcaster - former presenter of Independent Television News and regular contributor to Newsweek magazine. Best Left To Rest Cefor's Cremains Death or Die Trying Pink Panther (dead-dead, dead-dead) The Final Curtain Call TiMr Whittaker's Choice

Kennedy, Ray Born 28 July 1951  (Seaton Delaval, Northumberland, England) Former Liverpool and England footballer, now suffering from Parkinson's Disease. The Harbingers Of Condolence Justpat's Carkers

Kennedy, Senator Edward Born 22 February 1932  (Brookline, Massachusetts, USA) US Senator - brother of JFK and Rosemary Kennedy. A Dingo Ate My Baby Croaker De'Ath and the Prognosticators Stahlmatt The Mighty 104s

Kennedy Shriver, Eunice Born 10 July 1921  (Brookline, Massachusetts, USA) Fifth of the nine Kennedy children, sister to John F., Robert F. and Edward M., wife of Robert Sargent Shriver, former VP candidate, and founder of the Special Olympics. Aardvark Dead On Spiro's Toe Tagging Tentoesup The Conqueror Worm

Kent, Barbara Born 16 December 1906  (Gasby, Alberta, Canada) Actress in 1920s and '30s silent movies. The End of the World As We Know It

Kercheval, Ken Born 15 July 1935  (Wolcottville, Indiana, USA) American actor, probably best remembered as Cliff Barnes in "Dallas". The Royton Rovers (Rita, Dave & Kevin Too...)

Kerimov, Suleiman Born 12 March 1966  (Derbent, Dagestan, Russia) Russian billionaire businessman, who was badly injured in a 2006 car crash and is making a slow recovery. Already Dead The Raven

Kerkorian, Kirk Born 6 June 1917  (Fresno, California, USA) Reclusive Armenian-American billionaire, responsible for making Las Vegas the entertainment venue it is today. Gravediggin' Grandaddy The Old G1ts

Kermode, Sir Frank Born 29 November 1919  (Douglas, Isle of Man, England) Manx-born literary critic. Pooil Vaaish

Kerr, Deborah  Born 30 September 1921  (Helensburgh, Scotland) Died 16 October 2007  (Suffolk) Age at death: 86  (read death notice) Stage and screen actress who went from playing prim-and-proper British ladies to an adultress in 'From Here To Eternity'. Another notable role was that of Mrs Anna in 'The King And I'. Quit movies in 1968, apparently appalled at the explicit sex and violence of the day. Crem De La Crem Dead, Dead And Never Called Me Mother Eternity Tours Naked Florida Gravediggers Reapin' Time They're Dead, Y'Know! Whoopass United

Kevorkian, Dr Jack Born 26 May 1928  (Pontiac, Michigan, USA) Leading proponent of voluntary euthanasia. There'd be a certain irony if he got the chance to try it out for himself this year... Above Average For Norfolk Benedict's Class of '07 Bleedin' Heart Circling The Drain Killers Of Hope  Diedie Mydarlings  Eejit Godot's Choir Invisible Gravediggin' Grandaddy Heads in a Bag Impaled On The Antlers Of Doom I Smell Dead People It Tolls For Thee JoeRam Lothar's Team Lucky In A Hefty Bag Mean Machine  Meet Your Maker Morbid United FC My Brain Hurts Noah Reason And The Dirt Naps  Noz4news Phreebyrd  Schadenfreude Slobodan Milosevic's Medicine Cabinet The Mighty 104s The Dead Club  The Grey Horde The Last Gasp There's A Mr Death At The Door, Something About The Reaping Wake Up And Smell The Coffin  Wormer, He's a Dead Man! Marmalard, Dead! Niedermeyer...

Keyes, Evelyn Born 20 November 1919  (Port Arthur, Texas, USA) American actress, best known for playing Sue-Ellen O'Hara in "Gone With The Wind". Whoopass United

Khabra, Piara  Born 20 November 1924  (Punjab, India) Died 19 June 2007  (London, England) Age at death: 82  (read death notice) Labour MP for Ealing Southall since 1992, he became the oldest MP in the House of Commons. Pry It From His Cold Dead Fingers You Mean He's Not Already?

Khamenei, Ayatollah Ali Born 17 July 1939  (Mashhad, Iran) Former President of Iran, and current Supreme Leader, since 1989. David the Aspie Dead Ends Meet Your Maker The Last Gasp The Raven Wormer, He's a Dead Man! Marmalard, Dead! Niedermeyer...

