Celebrity picks for Derby Dead Pool 2005: J

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Jackson, Michael Born 29 August 1958  (Gary, Indiana, USA) Once a cute kid in a group with his brothers, then a hugely successful pop star in his own right, now a flaky-faced, monkey-loving, baby-dangling, allegedly kiddie-fiddling one-man freak show. B1G-5PUD The Driller Killer Heaven Can't Wait 'til Another Day In Bed With Maradona The Last Gasp Louis Cypher The Melonfarmers Oh...If Only It Were True Rebecca The Reaper  Simon Says 'Die, You Fools, Die' Stab In The Dark TiM r Toasted Brown Bread

James, P. D. Born 3 August 1920  (Oxford, England) Author of mystery novels. Diet Of Worms Not Dead Yet

Jaruzelski, General Wojciech Born 6 July 1923  (Kurow, Poland) Joined the Polish army during WWII, and turned to politics in the 1960s. Rose through the ranks of the Communist Party to become National Secretary (President of Poland in all but name) in 1981, just as the Solidarity movement was heating up. Pitted his trademark sunglasses against Lech Walesa's moustache and lost. Removed from office in 1990, but has been too unwell to face trial ever since. Bob Mugabe's Swingtime Band The Conqueror Worm

Jason, David Born 2 February 1940  (Edmonton, London, England) Comedy actor, best known as Granville in 'Open All Hours' and Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter in 'Only Fools and Horses'. Even after a decade, it's still hard not to smirk at his supposedly serious role as Detective Inspector Jack Frost in 'A Touch of Frost'. B1G-5PUD

Jeffries, Lionel Born 10 June 1926  (London, England) Actor who specialised in playing stereotypical eccentric English gentlemen, such as Grandpa Potts in "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang". The Doom & Gloom Room

Jenkins, Sgt Charles Born 18 February 1940  (Rich Square, North Carolina, USA) US soldier who defected to North Korea in 1965. Bob Mugabe's Swingtime Band

John Paul II, Pope  Born 18 May 1920  (Wadowice, Poland) Died 2 April 2005  (Vatican City, Rome, Italy) Age at death: 84  (read death notice) Born Karol Joseph Wojtyla. A sportsman in his youth, but decided to carve out a career in the Catholic church. Ordained a priest in 1946, archbishop of Krakow in 1964, and Pope in 1978. His frailty had become increasingly obvious in recent years, and made him a perennial DDP favourite, but he continued to tantalise us all by hanging on in there before finally meeting his maker in April '05. The 104s Alison The Assassin Already Dead And Resurrected Atsusdead Bazzilliant  Big Iain Bleedin' Heart Bob Mugabe's Swingtime Band Bone Collector (Dave) Brown Bread Bucket Kickers The Buddy Holly Flying Experience Church(yard) On The Hill The Coffin Boffins Condoleezza's Harbingers of Notapotato The Conqueror Worm Crem De La Crem Dave's Dead, Aye Dead Drunk Dead In Arizona Deadknobs And Doomed Picks DeadOnArrival Dead Ringers  Deathlist.net Diet Of Worms Dr Death's Diabolical Dice Of Doom The Driller Killer Mr & Mrs Drummerboy Dysfunctional Eat My Dust Eejit  Fallen Sparrow Five-Fingered Hand Of Death George Lass and the Gravelings Globaltruth The Grey Horde Grim Rita Grizly Heaven Can't Wait 'til Another Day Holicman FT Honez Impaled On The Antlers Of Doom I Smell Dead People Jaguar X-Types Jesus Jones Just Resting My Eyes Knockin' On Satan's Door The Last Gasp  Team Lightning  Living In A Box The Long-Awaited Return of The Plymouth Jury Mean Machine Meet Your Maker Mr C Naked Florida Gravediggers  The Newstreet Boys Death Squad Now The Time Is Near Octopus of Odstock Offaly Bad Taste Oh...If Only It Were True One Foot In The Grave Pining For The Fjords Pooil Vaaish Peter 'RIP' Trait Puzlman's Passing Picks Ready For The Box Rebecca The Reaper Reddmyst 20 Rest In Peace The Royton Rovers (Rita, Dave & Kevin Too…) Rude Kid See, I Told You I Was Sick! Siegfried Baboon’s David Van Day Show Simon Says 'Die, You Fools, Die' Slave to the Grave Stab In The Dark TiM r Toasted Brown Bread T. Rex U The Undertaker  The Vyrdolak We Don't Want Any Bouncebackability We Spin Terror The Wompons  Worm Food Youth In Asia Hotline

Johnson, Holly Born 19 February 1960  (Khartoum, Sudan) African-born former frontman of '80s Scouse popsters Frankie Goes To Hollywood. Was diagnosed with HIV in the late '80s, but treatment has kept it at bay ever since, and he continues to work in the music industry. Better Late Than Never Pooil Vaaish

Johnson, Lady Bird Born 22 December 1912  (Karnack, Texas, USA) Born Claudia Alta Taylor. Widow of former US President Lyndon B. Johnson. The 104s Already Dead And Resurrected Bada Bada Bada Bada Bing  Bleedin' Heart Bob Mugabe's Swingtime Band But I'm Not Dead Yet Dead In Arizona The Doffin' Codgers Grim Rita Heaven Can't Wait 'til Another Day JoeRam Team Lightning The Long-Awaited Return of The Plymouth Jury Puzlman's Passing Picks Rude Kid Slave to the Grave Time Is NOT On Our Side! The Undertaker The Vyrdolak Youth In Asia Hotline

Johnson, Magic Born 14 August 1959  (Lansing, Michigan, USA) HIV-positive former basketball player. DeadOnArrival

Johnson, Van Born 25 August 1916  (Newport, Rhode Island, USA) Big-screen actor of the 1940s and '50s, particularly in war films and MGM musicals. Octopus of Odstock

Johnstone, Jimmy 'Jinky' Born 30 September 1944  (Viewpark, Lanarkshire, Scotland) Former Celtic and Scotland footballer, much admired for his darting runs through opposition defences. Already Dead And Resurrected Deadknobs And Doomed Picks

Jolie, Angelina Born 4 June 1975  (Los Angeles, California, USA) Lara Croft actress. Bleedin' Heart

Jones, K. C. Born 25 May 1932  (Taylor, Texas, USA) Basketball player/coach. Bada Bada Bada Bada Bing

Jones, Tom Born 7 June 1940  (Pontypridd, Wales) Gravelly-voiced, hirsute Welsh singer, inexplicably attractive to ladies of a certain age. Lived So Let's Die

Jong-Il, Kim Born 16 February 1941  (Khabarovsk, Siberia, USSR) "Dear Leader" (a.k.a. tinpot dictator) of North Korea. DeadOnArrival  Now The Time Is Near

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