Carlos Menem


Former Argentine President from 1990 to 2001, Carlos Menem, has died aged 90 after seemingly suffering from every ailment known to man. In recent years he had suffered heart problems, lung problems, liver problems, stroke problems, crocodile problems, and a co-ordinated suicide attack on his home by a passing asteroid. Former political prisoner Carlos Menem was elected as a centrist who promised little (much like Clinton), but who struggled with the financial realities of the job (also like Clinton). Like Bill Clinton, his enemies suggested even more nefarious wrong doing, and like Clinton, he had an affair with Linda Tri… I’ve taken this analogy too far.

It is arguable that Menem is actually one of the better Argentine Presidents in living memory. But when that includes Videla and Galtieri, you have to think: poor fuckers. Unlike many of his predecessors he was actually elected democratically, a high bar by the time period. His time in office was known for Menemism politics (really not helping that Muppets meme, guys) in which privitisation was key in trying to save an economy unstable after years of dictatorship and the Falklands War.

Menem increased the number of Supreme Court Judges (just an idea, Joe), re-established diplomatic ties with the US and UK, made peace with Chile, and instituted widespread welfare reforms. He also ran gun smuggling, may have covered up a journalist’s murder, and had his own personal zoo while President.  I did say better by comparison!

Menem was also charged with holding illegal funds in a Swiss bank account. However the courts agreed that the money was just resting in his account. He was still being chased up for the whole weapons dealing thing when he died, having remained as a Senator in the Argentina parliament as that gave you immunity from jail time.

Such was the state of Menem’s health, everyone and their dog picked him. This includes Carkers Convention, Bleaching the bottom of the Barrell, Poochie, John Key, Misers, Pan Breed (who he?), Salmon Mousse, Heading Nowhere and the three time winners, The Living End.


Carlos Menem
2 July 1930 – 14 February 2021
42 teams