Khan, Abdul Qadeer Born 1 April 1936  (Bhopal, India) Controversial scientist, the founder of Pakistan's nuclear programme & a national hero. Under house arrest since 2004, he is also fighting cancer. Canadian Paul Diepod Shuffle The Raven

Kibaki, Mwai Born 15 November 1931  (Gatuyiani, Nyeri, Kenya) Current President of Kenya, since 2002. Ailing Rulers of Africa For Those About To Croak: Fire - We Salute You

Kiel, Richard Born 13 September 1939  (Detroit, Michigan, USA) Absurdly tall (7'2") actor who played steel-toothed baddie Jaws in the James Bond films 'The Spy Who Loved Me' and 'Moonraker'. Alright For Toasting Dodo, Di, Dodi, Dando...Dido? H5N1 Norwegian Blue Gone For Good The Vyrdolak

Kilminster, Ian Born 24 December 1945  (Stoke-on-Trent, Staffordshire, England) Warty-faced rocker Lemmy out of Motorhead. Deathpig P.M.T. (Pre Mortem Tension) Redmyst XX Gone For Good

Kilroy-Silk, Robert Born 19 May 1942  (Birmingham, England) Politician (now with the UKIP, formerly with Labour) and former talk show host. Outspoken, overtanned & not particulary liked by anyone bar himself. Barry Chuckle Cop It

King, B. B. Born 16 September 1925  (Itta Bena, Mississippi, USA) American blues guitarist and songwriter. One of King's trademarks is naming his guitars "Lucille", a tradition that began in the 1950s. Carrion Luggage Alright For Toasting Benedict's Class of '07 Best Left To Rest Compost Corner Crem De La Crem Dark Brown And Dead  Dead Mingers Dispatch Without Delay Fallen Sparrow ILikeyKilly Part II Island of Death NakedRicci's Gothic Apocalypse No Longer With U.S. Overandout Pan Breid Spiro's Toe Tagging Swami's House of Soon To Be Wax Thanatopsis The Long-Awaited Return of the Dorset Jury

King, Ben E. Born 28 September 1938  (Henderson, North Carolina, USA) Singer & songwriter, best known for his song "Stand By Me". Flanges Unlucky In Life

King, Jefferson Born 1 July 1961  (London, England) Was "Shadow" on the ITV show "Gladiators" before getting the sack for using performance-enhancing drugs. Dysfunctional

King, Jonathan Born 9 December 1944  (Godalming, Surrey, England) Musician and TV presenter who was sentenced to 7 years in jail in 2001 for sexually abusing teenage boys. Are They Dead Yet? The Crematorium Cheerleaders

King, Larry Born 19 November 1933  (Brooklyn, New York, USA) American broadcaster, who hosts a world-famous chat show. The Texas Reaper Club

King, Stephen Born 21 September 1947  (Portland, Oregon, USA) Horror writer - 'Carrie', 'The Shining', 'It', 'Misery' etc. Heaven 17 (+3)

Kissinger, Henry Born 23 May 1923  (Fürth, Germany) Secretary of State in the US government under Presidents Nixon and Ford. Shared the 1973 Nobel Peace Prize for helping to broker a ceasefire in Vietnam - ironic, given that he'd been part of the government that started the war in the first place. Bob Mugabe's Swingtime Band Dead Beats Death Dealers Records Presents: Tone Loc and DJ Lyle For Those About To Croak: Fire - We Salute You In Death Do Us Fart Knock Knock... Oh...If Only It Were True Spiro's Toe Tagging The Grey Horde We'reAllGonnaDie!

Kitt, Eartha Born 26 January 1927  (Columbia, South Carolina, USA) Singer/actresssssssss. Church(yard) On A Hill E-Brake's Fantastic List Grassyknoll Grayson It Tolls For Thee Naked Florida Gravediggers Swami's House of Soon To Be Wax

Klugman, Jack Born 27 April 1922  (Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA) TV actor, best known as Oscar Madison in 'The Odd Couple' and the eponymous Dr Quincy in 'Quincy'. Had part of his larynx removed in the mid-1990s as a result of throat cancer. A Kick In The Ghoulies Boring Ole' Six The Harbingers Of Condolence Killers Of Hope Foxy T Godot's Choir Invisible Grassyknoll Grayson In Eternum+'s Wrinkly Dicks Lived So Let's Die Team DJB Gone For Good The Coffin-Dodgers The Morbid Postman Too Late For Casualty Whale Oil Beef Hooked

Knievel, Evel  Born 17 October 1938  (Butte, Montana, USA) Died 30 November 2007  (Clearwater, Florida, USA) Age at death: 69  (read death notice) Motorbike stuntman, born Robert Craig Knievel, who was listed in the Guinness Book of Records for having broken the most number of bones in his body. Wisely retired and took up painting after an attempted jump over a tank full of sharks went badly wrong in 1976. Above Average For Norfolk Already Dead Carkers' Convention 2007 Coffin Fit Crusher's Corpses Killers Of Hope Dirty Harry's Dead Pool  Dr Death's Diabolical Dice Of Doom Dysfunctional  Florida Gator Bait Go Fish Grim Rita Heroes of Hades International House of Death  It's Time To Say Goodbye Morbid United FC My Brain Hurts Noah Reason And The Dirt Naps One Foot In The Grave Queen of the Iceni R.I.P. It Up And Start Again Slave To The Grave STAB_in_the_DARK The Time Is Nigh Two Feet in the Grave

Knight, Marion 'Suge' Born 19 April 1965  (Compton, California, USA) Co-founder of rap & hip-hop label Death Row Records. Once allegedly dangled Vanilla Ice out of a seventh-storey window by his ankles; his only mistake was hauling him back in again. Dark Brown And Dead

Knox-Johnston, Sir Robin Born 17 March 1939  (Putney, London, England) First man to sail around the world single-handedly & non-stop. ProDeathCrew

Knoxville, Johnny Born 11 March 1971  (Knoxville, Tennesee, USA) Co-creator & star of "Jackass". Dead or No Dead

Kohl, Helmut Born 3 April 1930  (Ludwigshafen am Rhein, Germany) Former Chancellor of Germany between 1982 & 1998. Now drags his enormous bulk around the world attending state functions. Kackers United Stahlmatt

Kohlman, Lynn Born 12 August 1946  (New York, New York, USA) Fashion model & photographer, now suffering from cancer. My Brain Hurts The Doffin' Codgers

Koirala, Girija Prasad Born in Tadi, Bihar, India  (exact date unknown) Four times (and current) Prime Minister of Nepal. Born 1925. The Grey Horde The Living End

Koop, Dr C. Everett Born 14 October 1916  (Brooklyn, New York, USA) Surgeon General of the United States from 1982-89, under Ronald Reagan's presidency. Kiss of Death

Korchnoi, Viktor Born 23 May 1931  (St. Petersburg, Russia) Chess Grandmaster, still playing. Now of Swiss citizenship. The Grey Horde

Korman, Harvey Born 15 February 1927  (Chicago, Illinois, USA) Gangly American TV comic. Also starred in Mel Brooks' "Blazing Saddles". The Vyrdolak

Kovtun, Dmitry Date and place of birth unknown Russian businessman and former spy who met with ex-spy Alexander Litvinenko just before the latter became ill and died. Born 1965. Killers Of Hope Dead Men Walking Thank You, Now Buh-Bye

Kowalski, Wladek 'Killer' Born 13 October 1926  (Windsor, Ontario, Canada) Canadian wrestler, in the early days of the sport's televised era. Daisy Pushers

Kozulin, Aleksander Born 25 November 1955  (Minsk, Belarus) Leader of one of Belarus' main opposition parties - an admirable, but not a particulary safe job, due to President Lukashenko's hard-line regime. Drunkasaskunk

Kramer, Larry Born 25 June 1935  (Bridgeport, Connecticut, USA) Dramatist, author & gay rights activist. Going Underground

Kranz, Eugene F. Born 17 August 1933  (Toledo, Ohio, USA) Retired NASA flight director and manager. Kranz, who served as a flight director during Project Gemini and Project Apollo, is renowned for his trademark buzz-cut hairstyle and the wearing of white vests of different styles and materials whenever his "White Team" was on duty during missions, but was best known for his role in saving the crew of Apollo 13. Vassili Zaitsev

Kresge, George Joseph Born 12 January 1935  (Montclair, New Jersey, USA) Stage & TV magician in the US, normally just billed as "Kreskin". Mr. Yuck

Kristal, Hilly  Born in New Jersey, USA  (exact date unknown) Died 28 August 2007  (New York, New York, USA) Age at death: 75  (read death notice) Founder of New York's legendary CBGB (Country, Bluegrass and Blues) nightclub. Credited with launching the careers of the Ramones, Blondie and Talking Heads among others. Born 1932, exact date unknown. Noah Reason And The Dirt Naps The Living End

Kristel, Sylvia Born 28 September 1952  (Utrecht, Netherlands) Actress, model & sex symbol of the 1970s. Clathrate Gun

Kugel, Cole  Born 14 March 1902  (nr. Lamont, Oklahoma, USA) Died 18 June 2007  (Denver, Colorado, USA) Age at death: 105  (read death notice) Was the world's oldest qualified and practising pilot until he was disqualified from flying on health grounds in 2001, aged 99. Fallen Sparrow

Kulimoetoke II, Tomasi  Born 26 July 1918  (place of birth unknown) Died 7 May 2007  (Wallis and Futuna) Age at death: 88  (read death notice) The 50th King of Uvea, which, apparently, is a traditional kingdom in the French territory of Wallis and Futuna in the South Pacific. R.I.P. It Up And Start Again

Kyi, Aung San Suu Born 19 June 1945  (Rangoon, Burma) Burmese pro-democracy activist. Whittaker's Choice

Kyle, Jeremy Born in Reading, Berkshire, England  (exact date unknown) ITV’s own ringmaster of the proletariat offers indulgent, self-serving entertainment to the nation’s legions of kept middle-class housewives, students and the retired. Profound absence of opportunity and lack of a basic education are no defence against Kyle's non-unique brand of self-righteous, sanctimonious life coaching, the like of which can be found regularly in Linda Lee-Potter's Daily Mail column. In Bed With Maradona

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